Baby Steps
by Lipsmacked
Summary: Edward takes some advice from Emmett with sexy results. Between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn **Chapter 9 Added 01/25**
1. Chapter 1

**Edward's POV**

I paced in front of the house, looking down at the cell phone in my hand. It felt like a time bomb. How much longer were they going to be? Alice had promised me no later than 7 pm. Although the sun hid behind a thick layer of clouds, it was clear that it had begun to set.

"I'm gonna need her for a few hours so you're just going to have to be patient. She has almost no summer clothes. Trust me I'm doing you both a favor." Alice had demanded. This morning Alice drove off to pick up Bella and make her suffer through a whole day of shopping in Seattle, now that the rampant vampire aggression in the city had been crushed. I chuckled picturing Bella as she reluctantly climbed in Alice's Porche.

_They aren't going to come back any sooner with you standing there. _Emmett skipped down the porch stairs.

"So—"

"Two whole days alone. What are you guys gonna do?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing. Yesterday was her last day at Newton's, so I just want her to relax. She hasn't had a day to unwind really since we told Charlie and Renee about the engagement." I kicked a pebble at my foot impatiently. It flew down the gravel drive.

"What do you mean by nothing? You just gonna sit around an empty house and look at each other?"

"Don't worry, Emmett, she'll be entertained." Alice had helped me plan a sort of spa night for Bella tonight. Carlisle and Esme had an enormous bathroom, with a whirpol tub big enough for all 8 of us to sit in. Although our kind didn't need any sort of physical therapy, Esme loved to take relaxing candle lit baths every now and then.

Their bathroom was right below my bedroom. It had the same wide glass view of the back of the property. Alice had told me it would thunderstorm later this evening, and sound of the thunder and the sound of the rain would create a stunning atmosphere for Bella in the candlelit bathroom. As much as I hated to do it, I would wait patiently in the bedroom and give Bella her privacy.

"Well--," Emmett encouraged. I ignored his thoughts, instead wrapping my thoughts around the image of Bella feeling calm and relaxed. "Well you've figure out you can touch her."

I nodded, pursing my lips. We really did not need to discuss this.

"But its pretty much just been kissing?"

I nodded again, "Yep."

_Have you even seen her with her shirt off, any second, third base action?_

A deep growl rumbled in my chest. He knew what that meant, but he didn't stop.

_Dude, what if she has one boob and three nipples? Actually never mind. You wouldn't care._

"You're right. I wouldn't," I said through my teeth. He was on dangerous ground.

"Listen, man. You're main thing is making her happy right?"

"Right—" I looked at him hesitantly out of the corner of my eye. What was he getting at?

_And you're main fear is getting so excited that you rip her in half, right?_

"Right," I growled

_Well, you know there's other things you can do -- that don't involve clothes or you ripping her in half._

"What are you talking about?" He was starting to get on my nerves.

"Edward," Then the mental pictures starting coming.

"Yeah, yeah. Stop. I know I could do all that in theory, but Em, It's not like that with her. It's not all about getting in her pants."

_Have you ever thought that maybe she wants you to get in her pants? _He had me there. I had made a career of dodging her sexual advances._ Edward. I know you're trying to be a gentleman and all that good stuff, but there's not a girl on the planet who doesn't want her man to please her in that way. You don't have to be a dirt bag about it. Besides she'll probably think you're even more of a gentleman cause you'll be focused on her pleasure and her pleasure only. I mean I do have days where I only focus on Rose…_

"Yeah, I know." I scrambled to block the disjointed images in his head.

_Listen, you don't have to have sex with her before the wedding, but you worked up to being close to her and you worked up to kissing her so why not gradually work up to sleeping with her. Maybe it'll even help your control. You'll be more comfortable with her in less than clothes. Things may not come as so much of a shock. And I swear if you make her come a few good times, that will more than enough to hold her over til the honeymoon._

For once in a long time, Emmett had a point. Damn it. Maybe if Bella and I took things so slow, working up to our wedding night, I'll be able to control myself better when it came to the actual deed.

Soon I could hear the purr of Alice's Porche on the highway. I looked down at my phone.

"I'm gonna go see if Rose is ready. Just think about man."

"I will," I said sincerely. "Thanks."

He punched me on the shoulder, "No problem, baby bro. Trust me, you wont regret it."

Just as he disappeared into the house, my cell phone rang. It was Bella.

"Hi," she said sweetly.

"Bella," I breathed.

"We'll be there in a few minutes. I can't wait to see you." I could just see the smile on her face as she said the words.

"You have no idea. I'll see you soon. And Bella."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Edward. Bye."

I clicked my phone shut shoving it in my pocket. I could hear the others making their final arrangements to leave. A few days ago Alice seen had an unusual two day bought of cloudy weather in Los Angeles. She hadn't been to Rodeo Drive in years and she begged Rose and Esme to go with her. The guys followed, dreading 3 sexless nights. She had cleared Bella for another sleepover, while the boys and I were "hiking" again.

I could see the Porche snaking its way up the driveway. I would do my best to keep from ripping Bella's door off the hinges.

Alice pulled to a stop and quickly jumped out, hands full of bags. She threw me the keys.

"I gotta go. Park her for me," she yelled for Bella's benefit. She came to a screeching hault beside me and quickly whispered. "Emmett's idea will work. Go for it."

She then continued to bolt up the stairs. Bella had been looking down, unbuckling her seatbelt during our brief exchange.

"Bye Bella," she yelled over her shoulder. I was instantly at Bella's door helping her with her bags, more than I knew she wanted. She did not look at me, her bottom lip jutting out in the most adorable pout. I couldn't help but laugh.

"That bad, huh?"

"Edward, she made me try on so much stuff. I mean, I got some things I liked, but I would have much rather spent the day with you." She lay her head against my chest, melting my core instantly.

"Come on. Let's get you inside. It's going to rain soon." I could see the dark clouds beginning to roll over the horizon.

Once we were inside I heard the Mercedes and the BMW come to life. They'd slipped out the back as we came in the front. Bella always felt self-conscious when our family made a big show out of giving us privacy. I had to remind her that they enjoyed their alone time too.

I dropped the bags in the front room, then turned to Bella, taking her in my arms. I inhaled her sweet scent, feeling the dull burn. The burn that meant I was alive, with her in my arms.

"So what would you like to do first, love? Did you have dinner yet?" I brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"No. I didn't have lunch either. It was shop, shop—" she cut herself off, biting her lip. I could feel the narrowing of my eyes. "Don't be angry with her, Edward. You know how she gets. It's my fault. I should have reminded her."

"No, Bella. She knows better," I growled. Bella then placed her hand delicately on my cheek.

"Please, for me. Don't be angry." Her wide eyes gleamed up at me. How could I say no to her. Maybe I'd have to leave the Porche out in the rain, just for a few hours.

"Alright. Well let's get you fed." I whisked her up and carried her to the kitchen plopping her down on the counter. She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me closer, wrapping her legs around my waist.

She had been back five whole minutes and that was five whole minutes I had wasted talking when I could have been kissing her. She planted one soft kiss on my throat, followed by another and another. I had to raise an eyebrow. This way my move.

"What's this all about?" I whispered in her ear.

"Nothing, I just missed you."

"I missed you too, love. It was a long day. Here let me get started." I flew around the kitchen pulling all the necessary tools to make her some of her favorite southwestern cuisine.

When the fajitas were done, I sat with Bella stroking her hair as she ate in silence. I could watch her like this all day and all night. She was so beautiful, every motion of her silken skin an arousing sight.

She looked up at me lovingly when she was done. She smiled. "That was excellent. What would you like to do now?"

I thought for a moment on how exactly to phrase my next words. It had been my experience that surprises, when it came to Bella and I in the bedroom, always gave her the wrong impression. I had to first see if some level of foreplay was something she would be interested in tonight and secondly make my full intentions clear. We would not be making love tonight.

"Actually there was something I wanted to ask you," I said slowly.

"Okay—" she looked up at me skeptically.

"Don't worry. You already said yes to the most dreaded question. This, you might actually like." She took a deep breath, shaking the hesitant expression from her face. She was so adorable when she was putting in effort.

"Okay. What would you like to ask me?"

I looked down preparing to unleash the full force of my gaze on her, so she knew I meant business. "I know that I promised to make love to you after we were married--," her heart began to race, "And Emmett presented me with an interesting idea."

"Emmett?" She asked cautiously.

"Yes. My family knows how afraid I am to hurt you and he suggested that if we took some steps in that direction, when the night came, I would be better prepared." I had to smile at her expression. Her mind was racing and her face was turning pink trying to keep up. I stroked her cheek gently. She was burning up.

"And by steps, what do you mean?" She gulped slightly.

"Well, now we would only take—steps that you were comfortable with. But I was hoping that maybe you wouldn't be opposed to me pleasuring you, -- physically, in a few ways – over the course of your stay here." I struggled to not to laugh.

Her eyes nearly fell out of her head.

"Breath, love."

She blinked snapping herself out of her stupor. "No, I wouldn't be opposed to that at all. I actually think that baby steps in that direction might be good for the both of us. I would hate to hurt you on our wedding night." She chuckled lightly, looking down.

"Excellent. We don't have to jump into anything right this moment, I just wanted to bring it up, so neither of us would be caught up in my actions later on."

"Okay." She whispered. She looked down, her cheeks reaching crimson.

"What's the matter?" I asked laying a gentle kiss on her cheek.

She smiled bashfully. "Alice took me for a bikini wax today. She said it would be better to get in the habit now, so my skin would be used to it by the time the honeymoon came around. I think she had ulterior motives."

That Alice, always thinking.

"I see. Well first, why don't you show me some of the things Alice bought you."

"I don't have to try them on again, do I?"

I chuckled. "No, sweetheart. I just want to see what you were able to agree on."

I carried Bella and the bags up to my room and she pulled the clothes from each bag, article by article.

Everything was extremely flattering. A white sundress with small blue flowers, a few pairs of shorts, short enough for my liking, but not so short that Charlie would raise an eyebrow. A few tank tops and low cut v-neck t-shirts, that would her hug her curves just right.

When she reached the last bag, her cheeks were on fire. "Alice saw some of my underwear during the initial fitting and decided that I needed some more adult options." She pulled some fairly harmless panties from the bag and matching bras. I tried not to linger on fantasies of seeing Bella in these particular garments.

"These are nice," I commented lightly. Then she pulled the final item from the bag.

A blue bikini. I swear I could kiss Alice.

"You didn't have a swimsuit?"

"Actually no. I never thought I'd be swimming up here. The ocean is too cold."

She did have a point. But she didn't know she would meet me or that my family had an enormous hot tub.

"Actually this will work perfectly for what I have planned for you tonight." Maybe I didn't have to leave Bella alone in the tub after all.

"We're going swimming?" Her fragile brow contorted.

"Not exactly. Why don't you get changed and I'll be right back."

"Okay."

I kissed her sweet lips for a moment, her lips setting mine ablaze, then left her to change. It was going to be hard controlling myself tonight, but I would try.

I raced down to Carlisle and Esme's bathroom, pulling the curtains in the bathroom open. I found a small note on the sink.

**_Dear Edward, Alice told me these are some of Bella's favorite scents. Have a nice weekend and remember we love you. Love, Esme_**

I had picked up some of Bella's strawberry scented bath wash and shampoo, but on the counter were an array of shampoos, scented candles, bath salts, lotions and massage oils in strawberry and honey suckle. She had also purchased Bella an elegant, terry cloth bathrobe, my favorite shade of blue. It was sure to keep her warm. Esme and Alice were simply amazing. I chuckled at the thought; no other teenage boy on the planet had a mother and sister who would help him get his girlfriend in the mood.

I ran the water, filling the tub with the honeysuckle bubble bath and quickly lit the candles, arranging them a safe distance from Bella's clumsy reach. When the tub was full I ran outside and whipped Alice's car back into the garage. She had more than made up for forgetting to feed Bella.

When it was parked safely next to the Volvo, I sprinted back up to my room, knocking gently on the door.

"Come in," Bella nearly whispered. I opened the door to find her sitting on my couch, changed and ready to go. She swallowed and stood trying to look confident. I closed my mouth, which was hanging open as I appraised her delicate form.

Her hair was swept up in a ponytail, exposing her neck. Up to this point the skimpiest thing I had seem Bella in was a t-shirt. Emmett was right. I shouldn't have put this off.

"What do you think?" She bit her lip.

The truth would do in this instance. "I think you look amazing. Come here." She walked slowly over to me, looking down at the floor bashfully.

"You really like it?"

I took her face in my hands, kissing her deeply. I wanted her so bad.

"Yes. I like it very much. You have no idea."

"So if we're not going swimming, what are we doing?" She asked as I took her hand and led her toward the door.

"_I_ am going to sit with you while _you_ take a nice warm bath, wash away all those bad thoughts of shopping," I laughed gently.

"Well it wasn't all bad." She smiled.

She seemed a little skeptical about where I was leading her. The only other bedroom she had been in was Alice's. "Don't worry. I have their permission," I whispered.

When I opened the bathroom door she let out an audible gasp. The candles filled the room with a soft glow. In the distance the storm clouds raged, off setting dark greys and black. I looked down at her.

"Edward, you didn't have to do this."

"But I wanted to." I pulled her into my chest, running my fingers across her forehead. "I just want you to have a nice relaxing weekend."

"And Esme and Carlisle don't mind?"

"No, love. They offered. Come on, why don't you hop in." I took her hand and led her to the high edge of the tub, helping her in. She looked around the room taking it all in, appraising the massive size of the tub. I sat down on the edge of the tub facing her.

"You know, I think there's room in here for you too," she laughed. "Actually we could fit the Forks High Football team in here as well."

My brow furrowed at that. I didn't like the idea of all those guys near my Bella.

"I'm kidding, baby." She reassured me. "But honestly, you can get in here too, you know."

"I will in due time, love. Just relax." She closed her eyes and slid down a little, resting her head against the edge of the tub. I reached behind me and grabbed the remote to the stereo system. I had installed it a few years ago, an anniversary present from Carlisle.

Bella's lullaby came through the speakers and a sarcastic look spread across Bella's face.

"What?" I asked.

"It's a little early for me to go to sleep. You have anything a little more appropriate for the mood?" She opened one eye smiling at me. She could be so seductive and she didn't even know it. I changed the CD to one more applicable to the mood. "Much better," she giggled.

I learned forward and kissed her forehead. She released a light sigh.

"I'll be right back. You just enjoy the bubbles."

"Hurry," She said bashfully.

She didn't have to tell me twice. I sprinted back up to my room and quickly change into the board shorts I had from our last trip south. We didn't swim in the river much here.

When I came back in the door, I had the pleasure of seeing Bella's surprise at my appearance. I couldn't help but tease her. I ducked my head bashfully, doing my best Bella impression.

"What do you think?"

She laughed, her cheeks tainted pink, a little from embarrassment, a little from temperature of the water.

"You're such a punk. Get in here."

I climbed into the tub, carefully as to not create a tidal wave with my dense form, and slid to the side opposite her. Even with my feet stretched all the way out, our toes barely touched. At least half the football team _could_ fit in here.

"I was hoping you would come sit by me actually," she said playing with some suds on the surface of the water.

I gazed at her body hidden beneath the bubbles that covered the surface of the water. I ducked under the water. I could see her body contract as she drew a deep breath. I floated under the water and slid my hands up her delicate ankles to her soft, supple thighs, until my head broke the surface. My face inches from hers.

"Is this better?" I breathed against her lips.

She gulped. "Much." I expected her to attack me. Close proximity often proved to be too much for her, but she was suddenly in control of herself. Sort of.

She gently kissed my lips once, then pulled away. "Since you seem to have some sort of plan in place, I'll let you handle things from here on out. How does that sound?"

Again, she was doing that thing, where she's unintentionally seductive. This thing she does when I want to rip all of clothes off and ravage her.

"That sounds fine. You just let me know when you want me stop."

She laughed a quick breathy laugh. "That's not likely, but you'll be first to know."

I readied my body for an onslaught of arousal. I could enjoy this. I could allow myself the pleasure of her touch, allow myself the pleasure of her body against mine, her gentle curves under my finger tips. But I had to keep my desires and my strength somewhat in check. Again I didn't want to give Bella the impression that this was going to lead further than I had intended.

My body was still floating above hers on the surface of the water. There were so many ways this could go, but maybe I should lay my plan out for her, so there were be no surprises. Well-- maybe some.

"I was thinking--," I placed my hand gently on her ribs, just below her bikini top. I curved my fingers around her shape. She swallowed again. "--that I could start here. Or here." I slid my hand down to her waist. She watched my eyes intently. I slid my hand over to her inner thigh. "Or perhaps here. What do you think?" I leaned forward and placed a simple kiss on the tip of her nose.

She too was trying to keep her arousal in check. She wasn't succeeding. I could feel the heat coming from in between her legs. "This is your party, Edward. You can start wherever you like." She stared down at my lips.

It was too much fun teasing her. Her heart was beating at breakneck speed. Her breath was coming slightly harder.

"Hmmmm. I think I'd like to start right here." I lifted my hand, running my fingers up the back of her neck. I pulled her hair out of the ponytail and watched as it fell around her shoulders, the tips trailing under the surface of the water.

Her eyes were still focused on my lips. She wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss her. I laced my fingers into her hair and gently tilted her head to the side. Small moans came from her lips as I began to assault her neck with kisses.

Her body began to move slowly, reacting to the motions I made against her. My mouth found its way to hers and I kissed her passionately, breaking only to let her catch her breath. She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me closer. I dropped my hands to her waist and in one swift motion I was seated with her in my across my lap. It took all of my concentration to not get an erection. This was about her.

I traced small circles around her back, feeling every inch of her. I can't believe I have never gotten this close, that I have never felt the bare skin of her whole back under my fingertips. Her skin was so warm and soft.

So we were here, half naked, her on my lap. My mind scrambled. What was I going to do next? Her body gave me an indication of what might be a good start, when her breast, nipples fully erect despite the temperature of the water, grazed against my chest.

I began to trace my finger along the seam of her swimsuit, just at the top of the soft mound.

"Maybe I could proceed here next. Would that be okay?" I breathed my cool breath into her throat. She shivered with pleasure.

In the distance the storm began.

"Yeah, that would be fine." She whimpered. I reached my other hand behind her and untied her top, pulling it off. My eyes focused on her trembling lips while I draped the small piece of fabric over the edge of the tub. I brought my fingers around the curve of her bare breast and her breathing deepened. My fingers ran across her nipple and the skin around the sensitive area began to further contract. Bella's head fell back, her teeth grasping her lower lip.

"Is this okay?" I whispered.

She moaned her reply, her eyes, gently, closed. "Yes."

I slid down, only slightly and pulled Bella around so she was straddling my stomach, raising her torso out of the water, her perfect pink nipples level with my mouth. I was careful to keep her soft, warm divide away from the erection that was starting to form. I would have to worry about that later. This was about Bella and her pleasure.

She looked down at me, her eyes burning with passion. I couldn't help the grin that tugged at the corner of my lips. I pulled her closer, letting my tongue lap across her breast. She began moving, slight, quick movements, pressing her center into my stomach. The sounds she was making were driving my crazy. Had I known I could have made her moan like this, I would have touched her this way months ago. Stupid.

"Is this okay?" I asked switching to the other breast.

"Yes," she sighed. Bella's hands found the back of my head, weaving her fingers into my hair. Her body began moving faster, but I was nowhere near done. I slid my hand down her back all the way to the edge of her bikini bottom, running finger along its seam.

"Would it be okay if I removed these?"

Bella opened her eyes, gazing at me. Carefully, gracefully, which was interesting to watch considering it was Bella, she placed her hands on my shoulders, found her footing and pulled herself up into a standing position in front of me. Her throbbing center was a foot from my face. She bashfully placed one arm across her breasts. This simple concealment was amazingly sexy. She carefully chewed the inside of her bottom lip and waited for me to make the next move.

I pulled myself forward, I ran my hands up Bella's thighs, marveling at how silky they felt beneath my rock hard touch. She followed their every move as they made their way to the corners over her bathing suit bottom. Realizing she would have to steady herself to step out of them, she leaned forward and placed her hands on my shoulders again.

Her tight nipples were inches from my face. FOCUS!

I hooked my thumbs on either side and began to pull the bottoms down slowly. She took a deep breath, stepped out one foot at a time, pulling herself erect when they were safely off. I placed them on the edge of the tub next to her top, keeping my eyes on her. I had fantasized about Bella fully naked since first time we'd kissed. The real thing was better. Every line soft, every curve in perfect proportion.

"Come here," I whispered.

She slid down back into the tub, to her knees and waded back onto my lap. I grabbed her rear, willing her body to straddle me again. I heard her gasp as her dripping core grazed my full grown erection. Using the buoyant water to my advantage, I wrapped one arm around her waist, keeping her body hovering above mine.

I titled my head up and began kissing her full lips again. She kissed me back, softly, but with passion. Small, innocent moans came with every breath. I kept kissing her as I ran my fingers along the outside of her soft lips. The soapy water did nothing to wash away her natural wetness that was literally seeping from between her legs. Her fingers tighten in my hair.

"Do you want me to keep going?"

"Mmmhhmm," she whispered.

I gently slid a finger inside of her. My body shuddered against my will at the warmth.

She pulled my mouth back to hers, kissing me fiercely now. I, instinctively slid another finger in, massaging her insides gently, my thumb stroking her clit.

That was when she lost control.

I worked my fingers to the rhythm of her body as she began to ride my hand, her soft walls contracting. I watched her face intently, looking for any sign of pain. I could find none.

"Edward," she moaned. She worked her hips harder and faster, her body creating small waves in the tub. The lines on her forehead contorted with her effort. For a brief moment I was afraid she would hurt herself on my unyielding, stone fingers, but the moans continued, growing sweeter, more forcefully.

Her head fell back in ecstasy as I felt one, long, final contraction around my fingers. A loud moan came from deep within her chest. "Edward. Edward." she cried.

I would never get tired of this. Her body began to writhe for a few more moments as I held her close, my fingers still inside of her.

I slowly pulled them out and wrapped my arms around her, scooping her up to cradle her against my chest. I held her this way, her head resting on my shoulder, gently kissing her cheeks, until her pulse slowed and my erection calmed.

I spoke again when her heartbeat was near to normal.

"How are you feeling?" I whispered.

She giggled hiding her face against my chest. "I feel pretty great actually."

"That's what I was going for. I know it's still sort of early, but are you tired? Are you ready to go to sleep?"

"No," she said lightly. She ran her fingers across my collarbone. "You want to watch a movie or something?"

"Sure. I think that would be lovely. Come on. Out of the pool." I stood, setting Bella carefully on the bath mat. I grabbed a big towel and wrapped it around her small frame, rubbing her sides to keep her warm. I dried her completely off. Then grabbed the robe, helping her into it. She looked at me a little confused. It was a perfect fit, hanging just above her knees, her name was embroidered in elegant script on the lapel.

"It's a little gift from Esme."

"Oh." The pink tint returned to her cheeks, no doubt remembering that my when I said my family had no secrets, that included Esme and Carlisle.

"Edward."

"Yes, love."

"Thank you."

I looked at her puzzled. What was she thanking me for. _I _should be thanking her – for letting me get so close, for letting me explore and enjoy her body.

"Thank you for what?"

"For that," she said eyes wide, nodding towards the tub.

"No Bella. Thank you. I just wanted to make you feel pleasure."

"Well mission accomplished."

**This works as a stand alone, however I am playing with the idea of two more chapters playing out the rest of their romantic weekend. chapter 2 would be from Bella's POV and chapter 3 would go back to Edward. let me know what you think**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: I was not expecting the response I got from Chapter 1 at all. I hope you enjoy Chapter 2.**

**Thank you to Stephenie Meyer for giving us these amazing characters.**

**Bella's POV**

"There's just no reason to be self-conscious about this sort of thing, especially with me. In a few shorts weeks, you'll have _no_ secrets, well _you_ will, but the goings on of your relationship with Edward will pretty much be common Cullen knowledge." Alice had a point. Edward had told, once upon a time, that he and his family had no secrets. _"Not feasible,"_ he'd said, with him reading minds and Alice seeing the future. I was safe from his mind probing abilities, but Alice was a different story.

"I saw the first time he decided to touch you, the first time he decided to spend the night with you – the first time he kissed you."—she gently nudged my ribs. "I'm just so attuned to Edward and now you, Bella. I see things. Not to be nosey. It's just the same way I see things happening for everyone I love."

And I couldn't help but love Alice. She was the best friend, the best sister-to-be a girl could have. That is, when she wasn't busy torturing you in dressing rooms and nail salons.

This summer had been unusually warm in Forks, at times down right hot and now all my summer clothes were in Renee's storage space in Jacksonville collecting dust.

"Bella, you don't want her to send you that stuff anyway. You have a need now, not in 5 to 10 business days. Let's go down to Seattle and get you some shorts and things. I promise, it'll be worth it." Alice spoke with a sudden determination. I hated when she was right. The weather forecast had said temperatures in the 60's and 70's for a least the next 10 days. I needed something besides sweaters and jeans to wear _now_.

But that wasn't what was frustrating me. What I_ needed_ was Edward and Alice could sense that.

We stood amongst the racks in Victoria Secret. I waited patiently, well not so patiently, but I waited trying my hardest not to huff and puff, as Alice pulled lacy panties and bras from various racks and drawers, holding them up against me.

"So you want to ask me something about Edward. Just ask," She said, discarding a hideous leopard print thong.

I knew that Edward loved me and I knew that he wanted to be with me forever, but recently, with Jacob extracting himself from my life and all evil vampire threats at bay, I had a lot of time to think. Most of the time when I wasn't thinking about kissing Edward, I was thinking about why _all I ever did was kiss Edward_. I wanted more. He had promised to make love to me once we were married, but every time we kissed and it seemed it would come to more – something along the lines of heavy petting-- he would stop. And every time I couldn't help but feel a little rejected. I knew Edward had gotten over his desire for my blood and I knew he was terrified of hurting me, but it felt like he never had a desire for me, sexually. He said he did, but sometimes he made it so hard to believe. I knew I was being hopelessly insecure, but I couldn't help it. I wanted him so badly.

I took a deep breath and the words just flowed. "It's just that, I know Edward is old fashioned and he doesn't think it's _virtuous_ to do anything beyond kissing before we get married, but sometimes, Alice I just can't take it. I feel like I 'm going to explode and then he just stops. I just can't help but feel like he doesn't want me that way, you know. Like he wants to love me and be with me but he doesn't want more than that. It's as if he would be completely happy just holding my hand and kissing forever, but I don't want to just hold hands and kiss…" I stopped.

Alice was looking at me intently.

"Are you done?" She was staring at me.

I sighed. "No, but go ahead."

"Bella, you are utterly and completely wrong."

"But-"

"Shhh, Let me finish." I held my tongue. "I'm going to give it to you straight. He's afraid he's going to kill you and he wants to be married you first, well partly_, sooo_, just in case he paralyzes you while you're doing more than kissing and he has to change you right then and there, you'll be with him all the time and Charlie won't freak out if he doesn't see you for a while. What do you think Charlie would do if you just went missing? Now I know he's not going to hurt you. Carlisle knows he's going to hurt you. I can see it. If he hasn't killed you yet he's not going to. But you know him. He's so over the top." I was a little taken aback by how casually this conversation was going in the middle of Victoria Secret. "Bella, You have no idea how much Edward wants you, how much he wants to do more than just kiss. He's just afraid."

I took a deep breath. She was right. I knew Edward's super human strength was his greatest fear.

"But can you at least see _why _I'm frustrated. Imagine if you had to wait 2 years before Jasper even felt you up, and I'm talking over the clothes."

"He hasn't even done that yet?"

"NO! When I say we just kiss, I mean we just kiss."

Her eyes tightened and she lowered her voice. "So you've never had a – you know?"

I pouted. "No." I imagined Alice and Rosalie spent their nights reveling in one long orgasm. I pushed the thought out of my head. It would only make me jealous, then mad and then a little bit sad.

Alice looked down quickly. She registered the fact, fighting pity and then brightened her expression again. In that brief second she completely comprehended my frustration.

"Don't worry, Bella. Please just be patient. You and Edward will have a wonderful honeymoon. You will do more than kiss, trust me." She giggled, lightly tugged my hair.

I scuffed my toe on the ground in frustration. "I know, I just want to more _now_."

She patted me on my shoulder and handed me a small pile of bras and panties. I hadn't even been paying attention to what she picked out.

"Now let's go get you waxed," she smiled, exposing her white bright teeth. The dreaded Brazilian Alice had scheduled for me snapped me out of my funk. I was now able to focus all my attention on not strangling her or the esthetician.

We shopped for a few more hours, trying on tons and tons of shorts and tank tops, sundress and matching sandals. I put up with it until she dragged me into a bathing suit store.

"What do I need bathing suit for? I haven't been swimming in years."

"Just in case. It never hurts to have one on reserve." She picked out a fairly safe blue bikini, Edward's favorite color. I was suddenly grateful for the wax.

Finally we jumped back her car, --she was glad we'd left town so she could drive the Porche-- and headed back to Forks.

I was dying to get back to Edward and glad to be free from all the stress of the past few months.

Alice had a vision foretelling of two unusually cloudy days in Beverly Hills. She had convinced Esme and Rosalie that it was a perfect time to head to Rodeo Drive. I was in no way up to that sort of high powered shopping. So she cleared my weekend with Charlie making up yet another tale of abandonment so I was free to spend the whole weekend with Edward, at the Cullen house, alone.

By the time we hit the last stretch of highway before their house, I was ready to jump from the car and make a run for it. I couldn't get to Edward soon enough. I flipped open the cell phone he gave me a few days before, a non-present, to keep in touch with him. I quickly dialed his number.

"You guys are so cute. Can't even wait a few thousand yards," Alice giggled.

I ignored her and hit send. He answered on the first ring.

"Hi," I said. There was an obvious change in my when I talked to him.

"Bella," he breathed. I missed his voice so much. I couldn't wait to see his face.

"We'll be there in a few minutes. I can't wait to see you." I smiled anxiously. It felt like years since I had been in his arms.

"You have no idea. I'll see you soon. And Bella…"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Edward. Bye."

Luckily Alice was trying to break the sound barrier, so we pulled into the driveway in record time. Suddenly she was in a hurry. She threw the car in park and jumped out.

I looked up to see the back of her head disappear into the front door.

"Bye Bella," she yelled over her shoulder.

Instantly my love was at my door, opening it for me. He grabbed my bags. If didn't have all that crap, it would be me in his arms instead.

He chuckled. "That bad, huh?"

"Edward, she made me try on so much stuff. I mean, I got some things I liked, but I would have much rather spent the day with you." I lay my head against his ice cold chest. It was a relief to be with him again.

"Come on. Let's get you inside. It's going to rain soon."

When we got inside the house was empty. I was instantly embarrassed, imagining Emmett giving Edward a hard time. _Why would we possibly need the house to ourselves for the weekend? We weren't going to do anything._

I followed Edward into the kitchen. He had been preparing for the few short days or weeks after hour wedding when I would be his fragile human wife with silly human needs, like food. He loved to cook for me and watch me eat. God knows why. He made chicken fajitas, one of my favorite dishes.

"All finished." I smiled up at him. "That was excellent. What would you like to do now?" It would do him no good to ask me what_ I_ wanted to do. Me and him alone, that big bed upstairs… and we'd be down here, watching tv or something equally unsexy. It didn't matter. I still got to spend uninterrupted time in his beautiful arms and that was all that really mattered.

"Actually there was something I wanted to ask you," he said slowly. I looked up at him cautiously. Something about his tone was off.

"Okay—"

He looked at me from under his dark lashes, his golden eyes his sparking, but something in them was hesitant. He was making me nervous.

"Don't worry. You already said yes to the most dreaded question. This you might actually like." He said grinning his perfect grin. I shook my head and took a deep breath, resetting my expression. I didn't want to discourage him from whatever he wanted to say.

"Okay. What would you like to ask me?" I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

Suddenly his face became very warm, his topaz eyes liquid pools.

"I know that I promised to make love to you after we were married--," oh god, had he changed his mind. He was backing out. My heart began to race, He had totally backed me into a corner. "And Emmett presented me with an interesting idea." I blinked. What did Emmett have to do with our wedding night?

"Emmett?" I asked. I was confused and a little suspicious.

"Yes. My family knows how afraid I am to hurt you and he suggested that if we took some steps in that direction, when the night came I would be better prepared." Something in my expression made him smile. He reached up and stroked my cheek with his cool hand. I felt like I was having a heart attack. Was he saying what I think he was saying?

"And by steps what do you mean?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Well, now we would only take—steps that you were comfortable with. But I was hoping that maybe you wouldn't be opposed to me pleasuring you, -- physically, in a few ways – over the course of your stay here." I was having and out of body experience. This couldn't be happening. On no planet would Edward–a-firing-squad-could–not-sway-my- decision-Cullen, be asking me if he could _pleasure me physically_. On no planet would Edward be willing to do more than kiss. The mere thought of it was making me dizzy. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Breath, love."

I was wasting precious time trying not to pass out.

"No, I wouldn't be opposed to that at all. I actually think that baby steps in that direction might be good for the both of us. I would hate to hurt _you_ on our wedding night." I chuckled lightly waiting for his punch line.

"Excellent. We don't have to jump into anything right this moment, I just wanted to bring it up, so neither of us would be caught up in my actions later on." Wait. He was serious. And then it hit me. Alice knew. The new underwear, THE WAXING! She knew that Edward was planning something for me tonight, something that would involve him -pleasuring me. Had they been in on this together? No. Edward wouldn't do that.

"Okay." I whispered. I was mortified.

"What's the matter?" he asked laying a single gentle kiss on my cheek.

"Alice took me for a bikini wax today. She said it would be better to get in the habit now, so my skin would be used to it by the time the honeymoon came around, but I think she had ulterior motives." I admitted.

"I see. Well first why don't you show me some of the things Alice bought you."

"I don't have to try them on again do I?"

"No, sweetheart. I just want to see what you were able to agree on." he said gently. His voice was like velvet.

He carried me up to his room and I showed him all the things Alice had bought. I turned bright red when I got to the underwear. "Alice saw some of my underwear during the initial fitting and decided that I needed some more adult options."

"These are nice." See that right there is why I was having a hard time believe his proposal. I had bought some fairly sexy new bras and panties and he didn't even seem to care. Every thing about his response screamed _Oh that's nice Bella. Doesn't matter though. I'll never see you in them._

Suddenly everything changed when I pulled out my new bikini.

"You didn't have a swimsuit?" He asked sincere surprise written all over his expression.

"Actually no. I never thought I'd be swimming up here. The ocean is too cold."

"_Actually_ this will work perfectly for what I have planned for you tonight."

"We're going swimming?" I asked… confused again.

"Not exactly. Why don't you get changed and I'll be right back."

"Okay."

Our lips met for an all too brief moment and he was gone.

This was getting to be too much. I would just give up. I would just wait and see what happened. Stop getting my hopes up, stop thinking that I was actually going to get a taste of what I wanted. There was no point in trying to figure him out. I had gotten my hopes up for the bed and look what happened. I tried to look on the bright side. Maybe he would do something sweet or romantic like give me a nice massage. It wouldn't be exactly what I was hoping for, a night hot unbridled passion, but it was would still be nice, having his hands on me. Better than nice. It would be wonderful.

I put the bikini on, grateful that Edward was paler than I, and folded my clothes neatly on the bed. If it had been my room I would have just tossed them on the floor, but the Cullen's house was so clean. I would shame Esme's impeccable cleanliness to throw clothes on the floor.

Then I sat on the couch to wait. I didn't have to wait long before there was a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," I said. I'd never been particularly embarrassed of my body. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it, but that could go both ways. Next to Edward, it looked just plain. The look on his face, however suddenly made me self-conscious. I stood, taking a small step forward.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I think you look amazing. Come here." I walked over to him slowly. I could feel my hold body going pink.

"You really like it?" I could not always trust Alice's judgment. He took my face in his cold hands and pressed his wintry lips to mine. I instantly forgot where I was, what I was wearing.

Too soon, he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Yes. I like it very much. You have no idea."

I sighed. Why did he have to be so amazing? I couldn't be mad at him for being so afraid. I loved him as he loved me and if it were the other way around, my worst fear would be hurting his gorgeous frame.

"So if we're not going swimming, what are we doing?" I asked looking up at him as he led me towards the second floor. I was curious about where we were going.

"_I_ am going to sit with you while _you_ take a nice warm bath, wash away all those bad thoughts of shopping," He laughed my favorite laugh, the one that said he was happy.

"Well it wasn't all bad." I smiled back at him. Looking in his golden eyes I knew I would be perfectly fine waiting til the honeymoon. Being with him and seeing him happy was more than enough.

He led me into Esme and Carlisle's room. I felt a little strange about this, sort of like bringing Edward home to cuddle on Charlie's bed.

"Don't worry. I have their permission," he said, sensing my hesitation.

I thought that Edward had reached the limit of what he would do in terms of romance, although he never had to do much. His touch, his gentle embrace, the look in his golden eyes after his lips found mine, was enough romance to last me a lifetime. But tonight, Edward had out done himself.

The lights in the enormous bathroom were off, the only illumination coming from an arrangement of scented candles around the edge of the enormous whirpol tub. The smell in the room was amazing. Honeysuckle, one of my favorites.

"Edward, you didn't have to do this." I could feel the tears trying to well, but I held them back.

"But I wanted to." He pulled me into his icy chest, running his fingers across my forehead. "I just want you to have a nice relaxing weekend." I was such a monster. I had the most perfect man in the world and I was complaining that he wouldn't feel me up like some drunken frat boy. I did not deserve him.

Edward helped me into the tub, watching me get comfortable in the water. He assured me that Carlisle and Esme were completely okay with this. He turned on some nice soothing, yet romantic music before he went to change so he could join me. He returned quickly, teasing me a bit before he climbed in the tub, sitting across from me. This would be nice. A huge warm bath, a half naked Edward, I could sit here in his arms all night. The idea itself almost made me sigh, but he had to be closer.

"I was hoping you would come sit by me actually." I didn't like the distance between us.

Before I realized, he was under the water moving towards me. His hands found my ankles, moving up my legs to my thighs. My breath caught. I thought_ I_ was going to take a bath. He was really going through with this plan. He was really considering pleasuring me. I fought to control the reactions of my body. His touch was so arousing. The space between my legs began to tingle.

The crown of his head broke the surface, his body floating over mine, our lips inches apart.

"Is this better?" he purred. I could taste his sweet breath on my tongue. The tingling started to spread.

"Much," I was able to squeak out. I decided to let this just play out, let Edward go ahead with whatever he had planned. I leaned forward and kissed him once, softly on the lips. "Since you seem to have some sort of plan in place, I'll let you handle things from here on out. How does that sound?"

"That sounds fine. You just let me know when you want me stop." He breathed, his eyes on my lips.

"That's not likely, but you'll be first to know." I reassured him.

Suddenly his hands were on my body, stroking the skin on my side.

"I was thinking that I could start here. Or here." He whispered. My eyes never left his as his hand found its way to my waist and then slowly to my inner thigh. "Or perhaps here. What do you think?" He softly kissed the tip of my nose. As he pulled away my eyes traveled to his lips, just thinking of the taste.

The tingling had turned to burning and it was everywhere. I tried my hardest to form a complete sentence.

"This is your party, Edward. You can start wherever you like."

"Hmmmm. I think I'd like to start right here." God he was driving me crazy. Did he know he was so good at this? Was this all some cruel joke, some plot to drive me insane?

He gently pulled my hair out of my ponytail and braided his fingers into it. His kisses started at my neck as he slowly made his way to my lips. I was on fire.

I felt his hand caress the edge of my bathing suit top. My throbbing center tightened. His hands moved swiftly. One moment he was above me and the next I was sitting in his lap.

"Maybe I could proceed here next. Would that be okay?" His cool breath covered my neck. My head was swimming. I could barely breathe. I wanted him so bad. My mind was screaming _yes, yes, take me now. Proceed wherever you want, just don't stop touching me._

"Yeah, that would be fine." That was all I could manage to say.

He quickly, untied my bathing suit top. I had no idea where he put it and I didn't care, because before I could even think about it, his mouth was on my breast, licking and kissing my nipple. I had to be dreaming. I was going to wake up in Charlie's house, tangled in my faded quilt, on Saturday morning, sad and frustrated. There was no way this was actually happening.

The cool air that came from deep within him grazed the divide between my breasts. "Is this okay?" he asked before giving his full attention to my other nipple. This was good, this was really good. I could handle this. We could play this way for the next few weeks. This _would_ more than enough to hold me over.

He was slow and deliberate as he continued to suckle my breasts. A ripple of pleasure shot through my body.

"Yes," I moaned. He moved quickly now and I was suddenly straddling his stomach. His hands moved to the edge of my bathing suit bottoms.

"Would it be okay if I removed these?" Did he even have to ask.

I couldn't speak anymore. I couldn't trust myself. I had no idea what would come out of my mouth. So I stood up in the tub, my stance an open invitation for his waiting hands.

My gazed followed his fingers as they blazed a trail up my thighs, before hooking themselves in the corners of my suit, slowly pulling them down.

I stood there, my arm covering my breasts bashfully, completely naked… in front of Edward. I would wake up any minute now.

He beckoned me seductively. I was in his complete control. I slid back into the water, into his waiting arms.

He wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me back over his stomach. I gasped as my soft wetness grazed his enormous erection threatening to break through his shorts.

I couldn't control my body when he began kissing me again. The feeling of the water, his cool stomach pressed up against the space between my legs, it was becoming too much. It ached to be close to him, throbbed to feel him under me.

His fingers found their way to my soft outer lips, the bare skin utterly sensitive to his arctic touch. Even in the water, I was dripping wet, my body inviting him in. My fingers tightened in his hair.

"Do you want me to keep going?" When he spoke again his voice was low and husky. My centered convulsed at the sound.

"Mmmhhmm," I whispered. He gently slid his finger inside. I felt his body shuddered beneath me. I was glad he was enjoying this as much as I was.

The feeling of his ice-cold finger inside me was amazing, There is no way to describe it. Waves and waves of pleasure rolled through my body as he hit the sweetest spot, applying just the perfect amount of pressure, again and again.

I pulled his mouth back to mine. I had to taste him on my lips. I had to get the full effect. He kissed me back sweetly and deeply, sliding another finger inside my body and using his thumb to massage my clit.

And that's when I pretty much lost my mind.

His fingers set a delicious pace, rubbing and massaging. My body flexed around his hand, pushing itself harder against his thumb, harder against the support of his wrist. There was no give. I began to ride his hand vigorously, chasing the climax my body craved. I felt myself moaning but I couldn't hear. My core throbbed all the way up to my ears, muffling every sound, but his rising breath. I was so close.

My head threw itself back, my core gripping him one more time. I began to shiver with pleasure, calling out his name. The final ripple of the orgasm filtered throughout my body.

He pulled me closer to his chest, his fingers still inside me, just holding me until I was completely done.

He slowly pulled his fingers out, swooping his arms under my legs, cradling me to his chest like a child. He held me like this, my head on his shoulder until my breathing slowed and I could hear again. The pleasure echoed in my brain, clouding everything that had been just a few short hours ago.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, stroking my cheek. How to describe how I felt? There were no words, but I did try.

"I feel pretty great actually."

"That's what I was going for. I know it's still sort of early, but are you tired? Are you ready to go to sleep?" His words came slow and soft.

"No." I wasn't ready to close my eyes to him. "You want to watch a movie or something?" I traced his smooth, marble collar bone with my finger tips.

When he lifted me out of the tub, my head was still a jumbled mess. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I didn't completely comprehend it.

Edward had seen me in a skimpy bathing suit.

Edward had undressed me.

Edward had tasted my breasts and caressed my body.

Edward had made me come.

And… he didn't kill me.

Who was this man? Who had taught him these deliciously naughty tricks? I didn't care. I fought a smile, biting my lip while he dried me off. The bathrobe he draped around me felt nice. The name embroidered on the lapel finally snapped me from me reverie.

_Bella,_ it read in elegant script.

"It's a little gift from Esme." Edward said softly.

"Oh." I flushed. That's right. No secrets. But that didn't really matter at the moment. There was something more important I had to say.

"Edward."

"Yes, love."

"Thank you."

A confused look spread across his face. "Thank you for what?"

"For that," I replied nodding towards the tub, my new favorite place in the house.

"No Bella. Thank you. I just wanted to make you feel pleasure." He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Well mission accomplished."

We climbed the stairs, hand in hand, back to his bedroom. I could have stared at him shirtless all night long. However, I stood no chance naked against his freezing body all night.

Feeling a little bit more brave, a little bit sexier, I put on a pair of the new panties Alice had got me and one of Edward's sweaters. He seemed to like the look.

We spent the rest of the night curled up on the couch. He had bought all of my favorite movies and thrown them in with the family collection. When deciding on what to watch _tonigh_t we only seemed to agree on ones that were utterly romantic and made me cry. Finally we settled for my favorite adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. And of course I cried, which Edward loved. When it was over, I was a little sleepy, but I wanted to stay close to him, awake.

I was sure to say the most embarrassing things tonight in my sleep. I couldn't help but laugh at myself.

"What's so funny, love?"

"Just thinking about what I'm going to say in my sleep tonight."

"I'm wondering that too. Are you sure you're not sleepy? I'm aching for you to doze off and just start rambling."

I frowned at him. "Yes, I'm sure. I'm not sleepy." He laughed at me. I sounded like a four year old.

"Well good. I have one more surprise for you,"

"You do too much. I don't need any more surprises. This has already been one of the most amazing nights ever."

He ignored my protest.

"Wait here." He zipped to the kitchen and was back before I could sink into his vacant spot behind me. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me back into his chest. He placed a white box filled with chocolate covered strawberries in my lap.

I looked back at him. His golden eyes were warm and open.

"Just a little extra – for your pleasure."

I turned on his lap so he could feed me one of the bigger ones. It was absolutely delicious. The chocolate was so thick and rich I could only handle two.

"We'll save the rest for tomorrow." he said, as he kissed my neck. He zipped back to the kitchen putting them back in the fridge.

When he came back he tried again to lure me to sleep, humming my lullaby.

"Nice try. Here let's watch this." I handed him Terminator 2, the deluxe edition. He rolled his eyes at me.

"What?" I feigned innocence. The gunfire and explosions were sure to keep me awake a while longer.

I was wrong.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself comfortable in Edward's bed. He held me in his arms, running his fingers through my hair. He hummed a song I'd never heard, softly. The skin on my stomach was extremely cold. My legs were still wrapped in the blanket, but the sweater had ridden up during the night and my body remained pressed to his. I had to admit, I didn't mind.

The clouds outside were thick and it continued to rain.

I lifted my head to meet his gaze. His eyes were liquid gold, mesmerizing me. He flashed me my favorite crooked smile.

"Good morning."

"Hi," I smiled back at him. "What time is it?"

"Two in the afternoon."

"What? I must have been really tired. I think you wore me out." I got up on my knees perching myself beside him.

"You can keep that sweater. I like the way it looks on you."

"I think I will. It's really comfortable. -- I'm gonna go brush me teeth."

Suddenly his hand was on my chin, directing my gaze towards him. I watched his eyes as he watched my lips and then I watched his lips as they moved closer to mine. He held me in his iron grip kissing me firmly, his lips parting.

"You taste fine to me," he purred. Utterly sexy.

"You don't taste so bad yourself – I still want to brush my teeth though."

"Fine," he groaned. "Hurry."

I jumped off the bed and rushed to the bathroom as fast as I could without slipping on the smooth floor. While I brushed, I had the odd feeling that I should talk to Edward about last night in the tub. How he'd come to the conclusion to go through with it? How did he know how to _pleasure me_ so well? And also I had the desire to relive it all by telling him how good it felt and how much I wanted him to do it again. I had all afternoon to get to it. I'd work it in at some point.

When I came back in the room, Edward had the blanket pulled back waiting to wrap me in it. I had to ask, was this going to be a full day in bed?

I climbed back up next to him. "So what are we going to do today?"

He circled his arms around my waist pulling me over to him. I decided to take advantage of these new boundaries he'd drawn the previous night. I threw my knee over his lap, straddling him. He didn't object. Instead he wrapped the blanket around my back, rubbing me softly.

"What would you like to do today, love?"

I was about to answer, but suddenly my dream came back to me. It was a very nice dream. The moon was full over head and Edward and I were together, naked on a white sandy beach. The electric feeling, that shattered my core the day before, colored the atmosphere of the dream, but this time, I was the one doing the pleasing, taking every last inch of Edward into my mouth, making him moan.

I shuddered, laughing at myself. I knew I had said something outrageous in my sleep. Edward touched my cheek softly. He hated being on the outside of my inner thoughts.

"What is it?" he asked, trying to be patient.

"What did I say in my sleep last night?"

"Why?"

"I just remembered my dream and I want to know if I told on myself."

"What was your dream about?'

"Nope. I asked you first."

He twirled a strand of my hair around his index finger. I stared at it, my core growing hot again, thinking about where that finger had been last night.

"You said you loved me of course," he teased, "And then you said I tasted good."

I buried my face in his chest giggling. "What, _did_ you tell on yourself? What was your dream?"

I lifted my head. There was no reason to be embarrassed about this. I wanted to please him just as much as he wanted to please me.

"I had a dream I was -- tasting you." My eyes drifted tellingly towards his lap. His eyes grew wide with understanding.

"I see," he said.

"I know that's not something we can do right now. I know we can't push the limits of your control too far, but I still like thinking about doing that someday."

"Well I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something I thought about too."

"Really?" Not that I objected, but this side of Edward was going to take some getting used to.

"What I mean to say is I think about it a lot – think about tasting _you_."

**Possibly one or two more chapters to come. Next chapter will definitely be in Edward's POV. **

**If you favorite me or my story please review it. I'm open to suggestions.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**EDIT AUTHOR'S NOTE: I, like my favorite author, cannot write without music. I heard this song today and it reminded me SOO much of the end of this Chapter. As you read, I'll note where I think it fits in perfectly.**_

_**Strangers On a A Train By Di Johnston**_

--

**Thank you for all the kind reviews.**

**This chapter is a little less smut, a little more romance. I'll be back to the smut in the next chapter.**

**EDWARD'S POV**

Bella made it a whole fifteen minutes into Terminator. One second she as jabbering on, her sweet voice a calming symphony to my ears, -- about the amount of work it would have taken Linda Hamilton to achieve that kind of forearm definition. But soon her head began to droop, her breathing shallow and rhythmic. I turned off the television. I had committed every camera trick, every line of dialog, every pixel of CGI, to memory the first time I saw it. I waited a few minutes more, just watching her, afraid any movement on my part may cause her to wake and then I would have to wait longer to be privy to her dreams.

She rolled over in my lap and snuggled herself closer to my frozen chest. I picked her up, keeping her wrapped in the blanket from the couch and carried her up to my bedroom.

I climbed in the bed still cradling her in my arms. I lay down, holding her carefully against my chest and shifted her legs so they were on the bed. She rolled herself again, wrapping her arms around me, pressing her cheek against my chest. When she was settled, she let out a relaxed sigh.

I looked down at her, brushing her hair out of the way and examined every inch of her face. Her beautiful eyelashes, the curve of her cheek, the smoothness of her small forehead, her soft, warm, full lips I was aching to kiss again.

I had to admit, I was a little proud of myself. I had managed to concentrate enough to touch Bella the way I wanted to, the way she had been begging me to for months. And I liked it – a lot. I had to focus my efforts again, fighting another erection while she lay there on top of me.

I had seen inside the fantasies of hundreds of women. The things that made sense, the things that disgusted me, the things that surprised me, -- the knowledge had come in very handy. Some women were, for various reasons, afraid to express their true desires to their lovers. Some embarrassed of their bodies, some afraid their wants would seem taboo. I had no idea what Bella would really like, so I tried a few different things, listening closely to the pattern of her breath, the constricting of certain muscles and the beating of her heart. And everything I offered she seemed to crave.

I allowed myself to bask in the pleasure this notion brought me. I felt so insufficient in her life, unable to provide her with warmth, with sunshine, with – children. But this I could do. I could make her moan.

And I could love her and protect her – forever.

I continued to watch her, as the minutes passed.

Then the talking began and actually continued longer into the night. I listened closely, for hints of the motivation behind the words. She said some of the usual things _Edward…I love you… Edward…forever…_ and then some not so usual things slipped out, like the forceful moan that came from her throat. Could she be dreaming about our time in the tub? I hoped so.

After a little while the tone of her dreams seemed to intensify. Subtle things about her body language changed, her grip around my body tightened, her brow contorted, but not in pain. I had only seen this look once before… in the bathtub. Her breath came rough and deep.

She moaned, _more, Edward…please, more…touch me… more. _Why was she doing this to me? I wanted to take her so badly, right this moment and make love to her, right here and right now. I wanted her to make those sounds again, louder and clearer, a response to my touch, a reaction to me being inside of her.

The next thing from her lips nearly caused my undoing. Screw the wedding.

She moaned … _You taste so good__**. **_A slight grin appeared on her soft mouth and I swear she almost licked her lips. I felt my eyes grow wide watching her mouth. There was no possible way Bella could be dreaming of that – that she would _want_ to do that. Could she possibly be thinking about pleasuring _me_ –orally?

I suddenly felt a twinge of disgust. I would never ask her to do that. There was no doubt in my mind that it would feel amazing, her mouth, her tongue wrapped around me. But I could never, ever ask her to do that. Her pleasure and her happiness were paramount among my list of priorities. I had already been too selfish, wanting to keep her as mine own, asking her to give me her life for eternity. Even though other guys, guys like Emmett, might not see fellatio as a large concession, Bella has already given too much and even something small, would be too much to ask. Her presence in my life was enough to please me for a thousand lifetimes. My sexual gratification would never be something for her to worry about. Her pleasure, her moaning in ecstasy would be gratification enough for me.

The rain and the wind continued through the night, and when her mumbling subsided she slept peacefully. And I was grateful. I hated to see her uneasy and restless. It reminded me of the things I could not do for her…but I would not dwell on that. She seemed happy now. She had agreed to marry me. How had I once doubted the level of her love for me? She was giving up her life, a chance a normal human happiness, to spend eternity with me. And she would have done it without the commitment of my hand. I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. I didn't deserve this beautiful creature.

Once I had struggled with the monster inside me. I could not touch her, get too close where I would lose control, but the monster was gone, my love her far outweighing the thirst, and now she was mine. I traced the sweet curve of her lips with my finger. They were so warm and soft to the touch.

I, too, was grateful for my family's absence when the hues of the clouds began to change. If we had been at Charlie's house I would be forced to leave to change clothes. But with her here for the next two full days I would never be forced to leave her side. I smiled at that idea, smiling wider when I remembered that in a few short weeks I would never be forced to leave her side ever again.

She continued to sleep, soundly through the morning hours. Sometime around one she shifted her position, subconsciously realizing that a small distance had grown between our bodies, she pulled herself back to me, every line of her body pressing against mine. As she moved my thin sweater, which hung perfectly on her delicate frame highlighting her perfect breasts, perking her perfect nipples as the fabric grazed their surfaces, that wonderfully perfect sweater, slid up her stomach. When she stopped squirming, the hem rested just below her bust line, exposing her stomach against my bare torso.

I was surprised at Bella's choice of outfit. I expected her to pull on her sweats and comfy t-shirt. Perhaps still riding some sort of high, she picked out a pair of her new panties, black lace, and one of my thinner dark grey sweaters. I tried to keep my expression calm as I watched her dress, leaving her legs completely bare. I, for a brief moment, cursed my cold hands, wanting to run my fingers the length of her legs all night long. And then I again, my hands weren't all bad. They accomplished a great deal in the past few hours.

I wrestled with the idea of pulling it back down for her, but her warm skin felt so good against mine. I watched her body carefully, looking for signs that she was cold or uncomfortable, but there were no goose bumps, she did not shiver. She signed and hugged me tighter.

An hour later, she woke.

She stretched and yawned, looking up at me, love in her eyes.

"Good morning." I smiled down at her. I wanted to kiss those lips.

"Hi," she sighed. "What time is it?

"Two in the afternoon." I told her.

"What? I must have been really tired. I think you wore me out." She pulled away from me, propping herself up on her knees. She didn't at all seem to notice how cold her stomach was. I took a moment to gaze at that sweater -- that marvelous, marvelous sweater. I yearned to reach out and stroke her nipples with my fingers through the thin fabric.

"You can keep that sweater. I like the way it looks on you." I said, trying to control my enthusiasm.

"I think I will. It's really comfortable. -- I'm gonna go brush me teeth."

Oh no, she wasn't. I had waited nearly 15 hours to kiss her again. I wouldn't wait a minute more. No amount of self-conscious, human need was going to keep that kiss from me.

I gently grabbed her chin and pulled her face to mine. I held her there until I was done kissing her, until I had gotten a taste, parting my lips.

"You taste fine to me," I told her honestly. She tasted more than fine, she tasted fantastic.

"You don't taste so bad yourself – I still want to brush my teeth though, " she said slyly. She was so unbelievably sexy, especially in that sweater.

"Fine," I groaned. "Hurry."

She hopped off the bed and scurried to the bathroom. I half expected her to fall once she hit the hard wood floor of the hallway, but she kept her footing.

I was glad she was awake. I had this bizarre, shameless urge to talk to her about last night. From her sleep moaning it seemed she had enjoyed it, but I wanted to know for sure. Not for my own ego, but if it was something she would be interested in doing again, I could perfect my technique. I wanted to please her as much as I could.

I also wanted to ask her about her dream.

That would be tricky. I wouldn't dare tell her the whole truth about everything she said. She always asked. But I didn't want embarrass her and risk discouraging her from telling me the whole story.

When I heard her coming back down the hall, I moved the covers out of the way so I could wrap her back in them and hold her to me. Although I was glad she was awake, I could definitely stand a few more hours in bed with her.

She crawled back onto the bed. "So what are we going to do today?"

I wrapped my arms around her pulling her body closer to me. She swung one knee over my lap, settling herself on top of me. I struggled to keep my composure and wrapped the blanket around her and softly rubbed her back. I had thrown on a pair of flannel pajama pants Alice had given me for Christmas, more so a present for Bella. I could feel the warmth of her thighs and the pulsing of her delicious center through the material.

"What would you like to do today, love?"

She looked as if she was about to answer, then stopped, a small laugh coming out of her. Her cheeks tainted pink and I couldn't resist the urge to touch them with my fingers tips. What was she laughing about? What had my simple question sparked in her?

"What is it?' I asked. My tone betrayed my frustration. Oh why couldn't I read her thoughts?

"What did I say in my sleep last night?" She asked flat out.

"Why?" I didn't want to tell her without her giving up some information first.

"I just remembered my dream and I want to know if I told on myself."

"What was your dream about?" I asked.

"Nope. I asked you first." Just like Bella, forever stubborn. I twirled my finger around a strand of her hair. I loved the mahogany color against her skin.

"You said you loved me of course," I smirked "And then—," I paused a little bit for affect, "-- you said I _tasted_ good."

Her face flashed bright pink and she giggled, hiding her face against my chest.

Now I was extremely curious. "What? _Did_ you tell on yourself? What was your dream?"

I waited for her to answer.

"I had a dream I was -- tasting _you_." Her eyes drifted down to my lap. My eyes grew wide as I began to understand what she was saying. She _had_ dreamt about pleasuring me in that fashion. Why would she want to do that? Not that I would hate it.

"I see," I said.

"I know that's not something we can do right now. I know we can't push the limits of your control too far, but I still like thinking about doing that someday." She told me.

"Well I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something I thought about too."

In truth, I had wanted to do to the same to her. More than a few times, I had thought about what it would be like to go down on her. To taste the sweet juices from inside her, ones I had gotten whiffs of any time we kissed too passionately. I had tasted her blood and nothing could stand in comparison, but the undiluted scent wafting, now in my direction from in between her legs, was the strongest, sweetest thing I had ever smelled. Stronger than her everyday sweet smell that drove me wild, sweeter than her blood that had almost made an animal out of me.

Last night her scent had been tainted by the water, the candles and the bubble bath. But now inches away, it hit me full force. With the intensity that had once made me want to feed, the smell of her moist center made me want to lick, to suckle, to taste, until there was no more.

"Really?" She said with genuine surprise. I think she thought I meant something else. That I had thought about _her_ going down on _me_.

"What I mean to say is I think about it a lot – think about tasting _you_." I had to clarify.

She bit her lip, looking down.

"I'm sorry, love. I shouldn't have said that. I was out of line."

Her head snapped up and she had a small smile on her face. She pushed my shoulder playfully.

"No it wasn't out of line. I want know what you want and what you think. It's important to me, even if I turn blush like crazy. I want to know." She was so lovely.

"Well that's the truth. I have thought about kissing you and tasting you down there," I imitated her gesture down to _her_ lap.

We both sat there for a moment in silence. I wondered what she was thinking. I still had questions to ask, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. She wanted to know what I am thinking, but she rarely wanted me to know what was on her mind.

Luckily she spoke first.

"I was wondering about last night--," she started.

I held my breath, my mind racing. There were so many different things she could say.

"Well I was wondering, how did you --," She took a deep breath.

I pressed my hand to her cheek in an attempt to sooth her. "Say what's on you mind, love." She nuzzled her face into my palm.

"I was wondering where you learned how to do all that? I mean you were so good." I dropped my hand, down to hers. She picked it up and began tracing the lines in my palm.

"Really? You enjoyed it? I was afraid, maybe I put to much pressure on you to let me touch you like that." She stopped playing with my hand and looked up at with her gorgeous brown eyes.

"Edward, you did no such thing. I would have paid for you to touch me like that if I'd thought you would actually do it." She paused looking down at our hands. When she spoke again, her voice was soft and sincere.

"That was the first time I've ever had an orgasm. I didn't know it was felt that amazing, which is good for you, I think. I would have attacked you a long time ago if I knew you could make me feel that good. Physically, I mean." She looked me straight in the eye. I knew she wasn't trying to protect my feelings. She gazed back down and continued to stroke my hand.

I had never even considered this. Like any normal teenage boy, I had brought myself to orgasm, but only as a mortal. I vaguely remembered the way it felt and the shame I had felt afterwards. But those types of emotions, wrapped up insignificant human memories, did not carry on the same affect into immortality. I had never, for a second, thought that Bella had never felt the sensation of an orgasm, but I had also never thought that she had. I simply never considered it.

I looked down at our hands between us. "You've never pleasured yourself, sweetheart?"

"I've thought about it, but I didn't really know how." She said bashfully.

The idea of her touching herself thrilled me to no end, but I had been the first to touch her body in that way and that thrilled me even more. I was at a loss for words. What had transpired the night before had taken on a whole new meaning.

"But how did _you know_?" I could see the ideas churning in her head, had I been completely truthful, she could be wondering.

"The same way I know a lot of other things. I pluck the ideas from other people's heads. You'd be surprised how much people think about sex when they are just walking around."

I stared at her mouth as she bit her lip. Maybe she wasn't so surprised.

"Well I guess that's better than actual experience. I would hate to think that someone else had gotten to you before me."

I couldn't take my eyes off her mouth. I leaned forward slightly and she picked up on my intention, meeting me half way. I fought the rising erection with all my might, as her panties grew warmer and wetter against my lap. I pulled away. There was something I wanted to know.

"Was there anything you didn't like? I just want to know so I don't do it again."

"Well, I mean it was all pretty amazing, but there was one part in particular I really liked." She breathed.

"And what part was that, love?" I would do it over and over again, just to make her happy. She leaned forward wrapping her arms around my neck, placing her head on my shoulder. I ran my fingers through her hair.

"I really liked it when you licked my nipples. It's your mouth. It felt so good," she whispered. She was being so open, so honest.

I told her, "That was my favorite part… other than the end that is. They taste very good, you know." I had always been partial to Bella's neck and collar bone. Loved to touch and caress that part of her body, but after last night, her breasts, specifically her perfect nipples, the color of pink rose petals, had found a special place in my frozen heart. I had to restrain myself from touching them again, right now.

"I'm glad you think so. -- are we staying in bed today?"

"Would you like to?"

Right then her stomach growled.

"Well that decision's been made." She laughed.

We walked down stairs and she watched me thoughtfully, while I made her a late breakfast. Belgian waffles.

Afterwards, she went upstairs to take a shower. She asked me to join her, but I had to pace myself. There were only so many erections I could quash in one day.

"I'll be waiting right here," I told her.

I waited until the water was going to run upstairs and change. Just before I headed back downstairs, my cell phone rang.

It was Alice.

I flipped my phone open. "Alice, is everything okay?" They never called to check on me, so something must have happened or something must be coming and Alice had to warn me.

"Oh Edward, stop being so dramatic. Everything's fine. I just wanted to tell you that it didn't rain over the meadow last night, you know, just in case you two were looking for something to do tonight." Alice told me.

"Thanks. I'll take that into consideration."

"Okay, bye!" She said brightly.

The rain near our home was coming to a stop and the temperature had dropped during the course of the day, but maybe if I brought some blankets and …

I'd ask Bella, now. It would be pointless for her to slip back into her pajamas, hopefully that sweater, and then have to get changed all over again to go out.

I was pathetic. Had I really just talked myself into going into the bathroom to talk to Bella?

Before I finished the thought, I was at the bathroom door, knocking. Bella jumped. I could hear her gasp and her heartbeat accelerate.

I chuckled silently. I shouldn't have done that.

"Bella," I said gently into the door.

"Come in," she said, her pulse starting to slow.

I opened the door slowly and walked towards the shower. I could hear just fine, but I would have to yell for her to hear me over the running water. I walked closer so I wouldn't have to raise my voice. I gazed at her luscious curves through the opaque glass. She was rinsing her hair. Soapy, warm water ran down her breasts and her backside.

"Did you do this?"

She pulled back the glass sliding door, holding out a bottle of honey suckle shampoo. I tried to focus on the bottle and not her breasts.

"That depends. Do you like it?"

"I do. It smells better than my regular shampoo."

"Well I'd like to say I did, but I think that was Esme again."

"I'll have to thank her."

I had to get to the point before I found myself naked in the shower, caressing every inch of her body.

"So what would you say to a trip to the meadow?"

"Tonight?"

"We can stay here if you like. Alice just called and told me it didn't rain in that area. Maybe we could take a walk out there and enjoy the stars."

"Yeah, let's walk out there," she said sarcastically, "No, that would be fun. Let's do that." She smiled at me.

"Excellent. I'll be downstairs." I turned to leave.

"Edward..." When I turned back to her, she had the most deliciously devilish grin on her face. "Come here a sec," she said lightly. I walked back over to her. She reached out with a wet hand and gripped my shirt. I couldn't miss this opportunity to tease her just a little bit. I allowed her to pull me forward until our faces were an inch apart. I held myself there, speaking against her lips.

"I think you may have had enough for today, Miss Swan. Like you said, baby steps."

She released my shirt and quickly turned back around, her perfect backside facing me. She glanced over her shoulder. "Fine. I'll see you downstairs."

I chuckled, the sliding the glass door back into place.

We took the jeep out to the trail and I ran the rest of the way. Bella was strong enough to carry a large pack with a few blankets and some other necessities. I carried her on my back.

When we reached the meadow I set Bella down at the edge of the trees and took the pack from her.

"Stay here, okay."

"Okay," She whispered. It was amazingly quiet out here.

I dropped the pack and quickly set about clearing a small area of grass on the far side of the meadow, ripping up all the dry brush. I collected an assortment of fairly large rocks from the forest floor placing them in a circle. And finally I gathered a several armfuls of dry branches, throwing them in the center. I pulled a lighter from the pack and lit a small fire.

I carried Bella back to the fire and pulled out two thick blankets wrapping her in them. We sat on the ground, her resting between my legs, looking up at the stars. The cloudless sky was brilliant. I could have sat here with her, in silence all night.

"Are you warm enough?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Yes, I'm actually quite warm." She replied.

I swept her hair over her shoulder and began to run the tip of my nose down and around her exposed neck. She leaned her head to the side, giving me better access.

**INSERT SONG HERE**

"What are you thinking?" I asked quietly.

"I'm thinking about you. What are you thinking about?" She sighed.

I ignored her follow up question. "What about me?"

"You're gonna think I have a one track mind." She insisted.

"Bella, I _know _you have a one track mind."

"Well I was thinking about you and… I can't say it." She buried her face in the blankets. I could see her neck flash to pink in the firelight.

"Bella, please tell me." I begged.

"Just thinking more about you and my nipples and your mouth."

"Again? Geez Bella." I nuzzled her neck gently. "I told you I am actually quite fond of your nipples. They looked rather appealing in my sweater. I wanted to touch them all day long."

"I see. What were you thinking about?" She asked.

"Your nipples and my sweater."

"And I thought I had one track mid." She smiled.

We sat there for a few hours, Bella switching positions to warm herself against the fire. I hated that I could not be the one to warm her, but it was still nice just to be alone with her, to hear her laugh, to see her smile, interruption free.

We talked about a lot of things, the wedding, her dress and her fear of ruining it. She pressed for more information about the honeymoon, the location of which I was keeping a secret.

Nights like tonight, Bella wrapped in blankets, a fire blazing to not only protect her from the elements, but from my cold body had sparked inspiration in me.

Several years ago, Carlisle had bought Esme her own island off the coast of Brazil. On it, he'd built a lovely, three bedroom home, right on the front of a secluded beach. The island was so far from the mainland that it was perfectly safe for our kind to walk around in the sun. I had only been there once, but I remember the temperature being astronomically high, the water surrounding the island extremely warm. Were I to send Bella to the island by herself, she would find the heat unbearable, but if her husband were to accompany her, if her husband with his icy skin were to hold her in that extreme heat, she might be quite comfortable. For at least a little while, I would know that my body next to hers, just holding her, would bring Bella some relief. Esme eagerly offered the place to us for as many days as we wished to stay.

"Just give me one hint." She pleaded.

"No." Bella was facing me now, warming her back to the fire. Her legs wrapped around my waist. "You'll find out when we get there."

"How will I know what to bring?"

"Love, don't worry about it. Everything will be in order."

"Not even a hint?"

"Bella, I'll be there and you'll be there and that's all you need to know."

"Fine," She huffed. She lightened her tone and continued. "Tell me what you're looking forward to the most – afterwards." Always curious.

"After the wedding or after -?" I asked. I was still so fully opposed to Bella becoming an immortal that I tried not to think about it. I had no specific desires for that time.

"Either," she shrugged and rested her head rested on my shoulder.

"After the wedding, I'm looking forward to never having to be apart from you again. And after you become one of us –," I teased ominously, "well, I'm not sure. I look forward to not having to spend forever alone. Plus I'll finally have someone with me to go up against Rosalie and Emmett in chicken." I added.

She laughed softly.

"What about you? Anything in particular you're looking forward to? I asked.

"Same as you. I can't wait to be with you forever. And-"

I knew what she really wanted to say. She couldn't wait until I would sleep with her. "I can't wait to run with you."

I pulled back quickly to look her in the eye, confused and disbelieving. She looked at me cautiously.

"What? Is that bad?" She asked. I could tell my initial expression had hurt her feelings.

"No, What did you just say?" I shook my head.

"I said I can't wait to run with you. When I'm a vampire you wont have to carry me anymore. We can run together." She looked down at my chest, chewing the inside of her lip. "I'm really looking forward to that." She whispered.

I felt like I should cry. I would never understand why she wanted to be with me so bad. Before her I was nothing, less than nothing. I was a monster, a murderer. There were no redeeming qualities. She had made me the man I am. She was the one who brought this love and this affection out of me. And here she was thinking that she was holding me back. She didn't understand that I didn't want her to become what I was, that I would do anything to be human with her, we could run at her pace. Did she really love me that much? I still couldn't fully comprehend it, but whether I could understand it was there, right in front of me, by the fireside, under the stars. Bella wanted, more than anything in this world, the same thing I wanted. She wanted to be with me, forever. Marriage or no marriage, she really wanted to be with me, by my side for eternity. Soul mates, partners, equals and lovers. I did not deserve her.

I picked her chin up gently with my finger and looked deep into her eyes. She wanted to hear me say it. I could see it there, she was hoping that truly I loved her as much as I said I did, that no matter the cost, I wanted her forever.

I smiled warmly down at her and instantly her expression began to change, a hint of a hopeful smile.

"Miss Swan, I cannot wait to run with you." I bent my face to hers, kissing her gently and slowly. I could feel the smile tugging at her lips as we kissed. She was happy.

I pulled away and kissed her softly once more on her forehead. She sighed and nuzzled her cheek against my neck.

"Are you enjoying your weekend, sweetheart? Are you feeling like you've been able to really relax?" I asked after a few minutes of perfect silence.

"Yes, I do. I love being here with you." She said sincerely.

"I do too, love. Let me ask you. I wanted to make this the most enjoyable weekend for you as possible. There are some things I'd still like to do for you, before my family comes back, but tonight, is there anything specifically you'd like to do?"

She lifted her head again, looking down at my lips. She ran her finger along the collar of my shirt.

"Well, there's a few things we can do and a few things we can't and a few things I not sure if we can do or not."

"Why don't you tell me and we can see?" I would try and give her anything she wanted, anything to see her smile.

" I don't want to," She smirked.

"Why not?" I asked, puzzled.

"Last night I didn't tell you anything and you did everything I wanted and more. I want see what else you have in mind."

I gently tucked her hair behind her ear. I couldn't argue with that. I did say this weekend was about me pleasing her. Her telling me what she wanted would only highlight a lack of creativity on my part. I had plans and I would go through with them. Most of them involved the massage oils and then-- that sweater.

**The next chapter may be a Bella/Edward POV of mix and I think the final chapter.**

**If you favorite me or my story, please review it. Thank you so much for all the reviews so far.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much to Stephenie Meyer for these amazing characters and this amazing universe we can all play in until the movie comes out...**

**Soooo... A few reviewers have made some requests. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. A little romance, a little smut. ENJOY!!**

**Bella's POV**

As a little girl, I always figured I would end up with someone. Or maybe I wouldn't. I never really gave it much thought. Boys weren't into me and I wasn't sure enough of myself to know exactly whether or not I was the type of girl who needed a man or wanted a family. I certainly never had dreams of my own sort of romance. Women like Elizabeth Bennett lived in that type of world, where am man rode in on his white horse or his impeccable character and good looks and swept you off your feet, carrying you into a happily ever after. I never imagined that type of life. Until I met Edward.

Last night in the bathtub, exceeded anything I ever thought possible. Having Edward exist, in and of itself never felt completely real. But that he would set aside his own wants and desires to please me, to make me happy, to make me feel the way I was feeling right now, made me think I should truly pinch myself. And right now I was feeling completely and absolutely in love.

Could he really be that amazing? And as if to further confirm my suspicions, he took me to the meadow… at night, for a more romantic night then I ever thought possible, star gazing fireside. We talked honestly and openly. He held me and kissed me just right. It was beyond perfect. I was still half expecting to wake up. I didn't care what the rest of the weekend held, because I had this night to keep in my memory and my heart forever.

The trip back to the Jeep was quick as usual. Edward kept me wrapped in the blanket as he hitched me up on to his marble back. Everything but my cheeks stayed rather warm.

"Are you hungry, love?" he asked as he set me down gently by the passenger door.

I was a little hungry, but I didn't want Edward to go out of his way to cook for me again. Not tonight.

"A little," I said. He threw the pack in the jeep and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"What would you like to eat?" His voice was husky still from the run. He reached up with his wintry touch to smooth a piece of windblown hair away from my face.

I smiled up at him. "You have any peanut butter and jelly at the house?"

"Actually we don't. Perhaps I should I have stocked up on some of the basics," he chuckled lightly. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He must of known the time, but maybe he just wanted me to know for sure as well. It was a little before ten. "I'm sure the market is closed, but maybe the gas station has some." The idea of Edward stopping to get pb and j from the gas station was down right hilarious to me. So human, so normal.

"But what if we run into a cop or Charlie? You're supposed to be out of town remember?"

"Hmmmm," he mused. "I think we'll be okay. You'd be surprise how few people are out this time of night." I supposed he would know. He helped me back into the Jeep and buckled me in. I couldn't wait for the day when my nimble fingers would be able to handle the off road harness or when my body was as such that I wouldn't even need it.

As he finished, he pushed my hair back away from my neck and I caught a whiff of the campfire smell in my hair. My nose scrunched up and Edward froze.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh nothing. I just need to get the burnt wood smell out of my hair. I like it, but I wont want to smell like it tomorrow morning, or get the smell all over the bed." His eyes smoldered a little when I said _all over the bed_. My stomach tightened a little at the sight. Was Edward getting excited? Before I could really come up with an answer his lips were on mine, his hands on either side of my face, tilting my head to his. I liked this kiss a lot. It reminded me of times when he wasn't as cautious and truly he wasn't anymore. He was really committed to his whole physical pleasure plan, but just like Edward he pulled away when I threw myself a little too enthusiastically into the kiss. Okay the kiss wasn't why he pulled back. With his hands on face, me seated high in the jeep, him standing on the ground next to me, I reached down and ran my fingers over the bulge in his pants. I couldn't help myself. I knew I shouldn't have, but the images from last night dream still danced in my head. I wanted to feel him, to stroke him, to taste him, and this kiss -- this amazing kiss, forced all those urges to bubble to the surface.

He let out a small grunt when he pulled away. His eyes were on fire, jaw clenched. For a moment he looked like a vampire. He wasn't kidding about issues of control.

He took several deep breaths before he released my face. I instantly felt terrible.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I whispered, ducking my head. Guilt pushed tears to the edges of my eyelids. How could I be so selfish.

He looked down, nostrils flaring, as he slowly closed my door, walked to the other side of the Jeep and got in. Crap. I'd ruined the whole weekend.

He sat in silence for a moment before starting the engine. We drove all the way to the Exxon in silence. I was afraid to look at him directly. His jaw was still tight, but as we got closer, it slowly released, a small grin tugging at the corner of his gorgeous lips.

When we parked in one of four available parking spaces, he finally spoke.

"Do you think you'll be able to control yourself for the rest of the night?" he smirked at me. He wasn't angry anymore.

"No," I told him truthfully. How could I possibly agree to not wanting to ravage him. "But I'll try."

"I guess that'll have to do. I have plans for you still and I'd hate to have to take you home early cause you can't handle it." He turned to me and flashed me my favorite crooked grin. My stomach did a back flip as I could feel my cheek redden.

"I'll behave," I promised.

"Good." He quickly undid my restraints and walked at a normal human pace around to my side. The gas station attendant was watching him.

He took my hand and led me inside. I recognized a few kids who had graduated a year before us, browsing the beer. I wondered who would risk a fake ID in this small town. One of them saw Edward and I and nodded in our direction, getting the others attention. Edward didn't notice. I wondered, too how many people knew we were engaged.

Edward led me over to the small isle between automotive and junk food that had a few shelves of regular groceries. I was relieved that they had just recently restocked. It was never uncommon to come across a ten year old bottle of mustard in places like this.

"Crunchy or smooth," Edward asked raising an eyebrow.

"Smooth, definitely." I said feigning a stern expression. He handed me the small jar.

"Strawberry or Grape?" I was a little amazed that they actually had the selection.

"Strawberry, duh." I smiled up at him. He pursed his lips at me sarcastically, taking my hand. They had two kinds of bread mashed in between the hamburger and hot dog buns. I chose the wheat.

When we went to the counter, Edward paid. I looked at his face as it appeared he was purposefully avoiding eye contact with the attendant. When Edward's jaw tightened slightly, I wondered what the man behind the counter could have been thinking.

When we got back in the Jeep, Edward anticipated my curiosity. "He was wondering what it must be like to sleep with the police chief's daughter."

I shuddered. Gross.

Edward turned to me and smiled devilishly. "Good thing I'm the only one who'll ever actually find out." He leaned over and kissed me deeply, his tongue gently exploring the inside of my mouth. I let out a small moan. Good thing I was already in the restraints.

He released me and kissed my once more softly on the lips. When I looked up the attendant and the other kids were staring at us through the window, jaws hanging to the floor.

I blushed furiously as I giggled, looking down. "You are such a jerk."

He smiled, backing out of the space. "I know."

When we got back to the house, he insisted on making my sandwich for me and fed me two more of the chocolate covered strawberries. They were more delicious than the night before.

I stood planting myself between his legs as he was still perched on his kitchen stool. I could get used to being between Edward's legs.

"So what are these plans of yours?" I rested chin on his chest, looking up. He kissed me once on the forehead.

"Well first I think you should shower, if you want to get fire smell out of your hair that is," he said.

"Would it be silly to ask you to join me?"

"Yes," he chuckled.

"Will you come talk to me in the bathroom? I don't like being away from you. You can face the wall, if that'll help" I added.

"I think that'll be okay. Why don't you get in and I'll be right there. I just want to clean up your fancy dinner." I knew he wanted to waste time so he wouldn't see me undress. Arggg!

"Okay," I whined. Part of me wanted to slowly take my clothes off in front of Edward, just see his eyes smolder again. Why was I constantly trying to test him. I marched up the stairs sulking.

There was no way I could have heard him, but suddenly Edward swooped me up into his arms, before I reached the top of the first flight of stairs. He flew me into Carlisle and Esme's bathroom and placed me gently on my feet.

When I stopped having a heart attack I looked up him, glaring at his casual expression.

"Sandwiches are amazingly easy to clean up after."

"I bet," I said. I looked around. Was he going to stay?

"Do you need some help?" he inquired innocently.

"Help with what?" I asked. He leaned forward and put his lips to my ear.

"Getting undressed," he whispered. He wasn't playing fair and I told him so. "I know, but my weekend, my rules. But I can leave if you want." He turned to leave.

"No," I almost shouted. "Stay."

"Okay," he laughed. "Well please, as you were."

"I may actually need some help," I said, trying to be sexy. I probably looked like an idiot. I know I felt like one. Sexy did not exactly come naturally to me.

"That's what I thought," he said smirking down at me, shaking his head. "One track mind."

He reached up and his hands lingered on my collar bone before he slowly began to unzip the light fleece jacket I had on. I couldn't help but close my eyes.

"You don't want to watch?" he asked seductively. I opened my eyes and he was fighting back a smile. He hung my jacket on the hook behind the door.

He came towards me and taking my hand, led me to the edge of the tub.

"Have a seat please," he said quietly. I did as I was told, watching him intently. He took off my shoes and slowly pulled off my socks, his fingertips linger on each ankle.

"You have such cute toes," his crooked smile beamed up at me.

"Thanks," I chuckled.

He took my hand again and pulled me to my feet. I looked at his hands as they slowly traced the edge of my jeans. He drew a small line around my stomach with his fingertip. I couldn't help but shiver. He didn't stop. He was catching on. He knew what that type of shiver meant this time.

"My I?" he purred, looking up at me through his dark lashes. His golden eyes were liquid pools. Not that he needed to, but it was becoming increasingly sexy when he asked permission. For a fraction of a second I thought how much sexier it would be if he didn't ask at all, if he just took.

"Mmmhmm," was all I said.

He slowly unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down, kneeling in front of me. I carefully stepped out of them and watched Edward placed them on the edge of the tub.

I'd wished I put on some of the lace panties, but I grabbed a new pair of white cotton ones. And then when I thought this couldn't get much better he did the sexiest thing. I would have been a little self-conscious if it hadn't turned me on so much. Edward gently placed his hands on my hips and brought my body closer to his face. His nose gently pressed against the fabric of my panties in between my legs. He inhaled deeply as the tip slowly ran the length of what was available to him. My mouth fell open and I inhaled a stuttered breath. The pressure pushed my lips perfectly up against my clit, which throbbed with excitement. I almost fell over.

He pulled back slightly and my eyes snapped open wide and I stared down at him. He looked back up at me with a small grin. I was speechless.

He stood and slowly pushed the collar of my t-shirt aside.

"How attached are you to this bra?" he asked eying the strap.

"Not very," I replied lightly. I was still a little light headed from the whole nose in panties ordeal.

Edward did something, quickly, lightly brushing both my shoulders. I looked at him curiously. Everything felt the same, looked the same. What did he just do?

My eyes were glued on his fingers as his hands found their way back to my waist. He ran them up my sides, under my shirt, up around my back. His hands felt so strong as the caressed my ribs. He slowly undid the clasp of my bra. I could barely breathe. His sweet scent surrounded me as he crept closer, our bodies inches apart.

I looked to my feet quickly as my bra dropped to the floor. He'd ripped the straps at the shoulders. I looked back up at him shaking my head in disbelief.

"I'll buy you another one," he promised, his voice low and husky. I didn't care. I'd never wear a bra again if it suited him.

Edward, I think was getting some sort of messed up kick out of turning me on. He said it was for my pleasure and my benefit but I was having a hard time believing him especially after what he said about my nipples in his sweater. My nipples were very fond of Edward as well. When he pulled his hands about from under my shirt, my brain had completely stopped working. He had to know he had that affect on me or at least I knew he could her my heart beating erratically in anticipation.

My nipples were already a little hard, when Edward casually dropped one hand to his side, the other he lifted and gently grazed my nipple through the shirt. He tilted his head at a peculiar angle, his butterscotch eyes smoldered with curiosity as he watched my nipple react to his touch. "Hmmmm," he breathed. All I could do was blink. I think my mouth was hanging open.

"Arms up," he commanded. I lifted my arms and Edward pulled my shirt up over my head and then quickly pulled down my panties so I could step out of them.

I had been showering in Alice's familiar bathroom every time I spent the night here. The shower in Esme's bath was nearly twice the size, with a large glass door that opened out into the bathroom. Unlike the glass of Alice's shower that was slightly foggy, this glass was perfectly see through. It had two shower heads, facing each other. I silently cursed the fact that on this particular night there would be no need for the additional shower head.

He motioned towards the shower. I slowly walked over and turned the water on. Edward took a seat on the edge of the tub and just watched me as I turned the nozzle closest to me.

"For some reason I figured Alice would have the biggest bathroom," I commented, a stupid attempt to pretend my core wasn't aching to have him in the shower with me.

"She wouldn't want you to believe that anyone could out do her." I turned to see him gazing at my rear end, his head tilted to the side again. He smiled gently. My stomach jumped.

I ran my hand under the faucet. It was the perfect temperature so I climbed in. Edward stayed with me the whole time. Talking to me about random things and not so random things. Stupid things Emmett said, the next time we planned on my meeting with Mr. Weber to discuss our vows. I couldn't help but smile a little thinking about it… our vows. When I finished Edward was waiting for me with a big fluffy towel, my new bathrobe draped over his arm.

When I was dry and snug, he leaned forward, running his nose along the side of my neck. He whispered, "Why don't you head on up to my room? I'll be up in a moment."

I pulled back a little looking up at him. "You're not coming with me?"

"I have to wash the smell out of my hair, too." He traced my cheek. I couldn't hold the disappointment from bubbly over into my expression.

"Okay," I said. I turned and walked to the door. I supposed I could blow dry my hair and slip back into my pj's. That would kill a little time.

"Bella—"

I turned to meet his liquid gaze.

"Don't get dressed."

I gulped and nodded. I quickly walked out of the bathroom. I swear I heard him chuckle.

I sat on Edward's couch for a moment. Just looking around at what would be my bedroom for the weeks before we skipped town after the change. I wondered how long it would take me to learn the titles of all the cds that carefully lined the walls or where I was going to put my clothes. I smiled to myself thinking of my bra, in pieces still on the bathroom floor.

I started to grow impatient. Edward rarely took his time with anything he did alone, always rushing to be back at my side. Maybe I could text Alice in the meantime, find out how the trip was going. Maybe ask her to pick me up a new bra.

"Crap," I whispered aloud. My cell phone was in the bathroom. It was hanging behind the door in my fleece. I could just reach my hand around the door and grab it without disturbing Edward. I wouldn't even peek. I'd just grab my phone.

I quickly skipped down the stairs and into Carlisle and Esme's bedroom. There was no way Edward couldn't sense me approaching. If there was something he didn't want me to see or do, his reflexes were more than fast enough to stop me. I struggled to keep images of Edward's naked body out of my head.

I could hear the shower running still, so I knew I wouldn't disturb him, just reach my hand around the door and grab the phone. Easy.

I cracked open the door and Edward didn't acknowledge my presence. I felt the pocket of my fleece and reached for the phone, which, so typical of my all star fingers, slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor.

"Crap," I whispered again exasperated. "Sorry, Edward. I just wanted to grab my phone. I promise I wont look." I said trying to keep my gaze on the floor.

"It's okay, love," he said sweetly. I got down on all fours, unnecessarily dramatic in retrospect. I poked my head through the door scanning the floor for the phone. It was a foot away, next to my bra and Edward's boxers. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I crawled over to it.

I swear I didn't mean to look, but I felt Edward's eyes on me. I'm just always so responsive to him I couldn't help but look up.

Edward was leaning forward, his head resting on his forearm, his legs staggered just so. His body was glistening, water running off every inch of him, the warmth creating a little bit of steam on his cold skin. Had I missed that last night in the warm water of the bath? Probably, but that wasn't the most importantly thing on my mind right now.

Edward was fully erect. I'd felt him graze against me the night before and I had tucked away the notion that he was certainly not lacking in that department, not that I ever thought he actually was. He was perfect, perfectly long and thick, every last inch of him. I silently recognized that his was the first I'd ever seen. Could they all be this perfect?

As I let out an incredibly embarrassing audible gasp, Edward chuckled. My head snapped up and I met his gaze. He was smiling down at me there on all fours, teasingly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I apologized, scrambling to my feet. I almost cracked my forehead on the edge of the door as I ran out.

I nearly hid in Alice's closet until the embarrassment subsided. Instead I sprinted back to Edward's room and perched on the couch pulling my knees to my chest. I couldn't believe I ogled him like that. Not that I didn't like what I saw, but I just felt like such a perv staring at his erection with my mouth wide open.

A few moments later, there was knock at the door. I couldn't speak. I buried my face in my knees. I heard the door open and close quietly. Suddenly Edward was kneeling in front of me stroking my damp hair. I peeked up at him.

"I'm sorry. I swear I wasn't trying… I just wanted to text Alice," I scrambled to explain.

"Sweetheart, I know. It's fine, really. I've seen you. It's only fair that you've seen me too. Now, are you ready for bed or do you think you could stay up a little longer?"

I lifted my head a little to see the bottle of massage oil Edward held in his free hand. I nodded silently. I was able to catch a glimpse of what he was wearing. He had on those adorable flannel sleep pants and a tight black wife beater. It looked great against his skin, emphasizing the muscles in his chest and his perfectly chiseled abs.

"I was thinking you might enjoy a massage," he said lightly.

"I would," I whispered.

Edward pulled me to my feet and slowly pulled my robe off my shoulders, kissing down my neck and along my collar bone.

"I love you," he breathed against my skin. Of their own accord my arms wrapped around his neck and I hugged him tight. I sighed at the relief of his instant forgiveness. I got to keep this man forever.

"I love you, too."

He led me over to the bed and instructed me to lay down on my stomach. He turned the lights off and my eyes adjusted quickly to the faint moonlight coming through the large windows. I quickly remembered he didn't need any light to see me clearly.

Then his hands were on me. I could smell the faint scent of the massage oil. Honeysuckle again. Strawberry was slowly taking a back seat.

My core tightened as he gently caressed my left foot. He took it in both hands and rubbed circles around, kneading the ball of my foot. It felt amazing. It's strange how you never notice how badly you need something until your undead boyfriend has his hands on your eager body.

After paying loving attention to my left foot he switched to my right, then to my calves. I left out a small gasp as he moved to my thighs, one hand on each. He'd climbed onto the bed to straddling me for a better angle. His hands were cool, but I could barely tell, my body was on fire. He rubbed smooth circles, massaging the muscles. Slowly his hands moved to my cheeks, rubbing them with a little more pressure.

I held my breath as he moved one hand delicately in between my legs. By this point I was well aware and I'm sure he could at minimum, smell, that I was little laying in a small pool of my own wetness. His cool finger easily found the moisture and he slowly spread it around on the inside of my thighs. A small moan escaped my lips.

Without spreading my legs he slid one cold finger inside me. It felt amazing. My body clenched around his finger in response. He gently slid it out and continued my massaging my cheek.

He continued up my back in this fashion, applying small kisses to my neck as he worked on shoulders and my scalp. He was truly talented with his hands. I had never imagined I could feel so relaxed and so aroused at the same time. My body felt fantastic, every muscle at rest, all but one. The muscles between my legs throbbed and ached. I needed to feel Edward, some part of Edward inside of me.

He finished with one small kiss behind my ear and climbed off the bed.

"Thank you, sweetheart. That was amazing," I said softly. Edward expression was unreadable as he looked down at his hands,

"Roll over," he commanded in a low voice. I obeyed without hesitation. His hands were on my breasts now, cupping and massaging. My head fell back and my body arched up. Seeming to know what I wanted Edward leaned forward, bringing his wintry lips to my erect nipple. He kissed and suckled, making me moan, his other hand gently rubbing my stomach.

He lifted his head and brought his lips to mine. I kissed him back feverishly. He was everything I could ever want and everything I could ever need.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself up sitting on the bed, then swung my legs around off the edge, so I was facing him. It was amazing the desire building inside me allowed me to gracefully propel my body around without getting tangled in the sheets. My body clearly had a mind of its own.

Still kissing Edward I gently pushed him back. He took a step backwards, giving me room to slide off the bed in front of him. I stared into his eyes as I slowly sank to my knees coming face to face with the erection threatening to rip though his pants.

I held his gaze searching for a cue to stop as I wrapped my fingers around him over the fabric. My hand couldn't fit all the way around. I felt his member twitch in response to my grasp. I tore my eyes from Edward's firey gaze as I slowly nuzzled the tip with my face. The fabric there was slightly wet, liquid seeping from the head of his erection.

I looked up and Edward's head fell back, he was breathing harder, but he didn't stop me.

I carefully pulled my hands to his hips and lightly tugged on the corners of his pants. That's when his hands found mine.

"Bella," he purred. His voice was dripping with lust. "Stop." He meant it.

I small lump rose in my throat. I couldn't understand. Why wouldn't he want me to please him? We didn't have to have sex, but I just wanted to take him so badly, to make him come.

His hands found my shoulders and he lifted me up. His eyes had cooled, but only a little. My expression betrayed the thoughts in my head.

"Its not that I don't want you, love. Just not this way, not right now," he whispered. He nuzzled my neck gently pulling me closer. I hated it. This should be enough, more than enough. Naked, pressed up against the man of my dreams. But I wanted more and I wouldn't get it.

"Why don't you get dressed for bed? I think that sweater has missed you," he said trying to distract me.

He sat on the bed, running his fingers through his hair while I grabbed another new pair of the white cotton panties. I suddenly wasn't feeling so sexy anymore. I pulled the sweater on, fanning my hair over my shoulders. Then I looked around for my bag in the dark.

"What is it sweetheart?" Edward looked at me.

"Nothing. My feet are just cold. I was looking for some socks," I told him. I looked up and he was gone. Back in half a second, he stood beside a small bundle in his hand. He led me over to the bed and hoisted me up effortlessly.

He unfurled a pair of knee high argyle socks. They were really cute. I could see in the moonlight dark grey with black diamonds and red and white accents. They matched Edward's sweater and my panties perfectly.

"May I?" he asked, his velvet voice igniting my core all over again. I chewed the inside of my lip and nodded, willingly. Edward's eyes never left my legs as he gathered a sock in both hands slipping it over my toes, pulling it slowly up my calf.

My nipples came all the way to life under the fabric of the sweater, a clear reaction to his sensual arctic touch.

He repeated the motions again, pulling on the second sock, then climbed on the bed next to me. "Is that better love?" he asked, tracing a circle along my neck with the tip of his nose.

"Yes, thank you. They're are quite warm," I replied barely breathing.

"Good, let's you to bed." He pulled the covers back, wrapping the blanket around my legs and pulled me to his chest.

"Bella," he whispered. There was a slightly nervous twinge to his voice. It was alarming. I froze, scared of what he might say next.

"Yes?"

"You know I love you, right? You know how much you mean to me and how happy you make me." I looked up at his and his eyes were swimming, the liquid of the topaz fluid with emotion. I pulled myself up until I could reach his lips and kissed him softly.

"Yes Edward. I do. And I love you with all my heart."

He sighed and lightly tucked my hair behind my ear. I slid back down into his embrace and drifted off to sleep.

That night I dreamt of tasting Edward again...

_We were, again, on a white sandy beach, the moon high above us. He tasted better this time, the actual likeness of his marble erection filling my mind. He didn't stop me, he didn't hesitate. He let me stroke and lick, running his fingers through my hair, bucking his hips, moaning my name aloud. He came, filling my mouth with the deliciousness of him. I swallowed and sucked more, taking in every last, sweet drop._

_Instantly he was on top of me, his head buried between my legs. I knew my imagination could hold nothing to reality of his tongue, but I savored every stroke. He nibbled gently, pausing every time I nearly came, kissing the inside of my thighs, prolonging the experience. I started to beg **…** _**_Please Edward, Please don't stop. Please..._**

I nearly woke myself, I could faintly feel my moist center pushing up against Edward's frozen thigh, but the dream was too much, its hold on me too intense. The climax my body so craved sucked me back into my subconscious.

_Edward inserted three fingers this time, stroking the sweet spot and sucking on my clit. I came, hard in his mouth, while he grabbed my hips holding me as I tried to squirm away from his relentless tongue._

The orgasm shattered every inch of me.

**Okay, maybe the next chapter will be the last... I'm not sure, but it will come to an end soon. Thank you so much for all the awesome comments and reviews. I'm taking suggestions so feel free to let me know what you think. I always message people back.**

**Next Chapter: Edward's POV**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you Stephenie Meyer... another Saturday down the tubes.**

**Umm.. this chapter gets a little lemony... It's a different side of Edward, but I think it goes hand in hand with his character, something like the Edward we don't get to see behind closed doors. I hope you enjoy!!**

**Edward's POV**

Bella's eye nearly popped out of their sockets when I said the words.

"Don't get dressed."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, as all she could was nod, then quickly closed the door behind her. I could hear her heart stumble and stutter as she padded up the stairs. What was it about me that got her so aroused? I'd never understand that.

I had about 5 minutes for this whole showering and changing process before Bella would grow impatient. I never took too long away from her. Any longer than that would seem odd. I would shower and change impeccably fast and be back at her side.

I had one thing to do first.

The conversation Bella I had that morning stuck in my mind all day.

She wanted to taste me, she wanted to please me. At first I would never have even consider it, making her do that, but as the day wore on and we talked openly and honestly about our wants and needs, as I held her to me and kissed her, as I was reminded every moment we spent together that she truly loved me back, how could I not give her what she wanted, if that was truly something she craved. I had to think about it. I didn't want it for myself. That part didn't matter, but if it made her happy, if it made her want me more, if it made her moan, how could I refuse her.

I had never had anyone go down me, ever. Much like intercourse itself, I had no idea what the sensation would truly be like and of course I was terrified of what my reactions would be in the heat of the moment. If I were making love to Bella, I would have her in arms, her warm soft body wrapped in my icy embrace. I could crush her at the point of release, but fellatio was something different, I didn't necessarily have to hold her -- right?

God that sounded awful, like she's some stranger whose mouth I would just borrow for a little while to satisfy my release. How could I not touch her? I wanted to touch her all the time.

This would be our last real time alone before the wedding. I had to come up with a concrete plan for the rest of the night, something I could commit to, something I could focus all my control behind, while still making Bella feel just how much I loved her. I had to figure something out fast.

I had to call Emmett.

I fished my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed his number as I quickly kicked off my shoes. He answered on the second ring.

"You didn't kill her did you?" Such an ass.

I was grateful that my own kind had the added skill of rapid speech. Even if Bella had been right next to me, she wouldn't have heard a word I said.

"No. I didn't. Where are you?" It sounded like he was running.

"I'm racing Jasper to the Hollywood sign. HE'S ABOUT TO LOSE… right --NOW!!-- You aint faster than me, bitch. I told you. Sorry Edward, finish what you were saying." I could hear Jasper in the background challenging to him to another race.

"Well do you have a sec, or are you and Jazz busy?" I asked sarcastically.

"Nah it's all good. Go ahead."

"Well I've been taking your advice and it's been going rather well so far, me focusing on her and what not—" I started.

"Nice, man. You made her come?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, but that's not why I'm calling." I took a deep breath. "It was been brought to my intention that she would like to return the favor -- orally—"

"Shit dude, that's awesome. Jazz, you hear that? Bella _wants_ to go down on him." Emmett repeated, crudely.

"It's about time," Jasper added.

I wanted to punch Emmett in his throat when he talked like that about Bella, like she was cheap, however he talked like that all the time so I couldn't get too mad. It was just his nature.

"So what's the issue?" Emmett asked. Um, I don't want to accidentally rip her head off.

"I am still a little concerned about my control. I know it's a little different than actual sex, but what do I do when I'm--. What I mean to ask is, where do I channel all that strength when--

"Oh you don't want accidentally rip her head off while you're nutting. That's easy, dude. Just grab onto something else, the bed frame or something. You can buy a new bed, you can't buy a new Bella." Seriously, punch him square in the throat. "Here wait. Jazz, wants to talk to you."

Jasper took the phone. "Hi Edward. Listen, it's actually a lot different—then it is with sex. For humans males, its nearly the same, the orgasm I mean. But for us it's totally different. It'll feel great but it'll be a lot easier to control yourself. Sex is much more powerful, much more extreme because of the amount of energy you're using. Just focus on being gentle and you'll be fine. And Emmett's right. If you feel your strength getting out of control just grab on to something else, anything that's not her. I've slept with plenty of humans before and I did more damage to their property than I did to them. It's easy. Trust me. Here's Em."

"Thanks, Jazz." I didn't really know whether to believe him or not. Jasper was much older and more experienced than I was and his human conquests were always a means to feed. This was the woman I loved.

"Edward, what have you done so far? You don't have to go into detail, just give me the gist," Emmett pressed. I gave him the scientific talking points of our night in the tub, how I'd just watched her shower, how I'd fought down 8 or 9 erections, how she'd told about dreaming about pleasuring me and how much she seemed to really want to.

"You wore board shorts in the tub? So wait, has she seen you naked yet?"

"No. This isn't about me. It's about her," I insisted.

"Yeah, but dude, what the fuck. It's not going to help your control at all if _she's_ feeling overwhelmed come the wedding night. It'll probably make you chicken out. You need to take some steps to make her feel more comfortable with you too or what's the point, especially if she wants to. And it sure as hell isn't going to help you AT ALL if the first nut you've had in 100 some odd years is with her in your arms. God, dude. That's just suicide," DAMN IT. I hated it when Emmett made sense. I was conflicted.

"Wait, how do you know I--" I asked.

"Dude, don't act like you beat off, cause we know you don't. You've had blue balls since I met you," Emmett asserted. I thought about hanging up on him. "I think you should let her. If you're freaking out still, double check that its something that she really wants to do and if she does, then go for it. Trust me. It feels fucking great. Damn, I'm gonna go find Rose right now. Anything else you need?"

"No that's it. Tell Jazz I said bye."

"Later."

I looked at the clock on the display. I had about four minutes of Bella's patience left. I peeled the rest of my clothes off and jumped in the shower.

What was I going to do? I didn't want Bella to think about pleasuring me. It didn't matter, her pleasure did. But what if Emmett was right, what if waiting all this time for some – release for myself would actually be my undoing come our honeymoon. This was not an easy decision to make.

The water felt great, not as warm as Bella, but warm enough that a slight amount of steam rose of my skin. I used some of Carlisle's unscented shampoo and washed my hair. All the while I couldn't help but think of Bella and that other shower head. I should have showered with her, at least let her see me the way I had seen her, so she would feel more comfortable. But no I had stripped her down twice now and ogled her like some pervert, while I remained completely dressed. Were all of my good intentions subconsciously selfish? Could I do anything for Bella that didn't end up putting her at some sort of disadvantage?

Just thinking about her naked, brought another erection to the surface. I maintained it for a moment. I had silenced so many in the last 24 hours, I had to allow this one to breathe for a moment.

Bella had the most perfect body. It was a complete compliment to her perfect lips and her beautiful eyes. Her skin with its mouthwatering aroma, so soft, so pleasant to touch. I couldn't wait to have her as my wife. I would never stop touching her. Times like these were the only ones I ever wished Bella was one of us, that she wasn't so fragile, so I could make love to her the way I desperately wanted to.

Great, now it would take twice as long to calm this erection. Of its own accord, my hand drifted down and I began stroke my own length. Man, it really had been a while. I thought about Bella in the tub, moaning my name over and over again. The feeling of her skin, the racing of her heart, I could almost hear it now.

I opened my eyes. I could hear it now, very close. See, my own pleasure again, got in the way. I wasn't even paying attention to where she was and right now she was coming through my parent's bedroom door. Maybe 5 minutes was much too long. Before I could even consider that she would wait in the bedroom, the door opened. I took my hand away, resting my head against my forearm and then I froze.

Bella's small hand reached around the edge of the door. She blindly searched for her cell phone hanging in the pocket of her fleece.

"Come on," she whispered to herself. In typical Bella fashion – she is so cute – the phone slipped from her hand, bouncing twice before landing right between her bra, which I'd deftly destroyed with a twitch of my fingers, and my boxers. I was glad I'd bought her one of those indestructible Nextels.

Now she knew that I knew she was in the room for sure.

"Crap," she whispered. So cute. "Sorry, Edward. I just wanted to grab my phone. I promise I wont look." She continued.

"It's okay, love," I replied gently. Could she really think this would upset me. I loved watching her bumble around. It reminded me that there were ways I was necessary in her life.

It took every ounce of strength I had not to laugh out loud when I saw Bella's head poke around the door. She was on all fours, keeping her eyes down. This was just getting ridiculous. As she got closer to her bra and my boxers, she gulped.

She stopped crawling, but still reaching for the phone, her eyes snapped up at me. Her face flushed bright red. I was looking at her hand as it was almost grazing my under wear, silently hoping she'd grab them instead of the phone. A chuckled slipped out. I couldn't help it. She literally looked like a little kitten confused by its own shadow.

Her eyes grew wide and she gasped, then suddenly she jumped up and scrambled for the door, yelling, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," as she almost smacking her head on the corner. What the heck was that all about? Silly Bella.

I straightened up to finish rinsing off and then I looked down.

Oh hell. I was still hard.

And she had seen it.

And I was just staring at her with a big smile on my face like some sicko trying to expose myself to her. And she had completely freaked out. Well, Emmett was right, it would have been no good if that happened on our wedding night. She was probably hiding somewhere dying of embarrassment.

I finished up, put her phone back in her jacket, grabbed the change of clothes I'd stashed earlier and a bottle of the honeysuckle massage oil. Maybe I could get her to relax again.

When I came back into my bedroom, she was curled up the couch, her face buried in her knees. Poor thing was terrified. I was so inconsiderate.

I went to her, trying to coax her out of her little self-imposed shell. I knelt in front of her and stroked her beautiful hair. It was still damp.

Bella lifted her head a bit, just so the tip of her nose was showing. "I'm sorry. I swear I wasn't trying… I just wanted to text Alice," She whimpered. My Bella, I would never think she was spying on me and even if she was, it would probably the cutest thing in the world, trying to catch a glimpse of me naked.

"Sweetheart, I know. It's fine really. I've seen you. It's only fair that you've seen me too. Are you ready for bed or do you think you could stay up a little longer?" I asked quickly changing the subject. It be pointless to dwell on her embarrassment.

She lifted her head a little more and I showed her the bottle of massage oil.

"I was thinking you might enjoy a massage," I said softly trying to soothe her a little more.

She nodded in agreement. "I would." With that, I pulled her to her feet and relieved her of her bathrobe. I would never grow tired of her body, any inch of it. Her scent attacked my scenes and I drank her in. I needed to touch her, kiss her. My lips grazed along her neck, kissing down her collarbone. I hoped she really understood how much I needed her, that she was the only thing that would fill me.

"I love you," I told her candidly. Bella's arms curled around my neck and she pulled herself closer. I silently cursed the thin layer of clothes between myself and her naked body.

"I love you, too," she replied.

I took Bella over to the bed, where she lay down on her stomach and I turned off the light. The moonlight cast her skin in magnificent tones. She was a vision.

Her feet were a little cool when I started to caress them. I wouldn't linger there long, but I could tell she had tension built up there. The second I put my hands on her, a tiny muscle in her backside twitched and the scent from her mouth-watering center became stronger. She was becoming more and more aroused.

I made my way up her calves, caressing them each, softly rubbing and stretching each muscle. When I reached her thighs, I climbed on the bed straddling her, admiring the gentle slope of her back. She belonged in a museum.

As I rubbed her cheeks, I applied a bit more pressure, working her muscles down, forcing their tension to flush forward to her dripping lips. I could smell it so strong now and I wanted to taste it.

I slipped my finger between her legs, feeling just how wet it was. I swirled my finger in her juices spreading them around, watching her body react against her will. She moaned softly, her heart was racing.

I slid one finger inside her, gently, but very slowly stroking her g-spot. She clenched around me, whimpering again. I slowly pulled it out, and put it in my mouth, tasting her on my tongue. For a brief moment I savored the taste, my eyes rolling back in my head. Sweeter than her blood, stronger then her scent, the most delicious thing to ever cross my lips.

I returned my hands to her body, back to her cheeks, up her slight waist, over and down her back again and again, reaching her shoulders and her scalp, while I covered her body in kisses. As I went, she continued to sigh and whimper and moan.

I wanted to see her face better. I wanted to kiss her breasts and I wanted to kiss her lips.

When I climbed off the bed, Bella thought it was over, thanking me sweetly, but I wasn't done with her yet.

"Roll over," I told her. She obeyed instantly, eyes wide and eager. When she was settled on her back, I started on her breasts, massaging them, gently for me but with more pressure than she was used to.

My erection was back.

Bella bit her lips as she arched in to my grasp. I couldn't bare it any more, I needed to taste her luscious nipples again. We'd been parted too long. I dipped my head down taking one sensitive peak between my lips, while my hands roamed over her body, down to the soft skin of her stomach. Her uninhibited moans called my lips to hers and I kissed her deeply. Hopefully she could feel, in this kiss how much I loved her, how much I wanted her.

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled herself up, so I was standing between her legs. My erection was dangerously close to her dripping core. Our lips still warring for control, she began pushing me backwards gently so she could slide off the bed. What was she planning?

Bella broke our kiss, her eyes penetrating the very center of me, as she slid to her knees, before I forced myself stop her, she gripped my erection, through my pants. Her small hand couldn't fit around its girth. My erection twitched at the first contact, eager in anticipation. Bella gently began rubbing the head on her face, spreading the rising pre-cum around the fabric. The feeling was unparallel, her touch around me.

But this isn't what I wanted. I was here for her, not the other way around. Emmett may have had a point, but something about this didn't feel right. Something in her eyes, like she was seeking approval. I couldn't bare it. She had to know that I loved her, that my pleasure came from simply having her in my life.

Her hands came up my hips and began tugging at the corners of my pants. That's when I stopped her.

And broke her heart all at the same time. I could see it in her eyes, she was feeling rejected. I'd hurt her feelings. How could she not know? I wanted her more than anything.

I pulled her to me, taking her in my arms. "Its not that I don't want you, love. Just not this way, not right now." I tried to explain and failed. I could almost hear the lump in her throat. Way to go, Edward. "Why don't you get dressed for bed? I think that sweater has missed you." I continued in a desperate attempt to distract her and let her know that I still found her attractive, especially in that sweater.

She quickly dressed, while I watched out of the corner of my eye. She slipped into another pair of white cotton panties, which I will admit I liked much more than the lacy numbers Alice had picked out. They were sweeter, more innocent, which made me want Bella in a whole different way.

After my sweater was draped right back where it belonged, over her tight, pink nipples, she stumbled around in the dark looking for something. She told me she was looking for her bag with her extra socks because her feet were cold. I quickly sprinted to Alice's room, going through the "Things to Wear Closet", not be confused with the "Things I've Worn" closet. I grabbed a brand new pair of knee high black and gray argyle socks, that matched my sweater and Bella's panties perfectly. After I raced back up to my room, I helped Bella up onto the bed and took my time, admiring her adorable toes and her lickable calves as I pulled them on for her. I glanced up to her nipples further budding under the thin fabric, I hoped in reaction to me. Still the whole time she was a little tense and she still wouldn't quite look me in the eye. So much for the relaxing massage.

Why had I pushed her away when it clearly hurt her so much? Why did I have to be so afraid to let her love me the way she wanted to? Why couldn't just love her _everyway_ I wanted to? I couldn't believe I expected her to marry me when I played with her emotions like this. I had to tell her, I had to say the words again.

"Bella."

"Yes?" she replied hesitantly. What had I done?

"You know I love you, right? You know how much you mean to me and how happy you make me." She looked up at me. I knew she could see it in my eyes, just how much I hated myself right now.

She pulled herself up to me and kissed me with gentle sincerity, on the lips. A lump rose in my throat.

"Yes Edward. I do. And I love you with all my heart." she said softly.

I tucked my favorite wayward strand of hair back behind her ear and rocked her to sleep. The trip to the meadow must have worn her out, because she was under, deep, very quickly. I held her to me, stroking her cheeks as her lips parted slowly. My breath caught in anticipation of her first words of the night.

Bella, in a way, put on a repeat performance of the night before. Saying how much see loved me, my name over and over as she hugged me tighter.

I lifted her hand and gently turned her engagement ring slightly to the left then back into place. I couldn't wait to see her dress. I knew she would look beautiful, no matter what the style.

I, too, couldn't help, but think of my real parents. Would my mother be proud of me? Would she be happy that I had given Bella her ring? I thought she would, especially if she knew how happy she made me, how she made me want to be a better man. If she knew how wonderful Bella was, how intelligent and thoughtful and kind and loving. My mother would have loved Bella for me - absolutely.

For brief moment, the thought of a mother, of Bella being a mother, crossed my mind. Again I shouldn't have thought of it. She would have made the most wonderful mother. That child would be loved so much. I hated that I wouldn't be able to share that with her. Maybe we could "adopt" as she hinted at before. Start our own little home for wayward vampire youth. I would do it, anything, if it made her happy.

Suddenly, Bella threw her leg over me. Through my pants I could feel the heat coming off her thigh. Again I fought down another erection.

This wasn't working. Emmett was right. I did need some sort of release, but I couldn't ask her for that. I couldn't insist that this weekend was about her pleasure, her ecstasy, then turn around and ask her to get me off. Aroused or not, I would still treat her like a lady.

Bella started moaning then.

The things she said and the things she did… I – I didn't know what to think at first. There was moaning, lots of loud moaning. Then came the begging, the intense, the insistent, beyond sensual begging.

_Please, Edward… You taste so good… I wanna finish... I wanna taste it all._

My erection throbbed, taunting me. But Bella wouldn't let up. _Please,_ she kept saying. Over and over again - _Please_.

And the true, final straw. Bella showed me a side of her that I had never imagined. Her wet core pressed up against my thigh, her leg still draped across me. She gripped my pants in one of her hands, further restraining my already painfully swollen length. She pulled herself closer and started rubbing up against me, hard. Her wetness soaked through both her panties and my pant leg.

_Please Edward… I love the way you lick my pussy… please… please … don't stop. Please… Eat my pussy._

I have an extremely large capacity for thought and comprehension, but I couldn't wrap my mind around this. Bella – had the word _pussy_ in her vocabulary? Since when? Not that I minded. It was incredibly sexy. She went from my sweet little tiger kitten to foxy sex kitten in once swift moment, but how, when, what the? She had reduced me to nonsensical mental blubbering.

And I knew she'd wanted to taste me, but did she want me to do the same, this much? She continued to grind up against me moaning my name. Was she actually asleep? Of course. She would be purple with embarrassment if she was awake.

Soon she was coming – stuttering on in her sleep. I stared at her wide eyed, watching as she finished herself off. _Ah Edward… Eat my pussy… I'm coming…I'm com…I love you…. I love you, _she sighed finally.

It was the most arousing thing I had ever witnessed.

Her body writhed in my embrace for a few more moments, her breathing still labored, her heart trying to slow to its normal pace. When she was completely done, I slid down further under the covers and gently rolled her to her side, spooning her. I had completely forgotten about my erection until I settled into the position. I put a little space between my hips and her rear end, but she snuggled closer to me, nuzzling my erection right between her legs at the base of her backside. Her panties were of course still soaked and I could feel it up and down every inch.

Definitely the longest night of my life. They whole time I lay there holding my sweet angel in my arms and all night my erection refused to go away. I tried to force it down, thinking of anything from Emmett's feet to Rosalie temper on a bad day, but nothing worked. Bella would simply readjust, like she was the most content in her life with my erection pressed up against her.

Hours spent waiting and wishing. Waiting for her to wake up and wishing my arousal would dwindle. Maybe it was her juices, just as powerful, swimming around me, filling my head. Her dripping center had tasted so good on my finger. I wanted to taste her, again

Once more she slept late, waking around noon. We only had several hours left. My family would be back by 6 and Alice would take Bella home keeping up the charade.

Unlike yesterday, when she seemed to wake refreshed, today she seemed out of it, a little cranky even.

She rolled, disoriented and looked up at me, pouting.

"What's wrong, love?" I asked kissing her on her lips. She was still pouting.

"My feet are hot," she said sounding like an adorably upset little girl. God I wanted her.

_SO TAKE HER!!_ Emmett screamed in the back of my head. I didn't have the will power to not listen anymore. I wanted to taste her and the last 36 hours of pure self-control were just too much. She was my fiancé for Christ sake. Why was I making this so difficult for myself? She could have me anyway she wanted and I could have her. And in that moment I wanted nothing more than to bury my face between her legs and make her dreams come to true, so to speak.

_SO TAKE HER—_

So I took her.

Without another word, I gently flipped Bella on her back. I watched her wide eyes as she watched mine, probably wondering what in the world I was about to do. I leaned in slowly, kissing her beautiful lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. I pressed my body against hers gently, feeling every warm curve against me. She was glorious and she was all mine.

I gently pulled her grip loose from behind my head. The look on her face was priceless. A little confused, a lot disappointed. But I had only just begun. I slid down her body quickly, but not so fast that she couldn't see me. She perched herself up on her elbows, eyes locked with mine, her mouth softly parting.

I knelt on the bed and pulled her left leg up onto my shoulder. Her eyes grew even wider. I used both hands, sliding them up her calf and grabbed the sock just below her knee. It was clear why she had been cranky when she woke, her legs were burning up, almost sweating. I discarded the sock over my shoulder and tried to cool her down, lifting and turning her calf slightly as I lay sloppy, deep kisses over the length of them. I gently blew on her skin every time I moved to a different spot.

Her eyes were still trained on me as she sucked in one stuttered breath, meanwhile, I began to kiss and lick the soft ball of her ankle slowly moving to her adorable little toes, kissing each one.

I repeated each action on her other leg and this time she let her head fall back on the pillow, soft moans escaping her lips. I could smell her dripping core now. It was stronger, as it been earlier that night. I couldn't wait to taste it.

I began crawling up Bella's body, slowly half way up, stopping at her waist. I waited until her eyes met mine, staring past her perfect peaked nipples, insanely erect under my sweater. I should have it framed. As if to know my full intention, she bit her lip and nodded. It was so sexy. I had to have her now.

I pulled the hem of my sweater up a few inches over her stomach and began gently rubbing my lips around the edge of her panties. She was having a really hard time breathing. I deepened my kisses, pausing to lick her skin slowly here and there.

Bella's hand drifted down and began pulling the sweater up further, planning to remove it. We would be having none of that. That sweater was my new best friend. It stays.

"Leave it on," I whispered roughly before I continued kissing her body. She swallowed hard and continued to watch me.

I climbed back to my knees and discarded my wife beater, tossing it on the floor. I hooked my fingers in the corners of her panties, pulled the soaking article off and stuffed it in my pocket. Another memento.

I lay back down between Bella's legs. Her heart beat was thundering, small muscles spasms erupted all over her body and I hadn't really touched her yet.

For a moment, I thought about double checking, making sure this was something she was completely okay with, but I could tell from the look her eyes, as she waited for me to attack, that she wanted this almost as much as I did.

One hand I placed on the crease of her hip, the other I placed in the bed between her legs, under my chest. My fingers twitched with desire, waiting for their turn to enter her sweet, dripping lips again.

Titling my head down just so, I started kissing Bella's soft folds, just above her clit. I kissed slowly, taking my time just tasting the moisture on the outside that would otherwise be squandered, no doubt rubbed away by a thankless towel. She let out a deep breath through nose as her teeth bit into her bottom lip.

I slid my arms under her legs and pulled her down, the crease where the back of her thigh met her plump backside pushed up against my collarbone. I looked up briefly memorizing the vision before me. My sweater slid up, revealing more of her soft stomach. Her hair was splayed out across the bed, as her head fell back while I had pulled to me. She quickly looked down at me again, wanting to see what was coming for her.

Now that I had a better angle, I knew I would not stop until Bella was finished, until she could take no more. Bella was so little, that it was easy to reach my arm around her hip and spread her lips. Her scent completely enveloped me.

In that moment I felt every bit of my animalistic nature rising inside of me. The blinders I typically had on when hunting snapped into place and I knew my thirst would not be satiated until I consumed Bella completely. I knew she could see it my eyes as my unshakable focus glazed over my topaz gaze.

She whimpered a little, eyes wide as she swallowed another lump in her throat, a lump put there by fear. I felt her body tense up under me. It had been years since, but I'd seen this look on her face before, right before I would bow the neck of my intended victim and feed. And I could see too, for a fraction of a moment, she wanted to run. Her fear only excited me more. Bella was completely safe and I was in complete control, only my focus had shifted. I would allow myself to satisfy my need. This had nothing to do with her blood, only the sweet juices oozing forth in front of my eager lips. I would lick and suck until I'd had my fill, and Bella wasn't going anywhere until I was done.

I started kissing again, her vertical slit tangling with my lips. I would take it slow, slower than before. I wanted this to last. I glanced up and she was still watching me, hesitantly. Her breathing was growing harder, but there was still fear in her eyes. I chuckled freely, pressing the vibrations of my laughter into her clit. She eyes closed then and she let out a small moan.

_See Bella everything will be fine…_

I swallowed the venom that was pooling in my mouth and started using my tongue, lapping at her small opening all the way to her clit. Her body responded, producing more of the sweet nectar. If it would sustain my true biological needs I would live off Bella in this way forever, gladly giving up even the most fulfilling blood. The taste was indescribable, the slippery feeling beyond arousing. I swallowed every drop that made it into my mouth, waiting to savoring the moisture on my chin for a little while later.

I freed one of my arms, reached up under the sweater and started stroking her hardened nipple. Her body was writhing now as she slowly began grinding her hips into my face. She sighed and moaned and grabbed tightly to my hair, finally let herself enjoy this.

I was relentless, stroking her clit over and over with my tongue, trying to push her to her first orgasm. It was small, but extremely adorable. Her body quivered and she almost sounded like she was crying as she came, tiny kitten like whimpers escaping her lips.

"Does that feel good, love?" I asked between the gentle kisses I placed on her thighs. All she could to was nod in agreement. "Do you want me to continue?" As if I would have stopped there.

"Please," she whispered faintly. _Pleased_ I wouldn't have to force this pleasure upon her, I resumed kissing the sweetness between her legs. I slowly inserted two fingers and she arched into me again, begging for more.

I pumped my fingers in and out gradually increasing their speed and pressure. Bella's body reacted in kind, her panting growing faster and harder. I continued to adore her clit with my tongue.

Soon Bella was losing control, chest swelling, rising and falling with every intense moan. "Edward, I think I'm gonna come! Please don't stop! Please!" she begged. Of course I wasn't going to stop. I needed to feel her orgasm vibrate through her body, I needed her release just as much as she did.

I began thrusting my fingers faster and harder, hitting her G-spot every time. My actions brought out the most satisfying moans and yelps from my love. Bella clenched the sheets with her hands, "Don't stop. Don't stop," she begged. She was coming, but I knew she could handle more. I tightened my grip around her hips, holding her down with my arm, and drilled my fingers deeper into her. The yelping continued, but just incoherent sounds.

Much too soon, the muscles of her warm, wet center gripped my fingers tightly and suddenly forced them out. I had an idea what was coming, so I forced my fingers back in, pumping her g-spot quickly two more times, before quickly yanking them back out. The succulent liquid shot up my fingers, some of it spraying my palm and forearm before I was able to press my lips against her, sucking the sweet honey that gushed from within. All the while Bella was screaming profanities, her hips trying desperately to buck out of my grasp, but I wouldn't let her go.

Finally she was done, but it took her a few minutes to come down from the incredible high. She moaned and panted her heartbeat and breathing back into her own control, telling me she loved me over and over again.

When she finally lay still, I released her and rose back to my knees. She watched me wide-eyed, while I licked my fingers and my forearm clean. I couldn't stand a drop being wasted, silently cursing the small puddle I saw on the bed.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," She pleaded softly. I dropped my arm and stared at her. Her sad, apologetic tone snapped me out of my lustful daze. The feeding frenzy was over and my angel needed me. I was quickly by her side, scooping her up in my arms, cradling her to my chest.

"Sorry for what, love?" I whispered in her ear. "What's wrong?" I stroked her cheeks and her forehead gently, cooling away the perspiration that had built up there.

"I—I think I peed on you," she whispered bashfully.

"No, Bella you didn't," I chuckled. It was so amazing how little some knew about their own bodies.

"But I could feel it. I--,"

"Love, you squirted," I told her gently.

"I what?" she asked looking up at me, more than confused.

I chuckled a little. "You ejaculated. It's perfectly normal. Well actually you're quite special. All female bodies have the ability, but not a lot of women do it. It usually only happens when you are having the most extreme of orgasms."

"I'll say," she murmured. "But I thought only guys could do that."

"Nope. Women can too," I assured her. "Did you enjoy that, sweetheart?"

"I did," she giggled. "How do I taste?"

"So good, Bella. You have no idea."

**If you favorite me or my story, please write a review.  
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**I hope you all enjoyed this freakier side of Edward.  
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**Chapter 6: Bella's POV**

**I know a few of you have made some requests about some things that should happen next. I'm thinking about it and I'll let you know.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to Stephenie Meyer for clouding my vision and these lovely characters. I now see the world through a Twilight heavy fog.  
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**My Boyfriend is gonna kill me if I don't stop this soon. Good thing his Xbox is keeping him company.  
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**I was determined to get this out before I headed back to work tomorrow.**

**I have gotten A LOT of requests for certain events to take place in this story. Some of them reasonable and some of the a little too much for me. Mostly I got requests for some loving for Edward. I won't keep you in suspense. Edward gets some loving, but only the way Edward Cullen knows how. I did what was asked of me and somehow managed to stick to his personality, well at least my version of his personality. I hope you like it.**

**A fun, smutty chapter, the animal in Bella is unleashed...**

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**Bella's POV**

_I was sitting on First Beach looking out across the water._

_I was all alone._

"_How many do you want, Bella?" I turned to see Emily, standing by a large bonfire. Leah was her side. _

"_Yeah, Bella. One or Two. Or Both," Leah's voice was harsh and cold. She would never forgive me for what I did to Jacob. _

_I turned again, looking towards the water. I was searching for something. I was searching for Edward. _

_Suddenly my feet were extremely uncomfortable, too warm. I looked down and what had once been a mild, contained fire was spreading out over the sand surrounding my feet. I watched as the fire burned through my boots, consuming my socks, but I couldn't move._

_I looked up and Leah and Emily were gone. Edward was standing in their place._

"_Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, extending a hand to me. I looked down again as blue and green flames licked my bare feet. My skin remained unharmed, but the heat was still too much. I was hot. My whole body was hot, especially my feet. _

I felt my body twitch itself awake. It was not pleasant. There was a brief moment where I was able to realize that my dream was actually caused by something going on around me, or on me in this case, and not by suppressed guilt.

I was so groggy, so annoyed. I could feel my face scrunching up. My feet were so hot. So much for the sexy sock idea.

I felt Edward's arms around me, his chest against my back, his sweet breath in my hair. I rolled over so I could see his beautiful face. I could tell I was pouting, my eyes still narrowed shut, shading themselves from the late morning light. I felt like crap. Between my feet and my warm, wet panties, I desperately wanted to shower. But when I saw his face, his gorgeous golden eyes, I knew I couldn't make myself get out of bed.

"What's wrong, love?" Edward asked, before kissing me sweetly on my lips. Nope, there was no way I was getting out of bed.

"My feet are hot," I whined.

Edward was always careful when it came to using his strength on me. He was always careful when he touched, always careful when he moved, so you can imagine my surprise when one moment I was half turned on my side, chest to chest with my sweetheart and the next I was pinned to the bed, on my back, Edward's body pressing against mine, a lustful look in his eyes.

I felt his eyes penetrate my heart. How could he not read my mind? How could he not know what I wanted, when my every breath called out to him declaring my love?

I stared back searching his expression for his intent and his eyes softened. He leaned in closer, kissing me sweetly on my lips. I'd missed him so much while I was asleep. Again I wished I could rush my immortality so I would never have to close my eyes to him again.

Too soon, like always, much too soon, he pried my arms from around his neck. He grinned at my tragic expression. Something stopped me from protesting. Something in his eyes told me he wasn't finished, that this kiss was only the start of something bigger, not just a romantic way to say good morning.

I sat up a little and watched, amazed, as Edward rose to his knees and propped my leg up on his shoulder.

I could feel my eyes bugging out of my head. I could feel my jaw flapping in the wind.

Up until a couple days ago this sort of contact was forbidden, but now I was seeing that Edward's new resolve, even though we would not make love until the honeymoon, had truly created new boundaries. Ones I was extremely happy with.

This was not a bad way to start off the morning.

Edward slowly pulled off the oppressive socks and cooled my sweaty legs down, stroking them with his wintry hands and cool, wet kisses. I couldn't help but sigh.

Then Edward spent the next few minutes driving me completely insane, rendering me a panting, speechless fool.

He traveled up my body stopping just below my belly button. After he pulled back his sweater, he set about kissing and licking the skin along the edge of my panties.

My body was in heaven, but my mind was racing. What was he doing? He couldn't possibly--

I gasped internally thinking of my dream. And of course it could only be a dream because Edward was finally letting me touch him, stroke him, take him, please him. And Edward was kissing me, touching me, licking me, sucking me until I came. Edward was being so good about pleasuring me physically this weekend, but we both knew he would only go so far.

But now – what was he doing now?

I had started to pull the sweater off, he seemed to want it out of the way, but he stopped me and now – he was – he was taking off _his_ wife beater and now _he_ was pulling off _my_ panties. And he was kissing me, he cool lips were kissing my dripping slit, softly.

I could barely breath. I could barely think. I could only process one thing, Edward's head was in between my legs and he made the decision to go down there all by himself.

What the hell did I say in my sleep?

Edward wrapped his arm around my hip, tightening his hold on my body. He gently used two fingers to spread my lips. But before he continued, as I watched him carefully, his nostrils flared slightly and he took a deep, but subtle breath.

In that moment something happened to his eyes, to his whole body. Something strong, something menacing clouded his composed features. I couldn't match this Edward to one I had ever seen before. Not the Edward who had run from me in the early days of our life together, not the Edward who had turned vicious fighter to save me time and time again, not the Edward who rocked me to sleep. I didn't know this man, this predator on the hunt. I didn't know this Edward, because this Edward scared me.

His grip on me tightened as he chuckled darkly against my clit. I wasn't going anywhere, because I couldn't move and because I didn't want to. Even if these were to be my last minutes, I would happily perish as long as it involved Edward's lips on my body.

As the seconds passed, and Edward continued to kiss and lick and suck and caress, it became clear I should give up again, give up thinking and enjoy this, that I should remain some what calm. Any negative over-reaction on my part would keep him from ever touching me like this again.

I let my head fall back and I gave myself to him completely. The waves of pleasure washed over me, covering me from head to toe. Soon his free hand found my breast under the sweater and he started massaging and gently pinching my eager nipple. His fingers had warmed a bit from caressing my bare skin, but there was still a slight chill that thrilled my nipples at his touch.

His tongue stroked my clit again and again and soon I was coming. It was different then in the tub, then in my dream. It was like a soft subtle release, light and gentle on my whole system, like my body let out a sensual sigh of its very own.

Edward began kissing my thighs, which did nothing to calm my racing heartbeat.

"Does that feel good, love"? he asked softly. The intense look in his eyes remained, but in his voice, I could hear it, my Edward was back.

My mind still wasn't working so he would have to settle for a simple nod of approval. Did it feel good? Of course, it felt amazing.

"Do you want me to continue?" he asked between caresses with his lips.

I wanted to scream _Hells Yes_, but "Please," was all that came out.

After that I don't remember much. To be honest I think I blacked out a few times. I remember him spreading my lips wider, the amazing feeling of his tongue on my clit and two of his strong fingers inside of me.

I remember wishing I could tell him to pump his fingers harder and faster, to lick me more and more, but the words wouldn't come. But he knew, he knew exactly what I wanted and soon I was on the edge.

I felt my hips bucking, my core wanting more, wanting him closer. He held me tighter in place as I began to explode. It was intense, much more intense then I ever thought possible. My body seemed to hit this wall. I wanted him to stop because it was all becoming too much. There were too many sensations, too much pleasure, as if that was even possible, but it was in the moment it was. I felt my body would break, vital organs would rupture so much so that it really felt like I had to pee. But Edward wouldn't let up. And that's exactly what happened. I literally lost all control. I came and my body simply exploded.

I felt myself coming, liquid gushing from me and then because I literally had no control, Edwards hold was so strong, oh god I hate to even think this, but I peed on him. I couldn't help it. I couldn't help anything. My back arched uncontrollably, and I cried out again, although I have no idea what I said. My head and my legs thrashed, but he wouldn't like me go. Instead his pushed his lips to me hard, sucking and licking feverishly.

Finally I was finished. Spent, soaking and embarrassed. I threw my arm over my face letting myself come back down to Earth. I looked up when Edward moved back up on his knees. I watched in amazement, as he licked my wetness from his fingers and his arm. He looked like a man lost in the desert, a man finally savoring his first drink, finally quenching an unbearable thirst. He licked in a feline way, cleaning as he went.

This was my fiancé, this was my vampire.

Then I realized what he was licking.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," I whispered. _I can't be I did that. So embarrassing._

He dropped his arm and stared at me like I was crazy. _Gosh, he didn't even know. _He blinked and quickly he was by my side scooping me up into his arms.

"Sorry for what, love? What's wrong?" he purred.

I was beyond mortified. He'd never want to touch me again.

"I – I think I peed on you." Never did I think I would actually say those words to someone, but here we were and I was saying them to Edward. My face flushed bright red. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"No, Bella you didn't," he laughed softly.

"But I could feel it. I--," I started, utterly confused.

"Love, you squirted," he corrected me politely.

"I what?"

"You ejaculated. It's perfectly normal. Well actually you're quite special. All female bodies have the ability, but not a lot of women do it. It usually only happens when you are having the most extreme of orgasms."

"I'll say," I muttered. I don't think it could get more extreme. "But I thought only guys could do that."

"Nope. Women can too. Did you enjoy that, sweetheart?" he asked, stroking my cheek.

"I did." I told him truthfully, but how could he not know. And then I laughed at myself because I just had to ask. "How do I taste?"

"So good, Bella. You have no idea." he said with sincerity. "I can't wait until I can taste you again." A devilish grin crept across his lips as he leaned in to kiss me again. I could taste myself on him, mixed with natural deliciousness of his lips. It was an instant turn on. I was ready for more and he could tell. "Patience love," he whispered against my skin. "We still have a few more hours."

"Well what first?" I asked.

"Food." Before I could protest Edward swept me up in a cocoon of blankets, whisked me downstairs the kitchen and sat me in a chair at the kitchen table.

"What's on the menu today?" I asked still catching my breath. My brain was still moving a mile a minute. What had just happened? Had Edward really just gone down on me and given me the most amazing, mind blowing orgasm? And no one died?

It all had to be true as I examined the proof, me sitting pantyless, wrapped I blankets, still soaking wet. I knew I should say something, but I didn't know where to start.

"Some good ole fashion American cuisine. Let me ask you something," Edward spoke, thank god. He was setting out a frying pan and a baking sheet.

"Sure," I replied. _Oh Crap, here it comes._

"I was wondering – how often you use the word pussy when I'm not around?" he chuckled slightly, his back to me. I was grateful because I could feel my cheeks ignite with embarrassment. _DAMN MY SLEEP TALKING._

"What did say?" I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Not much, just something along the lines of… _Eat my pussy, Edward. I love the way you eat my pussy_." He was causally preparing some beef patties, his back still to me. I wondered for a brief second what the cow's blood smelled like to him.

Then Edward turned and leaned over the island in the middle of the kitchen. He was still several feet away from me, but maybe if I jumped fast enough I could tackle him. The lust in his eyes, burning in the liquid gold, was too much for me. I wanted him so bad.

"Is that why you--" I started.

"Well you seemed to want it so badly last night, when you rubbing up against me. Who am I to denying you want you really want," he said, his crooked smile taunting me.

"Maybe I'll talk in my sleep more often," I replied. Edward snorted teasingly and turned his attention back to the stove.

We talked about his families return and then it was seemed like no time at all, he sat down next to me putting a juicy cheeseburger and fresh cut fries down on the table. I freed my arms from the blanket, preparing to chow down. I was starving.

"Thank you sweetheart. This looks so good," I said, picking up the huge burger. It smelled great and tasted even better. How someone who didn't eat was such an amazing cook was beyond me.

He gently pushed my hair back, from my face. His touch sent shivers down my spine. "My pleasure, love."

"Edward?" There were some questions I had to ask him, some things I had to wrap my mind around.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Can you explain something to me?"

"Sure, what would you like to know?" his fingers traveled down my neck, spreading pleasure filled goose bumps in their wake. I avoided his eyes, instead focusing on my plate, and actually getting the food in my mouth.

"Well I'm still confused about the whole squirting thing," I said, taking another bite.

"You want me to talk about that while you're eating?" A gentleman as always.

"Yeah. I want to know," I pressed. So he told me, the way only Edward could, where as to not distract me from my meal or turn me on, but to answer my question thoroughly.

He spent the next few minutes breaking down the science of the female genitals, pausing when I blushed uncontrollably.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked cautiously.

"No, of course not. I just feel stupid. I mean I paid attention in Bio and in sex ed and its like the skipped all the most important parts. You know more about my body then I do." I confessed.

"Well as you know, I've a 100 years of sleepless nights to catch up on a lot of reading. And as for Bio class and sex-ed, I think they idea is to give you a basic understanding. The last thing school administrators want to do is teach teenagers the joys of sex, on purpose. At least if they make it sound boring and even a little embarrassing, they have few less cases of STDs and slightly less teen pregnancies on their hands."

"Good thing we don't have to worry about that," I chuckled darkly. When I looked up Edward was looking at the floor, lips pursed, eyes hard.

_Great. Foot in mouth disease strikes again._

"Edward, I didn't mean it like that," I pleaded.

His eyes softened a little and he brought his hand to my cheek. "I know love, I just wish I could give you everything and that includes children some day," his velvet tones were soft and apologetic.

"But you _are_ giving me everything I want. You're giving me you." I kissed his palm gently and he sighed. "Please continue," I urged.

He explained more to me about the glands responsible for the female ejaculation and how it remains such a mystery because for years it was believed that women didn't orgasm at all.

_That's cause none of them had an Edward Cullen._ I chuckled internally.

"Would you like another burger or are you ready for dessert?" he asked kindly picking up my plate and standing from the table.

"What kind of dessert?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"Actual dessert. I swear Isabella, one track mind." He mussed my hair.

"Sure dessert sounds good." I sighed in defeat. I just wanted to touch him and kiss him again. I could never get enough.

Edward returned to the table with a bowl of ice cream and all the fixings for a sundae.

"Very cute," I giggled. "You should open your own malt shop."

"_We_ could do that whenever you like." He leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. My heart stuttered and stopped as his cool lips brushed mine. I would never grow tired of his kiss.

I watched as Edward prepared the sundae for me, asking and adding each topping. Starting with the hot fudge and caramel and some fluffy whipped cream and sprinkles and finally a cherry.

"Perfect," I smiled up at him. "Spoon?"

He nodded towards the spoon that rested on his side of the table, and I reached for it.

"Please allow me," he motioned for me to stop. "Are you a cherry first or cherry last kind of girl?" he asked, his hand hovering over the bowl.

"Umm, cherry first," I struggled to keep things light. This was his weekend after all.

"I see," he said picking the small fruit up by the stem. He swept it gently through the whipped cream, making sure the whole bottom was coated. Then he slowly brought it to my lips. I tilted my head to the side, giving my tongue a better angle to work with.

I watched Edward's golden eyes ignite and smolder as the tip of my tongue gently stroked the bright red cherry. I exaggerated several strokes giving it more then necessary to lick it clean.

Edward had stopped breathing.

"Open up," he whispered. My lips parted and he fed me the cherry, holding on the stem. I put my hand on his knee as I chewed it slowly. He still wasn't breathing.

When I finished, he slid me the spoon.

I picked it up and started eating the ice cream, pushing some of the whipped cream aside. It was my favorite part and I usually saved it for last.

"I wonder what type of boy you were, Edward Cullen," I said, trying to sound sexy.

He took a breath, finally. "Oh I would have been a cherry last kind of guy, certainly." My core twitched at the words.

After a few bites, I was in need of some water. Edward stood to get me a glass. He was less than a foot away when I called to him. I couldn't resist.

"Hey, Edward."

Just as he turned, I flung a spoon full of whipped cream at him. It splattered on his bare chest. He had the reflexes to dodge my assault, but I could see it in his eyes, he wanted to play.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that," he growled playfully. Then next thing I knew he had me in his vice-like grip, spraying whipped cream all over my face. I retaliated by rubbing my face all over his chest. He dropped the can then, and started tickling me.

"Edward, stop," I yelled laughing like crazy. The blanket dropped to the floor and he pressed me up against him, tickling my back and sides. He stopped when it was clear the laughter was making in nearly impossible for me to breathe.

He lifted my chin delicately with his finger and started wiping what was left of the mess away. His eyes were smoldering and my core was throbbing. I wanted to taste him now.

I knew Edward was only so strong and maybe, just maybe, if I tried again he would let me. He let out a deep moan as I started kissing my way across his chest, as I licked some of the whipped cream off his nipple. He released me from his grasp and let me kiss freely across his body. I slowly made my way down to his stomach, then cautiously sunk to my knees. He was hard again, dripping and throbbing.

I reached for the drawstring on his pants and again, he stopped me. And again, I wanted to cry.

He grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me to my feet. When I was fully upright, he looked deep into my eyes searching for something.

"Love, I would never ask you to do that, but is it something you really want? For yourself?" he whispered.

I took a deep breath, I had to make this good. He was actually giving me a chance to plead my case. "Edward, you know how making me happy makes you happy, you know how you try and giving me everything I could ever want? Well I would – experience great pleasure, as you like to put it, if you let me do this for you," I said confidently.

"Are you sure? I love you. I want to please you—"

"But can't that go both ways. Can't I want to please you too? You enjoy getting me off, right?" I further pressed.

"Oh yes."

"Well why can't I? Why can't I make you feel that good?" I could feel the tears threatening to spill over. I wanted this so bad. I needed us, on some level, to be equals. I needed to feel his body react to _me_.

"You really want this?" he asked once more.

"Yes," I breathed.

"Then you shall have it," he muttered against my cheek. I began to descend, but he scooped me up into his arms. "Not like this, love."

I nodded in silent agreement. Whatever he wanted as long as he let me do this, I didn't care where.

In split second we were back in Esme and Carlisle's bathroom. Edward set me down and quickly turned on both showerheads. He returned to me and swiftly pulled his sweater off. It was all matted and sticky.

I quickly pulled the drawstring on his flannel pants and they fell to his ankles. He caressed my nipple as I admired his length, almost afraid to touch. It was so beautiful.

He gently took me by the hand and led me to the shower. I watched, stunned as the water steamed off Edward's skin, neutralizing his body temperature, washing the whipped cream off. He slowly turned me by the shoulders, facing me towards the showerhead. I let the water run over my face, washing the sticky mess away. I felt Edward's hands in my hair, lathering it up with the honey suckle shampoo. He turned me again and rinsed the shampoo out, then spun me once more, pressing his chest and his erection up against my backside. I wondered for a moment… _would he make love to me, now, here in the shower?_

Edward swept my hair forward over my shoulder, began laying soft, sensual kiss on my neck. His hands came around my body and gently massaged my breasts. My head fell back on his shoulder, a deep moan escaping my lips. His touch, his kiss, both so perfect, so right. But I had to focus. He had given the green light, to do the one thing I'd been trying to do all weekend long.

I turned to face him, gently pressing my chest to his, giving his erection just enough space.

I tilted my face to up to his, drops of water splashed off his body and onto mine. His thumb softly stroked my cheek.

"Let's not do this here," he whispered.

"But I thought—" another stubborn lump nearly closed my throat.

"Yes, love we will, but I think you're knees will be regretting this tile floor after a few short minutes."

I looked down at the floor below us. He may have been on to something there.

Edward turned off the showerheads and led me out of the shower, wrapping me in a large towel. He climbed the stairs slowly, his eyes never leaving my face as he kissed my cheeks, my lips, my forehead. I could feel love radiating off of him.

"You sure you don't want me to carry you?" I joked lightly.

"I'm a little heavier than you think," he chuckled.

When we got back to his room, there was evidence from our encounter earlier that afternoon, but neither of us cared. Edward stepped over his wife beater and my socks and placed me on the bed.

"I'm not really sure how to do this," he said softly. "I just want you to be as comfortable as possible."

I looked around searching for the best spot for the both of us. I could sit on the couch, but I didn't want to make him stand. And me kneeling on the floor, for my first time didn't seem like a good idea. Edward laying on the bed seemed the best option.

I pulled the towel away and wrapped it around his body, pulling him closer and slowly rubbing his back.

"Come lay up here," I said patting the bed beside me. I kept the towel bunched neatly in my lap. It would stay on the bed with me just in case.

Edward climbed on the bed and lay down behind me. I turned and lay beside him, our bodies pressed together. His arm curled around my shoulders.

I knew I could be shooting myself in the foot, but I needed to know. I didn't want to do anything that made him uncomfortable.

"Are you okay with this, Edward? Really?"

"I am more than okay with anything that makes you happy, love," his smile was gentle and sincere.

I climbed up and pressed my lips to his. "I love you," I whispered.

Finally he let me descend.

I kissed his lips one more time, then felt him sigh as I continued down his chest. My tongue softly swept across his left nipple before I took it in my mouth once more and kissed it. His fingers found the back of my head and he slowly caressed my hair. It was a soothing motion that gave me the courage to continue. I had no idea what the hell I was doing.

When I reached the rippling muscles of his stomach, he spoke. "Bella, you have to promise me you'll move when I tell you to."

I cocked my head in confusion. He continued before I could question him out loud.

"I – I don't know how much venom there is. You must promise me you wont try to swallow," His tone was urgent. He honestly felt there was a risk. I had to trust him.

"I promise. Just tell me when," I said softly.

He moved his hand from my hair and touched my cheek. "I will."

I slid down a little further and made myself comfortable between his legs.

I looked up as Edward closed his eyes. I think we both needed a moment to think. I looked down at Edward's throbbing erection, a nearly perfect porcelain cylinder. It was so long and thick. I wondered how I would ever, at some point, fit him inside of me.

I had to push the thought out of my head. Now I had to concentrate on getting it in my mouth.

I mentally sized up my hands and his girth. I would need the assistance of my hand in this situation, for sure. I gently wrapped my right hand around his shaft. Edward let out another deep sigh and his shaft twitched in my grasp. I leaned down slowly, looking up, watching him as gently, I ran my tongue across the tip. The taste was unbelievable, sweet, just like his scent. Almost like honey.

I wanted more.

I took as much of him as I could into my mouth, making it a little more than half way down. I didn't swallow, letting the natural moisture from my mouth drip down the length of him, spreading it around with my hand.

My lips and my fingers began moving in sync, stroking and sucking, pumping him at a gently pace. He held perfectly still, his breathing shallow, but he couldn't help but groan and sigh as I continued to touch him.

It was so erotic, touching him like this, watching what my every movement did to him.

Soon he started to relax, his hand again found the back of my head and slowly began guiding me up and down. I was already wet, but his hands on me while my mouth was on him made matters worse.

I reached my left hand down between my legs, while my head continued to bob and my lips continued to suck and my tongue continued to lick. I found the warm, wet spot between my legs and started to rub circles on my clit. This was maybe the best sensation I'd felt all weekend. Finally I was doing the pleasing, pleasuring him and pleasuring myself all at the same time. The thought and the feel of it made me moan, sending vibrations down Edward's shaft.

"Bella," he moaned, bucking his hips ever so slightly. I rubbed myself and sucked him harder.

Soon his breathing was becoming very ragged. I knew he was close. I looked up into his eyes, The hunter was back, eying his prey. I looked back down and sucked harder now using both hands to stroke and caress him. I readied myself, perching up on my knees, the ball of one foot ready to propel me out of the way.

"Bella, move," he gasped.

I swear I should have run hurdles, because I jumped over his leg landing safely next to the bed, faster than I ever thought possible.

I watched, holding myself, my arms across my chest, as Edward's erection exploded. His cum seeped from his body, a deep grey, almost silvery, cream. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I could smell it from where I stood. It called to me.

I took a step towards the bed. I wanted to taste it.

"Bella, no," Edward growled. My eyes stayed focused on his erection, but I took a step back.

Soon his body stopped quaking and the deep labored breaths coming from his nostrils became to slow. He grabbed the towel from the bed and quickly cleaned himself up. He shot up out of the bed and disappeared out the door. I stared in amazement at the ghost of his back. He was back seconds later another clean towel in his hand. He threw it over the frame at the head of the bed and took me by the hand.

He walked me over to the couch and pulled me down onto his lap, my legs on either side of his.

My finger braided themselves into his hair as he started in on my breasts licking and sucking my nipples. He wasted no time inserting two fingers into my pussy, his thumb attacking my clit. I liked this Edward: no talk, all action. My hips ground into him riding his fingers much like I had the other night, coming all too soon.

"Would you like to know how you really taste?" he purred into the hollow of my throat.

"Mmhmmm," I panted. This was a weekend of firsts, why stop now.

Edward staid the final motions of my hips and pulled his fingers out slowly. He watched my lips as I watched his. He brought his fingers slowly up to my mouth, teasing me, running his fingers along my bottom lip. He pulled his finger away slightly and watched as I licked my juices away, dragging my teeth across the surface, getting it all.

Another lust-ridden growl came up from his chest. He brought his fingers back up to my mouth, hesitating until my lips parted. My eyes slid closed and my tongue jutted out sweeping his fingers into my mouth, sucking all my sweetness clean off. It was sweet and salty all at the same time.

I opened my eyes as he slowly pulled his fingers away and suddenly he crushed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back. This kiss, another perfect kiss, was smothered with lust and need and most importantly, love.

**Next Chapter: Edward's POV**

**If you favorite me or my story, or have questions/comments, please leave a review. I email everyone back.**

**In the next chapter, I will further explain his rationale in letting this all go down. no pun intended.**

**Keep the comments coming. I'm still averaging 1 per 100 views. Oh well.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Stephenie owns it all.. you already knew that.**

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**Sorry it took more than my regular 4 day turn over to get to this, but I was just all caught up in Jake and Rosalie bumping and grinding, it was hard to get back into Edward's head. Anyway. Inspiration struck when I went to find a chair at work yesterday morning. So here it is.**

**Lili, I did not forget our conversation about venom and seminal fluid. **

**To all my TMs, I seriously love you guys.  
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**All little Edward angst, a little smut. ENJOY!!!**

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**Edward's POV  
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I wished there was a way to silence the part of myself, of my conscious that was screaming at me right now. For one, it was telling me to do things that I knew I should not do and telling me things that I knew it was unfair for me to desire. And mainly because that voice in the back of my head continued to sound just like Emmett. His logic was not flawed. I could not walk into our honeymoon suite completely unprepared. It would be dangerous for the both of us. And if by some miracle my control never faltered, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I made Bella even the slightest bit uncomfortable, especially on our wedding night.

She had given everything she had to give, her hand, her life, her heart and eventually her soul. I had to be able to grant her one and only request. And what good would it do me if I were unprepared.

I looked down at her sweet face, covered in the whipped cream that was quickly starting to dry. She gave her argument, her reasons why and I couldn't refute them. For so many reasons I could not understand why she could not understand that I needed nothing from her, that this was not something she needed to do to make me happy, but I saw it there in her face, in the tears building in her eyes, in the sincere words she spoke that this _was_ something that she needed. She needed to feel me the way I had felt her. She needed to show me physically, how much I meant to her. And I hurt her every time I told her no.

But I had to positive before I could agree to what she wanted. "Are you sure? I love you. I want to please you—" I started.

"But can't that go both ways. Can't I want to please you too? You enjoy getting me off, right?" Bella pleaded. The need and the pain it was causing in her spread across her face.

"Oh yes." I assured her. She would never know the pleasure it brought me, her reaction to my touch.

"Well why can't I? Why can't I make you feel that good?"

"You really want this?" I asked one more time.

"Yes," she sighed.

I couldn't fight her anymore. I couldn't stand to see that look in her eyes, that look that said my actions were leaving her incomplete, my restrictions, putting her at a painful disadvantage. "Then you shall have it." I conceded.

Bella was eager to please, so to speak. But I took her upstairs to clean us both up first. I didn't want the first time either of experienced this to be in a messy kitchen, Bella on her knees, covered in the remains of her dessert. Actually there was no part of me that wanted Bella on her knees period. It felt to demeaning.

I carried her up to my parents' bathroom and we undressed each other quickly. I would never rush Bella into any act, but I did want her naked body close to mine. She let me caress her nipples while she admired my length. I loved her breasts and considered briefly how nice it will be to spend eternity fondling them.

We climbed into the shower, the sticky mess washing instantly off my marble skin. I turned Bella, several times, washing her body and her hair. Her skin felt amazing under the warmth of the water.

When she was completely clean, I turned her once more, wrapping my arms around her elegant form, pulling her back to my chest, my erection pressing into her perfectly soft backside. I kissed her neck over and over, my hands roaming her body, up and down until the settled on her breasts, massaging them gently. Bella let out a soft moan and let her head fall back resting on my shoulder.

My lips brushed the length of her neck several more times, when she took a deep breath and turned to face me. The lust and the desire and most importantly the love burned in her eyes. I could tell she didn't want to waste one minute more, but the setting wasn't right.

"Let's not do this here," I murmured.

"But I thought—"she begged, the frustration clouding her face again.

"Yes, love we will, but I think you're knees will be regretting this tile floor after a few short minutes." She looked down, then up at me again. She seemed to catch my drift.

I carried her up to my room, wrapped in a towel. I was still dripping wet. When we got there I placed her gently on the bed. For the first time this weekend, I was truly nervous. I'd known, in a way the affect I had on her. The way her heart would skip a beat every time I leaned in to kiss her, the way her skin flushed pink at my touch. I had never truly let her affect me. I never truly gave in to her kiss, her caress, her touch. I never gave in to what her body could do to me. For once I had to let her be in control.

Bella unwrapped the towel from her body and draped it around my back, drying the few remaining beads of water.

I said, quietly looking down at her "I'm not really sure how to do this. I just want you to be as comfortable as possible." I watched her carefully while _she _carefully assessed the room and the situation.

Bella looked back at the bed, her decision made. She pulled the towel away bunching it in her lap. "Come lay up here," she said, biting her lip immediately after.

I climbed up on the bed, laying down behind her. I felt a little bit better when I saw her back expand and contract, her body taking in a cleansing breath. She was nervous too.

Before she turned I reigned in control of every muscle in my body except those around my pelvis. I cleared my mind of everything, except Bella and me.

And Emmett and Jasper's advice.

She turned after a moment and lay down next to me and I pulled her closer, one arm around her soft shoulder. I gently stroked the skin there.

She took another deep breath. I almost sat up. Did she really want this? She was so hesitant.

"Are you okay with this, Edward? Really?" she said searching my eyes for _my_ hesitation.

I answered her as truthfully as I could. "I am more than okay with anything that makes you happy, love." I was more than okay with it, but was I really ready. I put on a smile to reassure her.

"I love you," she whispered. I couldn't respond.

Finally after her third attempt, I let her descend.

Against my will my mind started racing. Was this going to be okay? Would I be able to let her finish what she was now starting? I had to remain calm, for my control and because I could not scare her. I would never forgive myself if I did.

I paced my breathing, in and out of my nose as her fingers and lips blazed a trail down my chest to my stomach. The heat from her mouth was enough to bring my arousal to life. She shifted slightly to the side, giving it room.

When she reached the bottom edge my abs, something occurred to me. Something that should have been so obvious.

The venom.

I had planned on having a detailed conversation with Carlisle about my bodily fluid before the wedding, but the events of this weekend, especially the last few hours had not been planned. I have no idea that Bella and I would find ourselves in this position. Surely Jasper and Emmett would have mentioned something if there were truly a danger.

Or would they? Did they even know? Emmett had never slept with a human as an immortal and Jasper always killed his human lovers immediately after.

The venom was there, in the salivating glands of our mouths and the moisture in our eyes, but I did not know how much of it was in my semen. Even if there were none, I couldn't risk Bella swallowing any of it. At best it would make her mildly uncomfortable. If horror upon horrors were to occur, an onslaught of venom would attack the pours of her throat, being absorbed into her blood stream, causing the change to start immediately. There was no way I could let that happen.

"Bella, you have to promise me you'll move when I tell you to." I insisted.

She stopped the motion of her lips, looking up at me. "I – I don't know how much venom there is. You must promise me you wont try to swallow."

Awareness struck her features. She immediately understood. And just as quickly her eyes softened to me, soothing me with one single look.

"I promise. Just tell me when," she breathed. I cupped her cheer in agreement. My angel slid down a little further. I lay my head back down on the pillow, took a deep breath and let the pleasure come.

The feeling of Bella's hand on me, like this, was indescribable. A forceful tingling sensation, rippled through my body. I let out deep breath, spreading the feeling out to my fingers and toes, but still willing control of my other muscles. What I could not control were the pants and low groans that escaped my chest when she put her mouth on me.

Bella took her time, stroking me, slowly licking the tip. It was incredible. Thinking of her tongue lapping the surface of that cherry only intensified my arousal. She paused briefly, probably gauging my reaction. I willed my body to remain completely still. Soon she bravely took me in her mouth, her hand covering the rest of my length. The tripled sensation of her grasp and her lips and tongue, began to test my control. I needed to touch her, to feel her fragile form under my fingertips as a constant reminded of my role in all this, to keep her safe.

My hand drifted down, resting gently in the tufts of her soft, silken hair. She drew in a sharp breath through her nose, while my hand followed the motion of her expert pace, up and down my length.

I felt her body move then. I looked down as she readjusted her position, giving her free hand access to her body. She began rubbing herself to the rhythm of her stroking. It was amazingly erotic to watch and my erection grew even more at the sight. She barely seemed to notice, compensating, sucking harder and longer, working her hand vigorously.

I was astonished and envious, that Bella could let herself go that the way. That she could let her arousal consume her completely, risk free. Nearly. Being with me was always a risk.

Suddenly, she moaned. The vibrations of her pleasure filled release rippled down my erection, causing my body to tense and writhe slightly under her touch. I had never known pleasure like this. My brothers were right, the feel of it, beyond good, utterly amazing.

"Bella," I moaned, an involuntary, but completely accurate reaction to what she was doing to me. Her speed and pressure increased and so did the mind-blowing sensations. The hunter growled then, aching to be released. I took my hand away from her head, not completely trusting my strength as I prepared to unleash him from my careful hold. There was no way I could contain him anymore.

My body tensed.

"Bella, move," I ordered, nearly growled. Quickly she jumped from the bed, watching my body mesmerized as my hips began to writhe and convulse. My hand gripped the iron headboard, tearing out two of the struts, pulverizing a handful of the black flowers and leaves. Bella was completely oblivious to the sound of the iron snapping, still watching as my seed spilled forth.

I watched her eyes carefully, while trying to regain control of my body. I saw it there, the worst parts of my nature, attracting her to me. I could see the muscles in her thighs and around her mouth twitching. My scent again, was calling out to her and Bella was about to let her curiosity and her desire get the best of her.

She took a step forward.

"Bella, No!" A loud guttural snarl ripped from my chest. She held herself, taking a step back. I released the headboard and grabbed the towel on the bed and wiped away what I could. I wanted to touch her, hold her to me, but I couldn't let any of it get on her or anywhere near her.

I jumped out of the bed quickly. My brain had not been forced to think this fast in over a month. I ran to Rose and Emmett's bathroom, warping the handle on the faucet.

"Shit," I cursed aloud. I still hadn't regained control. The water poured out and I grabbed a hand towel, and quickly washed myself off.

I had too many emotions running through me. Fear that I had frightened Bella, growling at her then running from the room. And more fear that she was right now cognizant enough to realize the damage I had done to the bed, the damage I could have done to her. Guilt, that I had even yelled at her in the first place. Relief, enormous relief, both, to be free from a century of sexual repression and that _I hadn't_ injured her physically. And desire. I needed her in my arms again. I needed to make her feel how she just made me felt.

I took several deep breaths, relaxing my arms and my legs, smoothing away the conflicting emotions on my brow. I would have to tell Alice to order another bed and in the meantime conceal the damage I had done. I grabbed a large towel from the rack and wrapped it around my waist, then one extra and ran back up to my room.

I was gone less than five seconds.

Bella stood in the same exact position looking at the door, her expression blank. This was a good sign. I knew how she would react to me. I simply had to do something that would cause a positive, distracting, consuming reaction.

I threw the extra towel over the tears in the headboard and took her by the hand, leading her to my couch. She followed, still in a daze. I didn't want to give her time to think, so I did the one thing that was sure to take her mind off what had just transpired. Quickly I pulled her into my lap, her soft legs straddling mine.

I wasted no time hoisting her up, supporting her with one hand, and using the other guide her soft breast into my mouth. Once her nipple was safe in the confines of my lips, I took my hand away and started massaging her soft, wet pussy lips, finishing the job she had started on the bed. Her fingers gripped the hair at the base of my neck and I shivered again at the warmth as my fingers entered her.

I did the things I knew she liked, my tongue lapping at her nipples, my thumb rubbing gentle circles on her clit, while I gave her the leverage to grind her body onto my fingers at her own pace. Her heartbeat was hammering nearly out of control.

I looked up at her watching her face as she began to come and then came again and again. I was mesmerized by her lips as they parted, entranced by the moans and the pants and mostly the way she sighed my name. Bella was the sexiest, most erotic creature I had ever laid my eyes on.

Soon she was done.

"Would you like to know how you really taste?" I asked kissing the hollow of her throat. Maybe the feel of her own juices on her lips would satiate this sexual desire she had to taste mine, now clearly off limits.

"Mmmhmmm," she panted in response. She was still riding the final waves of her last orgasm.

My erection had calmed now that I was back in total control. I removed my fingers and let Bella rest gently across my lap. I steadied her hips from any more gyrations that would quickly undo all of my efforts. Her scent continued to engulf me.

I looked at her mouth, gazing at her plump full lips. I took my finger tips coated with her sweet juices, and spread them across her bottom lip. She lapped it up faithfully, using her teeth to skim the surface, making sure she got every last drop. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I couldn't help but let a lust ridden growl rip through my chest at the sight. She opened her eyes then, looking down at me. She wanted more.

Bella's eyes closed again and she eagerly took my fingers into her mouth. I watched as she licked and sucked them clean, her tongue wrapped around my fingers. Without thinking I pulled my fingers away and began kissing her feverishly. She kissed me right back with just as much force, just as much desire and just as much love. I rolled us slowly, laying her down on the couch under me. I silently thanked the god of secure tucking when my towel willed itself to stay in place.

My hands explored her body and hers caressed the muscles of my back. Bella sighed and whimpered as my fingers lightly trailed up and down her thigh. She began bucking her hips into me chasing more friction.

I had to stop her. I had to stop us both, because in a matter of seconds I would tear away the towel and I would be inside of her. As much as that idea excited me, I couldn't do that to her. Not here on my couch.

"Bella we have to stop," I panted against her lips.

"I know," she said swallowing another lust filled lump in her throat. I looked down at her in surprise as she pushed me up, one hand on my chest. I moved off of her, sliding further down the couch. She took a deep breath and sat up, running her fingers through her hair. "Are you okay?" Bella asked. She was still breathing a little hard. So was I.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just shocked. I didn't think you'd want to stop." I told her.

"I don't, but I know we should." She scooted closer to me, putting her hand my cheek. I gently kissed her palm. "Edward you've been amazing. I don't want push you any further. And I do want our wedding night to be something special."

"I know. It will be, love."

"I know, but I mean I want our first time to be _after_ we are husband and wife. I want to be yours completely, in every way." The shift in Bella's mentality continued to amaze me. Would she ever know how much I truly loved her?

I pulled her legs onto my lap and started to play with her toes. She leaned the side of her head against the couch and sighed.

"Are you sure you're okay? I know that was a lot." She glanced suggestively towards the bed. Just like Bella, always concerned about me, never for her own safety. I couldn't let her know how terrified I had been just minutes before.

"Yes, love. I'm fine. It was just a lot different than what I expected, but I'm fine trust me. More than fine actually. I feel wonderful."

"Really? You're sure?" She looked at me, doubting my enthusiasm. Her expression was so adorable.

"Yes. I'm positive." I laughed.

"And how was it on your control? I know that must have been difficult for you." God, I wish she hadn't asked me that. I hated lying to her.

"It was fine, sweetheart, really." I'd keep it simple and brief. No need to let her know that it took every ounce of strength I had just to let her touch me the way other humans did all the time. She pursed her lips, thinking of more questions.

"Bella," I interrupted her pondering. She looked at me, urging me to continue. I gently rubbed her cute little pinky toe. "I'm sorry I growled at you before. I just didn't want you to get hurt. With the venom and –"

"Edward, I'm glad you did," she said honestly.

"Why?" I asked confused. I knew I was right to have stopped her, but I had been so forceful, so harsh.

Her cheeks flushed and then she buried her forehead in the cushions. "Because you smell so good. And what I could taste, tasted so good. I wanted more." She opened one eye, cautiously awaiting my reaction. I liked this new side of Bella, although potentially dangerous, it was plain hot. My sexy little tiger-kitten.

"Is that so?"

She nodded, cheeks flushing even more. I noticed for the first time that the blood colored the skin of her shoulders, her breasts. It was a delicious sight.

"And Miss Swan did you like the way _you_ taste?" I teased. I could certainly go for a repeat performance of Bella licking her own sweetness off any part of my body.

She nodded, laughing this time, hiding her face again.

"I see." I smiled at my own smugness. This part, this part of her was something I should not have kept cooped up. I continued to rub her feet gently, minding their temperature.

Finally her embarrassment subsided and she spoke.

"Well I know you, you know finished, but did _you_ enjoy it?" Did I enjoy the crippling fear, the anxiety of the danger I was putting her in, No? Did I enjoy everything else…

"Of course, I did. But sweetheart, this wasn't about me-"

"Yeah, yeah I know. But I still want to know if you enjoyed it, if there was some part of it you didn't like."

Besides almost breaking the bed in half?

"I loved every part. Especially when you started—you know," I teased. She flashed red again. "Got a little carried away, didn't you?"

"Shut up," she laughed. "I just got caught up in the moment."

"Please feel free to get caught up like that any time."

"Well I'm just happy you liked it."

"I did, Bella very much."

"Good. Come on. Let's…" she trailed off looking around the room. It was a complete mess and my family would be home shortly.

"Don't worry about this. It'll only take me a few seconds. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll meet you down stairs."

"I should start on the kitchen, huh? There's probably dried whipped cream everywhere."

I leaned in closer, kissing her gently on the forehead. "Don't worry about it, love. I'll take care of it."

"Okay," she whispered. She started to stand up slowly, blushing. She looked down, realizing she was completely naked. I found her robe and put it over her shoulders.

"Thanks," she smiled. "It's still a little – different, being naked with you and all."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I chuckled and readjusted my towel.

Bella grabbed an armful of clean clothes and shuffled off to Alice's room to freshen up and change. Once I could hear her heartbeat safely on the floor below, I assessed the damage I did to the headboard. It was pretty mangled. I had no idea how Bella didn't notice.

Looking at it, confusion and anger clouded my thoughts. What if that had been Bella? What if I lost control, my hand on the back of her head? I would have to work on this. I would have to get further clear instruction from Carlisle and my brothers before I made love to her. I was able to please her all weekend long and keep her safe, but I did not forget Jasper and Emmett's words. What I had experience with Bella was only a fraction of the pleasure I would feel when we finally made love. Would I really be able to control myself in the moment, her warm body pressed against me, my length buried within her. I wanted to give Bella all of me. But I wouldn't be able to. I could never lose control.

I grabbed our dirty clothes out of my room and buzzed down to the bathroom to grab my pants, sweater and Bella's panties off the floor. I ran to Rose and Emmett's bathroom to get the dirty towel I left there.

Back in my room I stripped the bed, flipping the mattress for the time being. Then after I threw the linens and our clothes in the washing machine. I grabbed fresh sheet and blankets from Esme massive linen closet, making sure to grab an extra throw to artfully drape over the headboard.

I, then, flew down stairs, making quick work of the mess in the kitchen. The blankets Bella had been wrapped in had actually captured most of the whipped cream that splattered off of us.

I listened carefully for Bella. She was dressing now. I went back upstairs, packed her things and quickly dressed, grabbing my cell off the night stand. Alice had promised to call me when they were close.

A few minutes later. Bella found me at the bottom of the stairs waiting patiently for her. She walked in front of me, running her fingers through my hair.

"Alice should be calling soon," I said closing my eyes. I wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer.

"I know. I wish I could stay longer. What do you want to do in the meantime?"

I looked at her, smirking. "Well in the interest of preserving the purpose of our wedding night, I say we watch some TV."

"Sounds like a good idea," she chuckled. I let her take my hand and lead me to the couch. As we were walking my phone rang. It was Alice.

"Hey."

"So I think we're going to stay another day. It's supposed to rain tomorrow oddly enough. --- No Rose the purple one," Alice said, multitasking like usual. I paused still standing. Bella made herself comfortable on the couch. "Bella can stay another night if you want. Well she can always spend the night, but I mean you guys can have another night alone if you want. I can have Esme talk to Charlie, assure him that everything is on the up and up."

"Let me talk to her and I'll call you back," I replied.

"You know she'll say yes, but whatever. Bye." Alice hung up.

"What is it?" Bella asked reaching out for my hand. I took it, but remained standing.

"They are spending another night in Los Angeles. Would you maybe want to stay here with me another night?"

Bella thought for a minute. I could see the different emotions flash across her face, confusion, worry, excitement then doubt. She pursed her lips no doubt considering the possibilities. Her heartbeat quickened, but only a little. I considered the odds of concealing that headboard for another day.

"I—I want to but…" She trailed off.

"You're afraid we really wont make it to the honeymoon?" I questioned. She blushed madly.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Don't worry, Bella. You're not that irresistible," I teased.

"Ha. Ha. – No I'd like that. I just need to call Charlie. At least leave him a message."

"You want Esme to talk to him? Give him the illusion that all the ladies are here," I suggested.

"That's a good idea," she said.

"Come on." I led Bella into the kitchen and picked up the receiver to the house phone. I dialed Esme's cell, got her on the line, then called Charlie on three way. "Esme knows what to do," I whispered and handed Bella the phone.

_Hello,_ Charlie answered on the third ring.

"Hey, Dad."

_Hey, honey. You coming home soon?_ Something was off about his voice. He sounded a little hesitant.

"Actually, Carlisle just called and said the boys are going to spend another day hiking. They wont be back until tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to stay another night with Alice, go over some wedding stuff." She made a face at me, a small smile, hoping he was buying it. I nodded to her, reminding her Esme was on the line. "Dad hold on Esme wants to talk to you," She said.

_Okay, _his voice was still a little reluctant. I wished I could get a clear read on his thoughts.

_Charlie? Hi, how are you doing? _Esme chimed in, laying it on just thick enough.

_Hello Esme. I'm fine dear. How are you?_

_I'm wonderful. Charlie, Bella is more than welcome to stay. Alice is sort of on a roll with flower arrangements and things. We'd love to have her another night._

_No, no. Carnations are for funerals and people you hate, _ Alice yelled in the background for affect. Bella and I both held our laughter.

_That's not a problem. _Charlie concluded.

_Wonderful. Here she is._

Bella waited a beat a then spoke.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" she continued.

_Suure._ He paused. _I'll see you tomorrow kiddo._

"Dad, you okay?" Bella's eyebrow scrunched together. I rubbed the curve of her shoulder.

_Sure Bells. I'll talk to you later. Kiss Alice for me._

"I will, Dad. Bye," Bella handed me back the phone. I clicked over and got Esme back.

"You two have fun. Alice has a ton of presents for you both," Esme laughed.

"We will mom. Thank you."

"Bye, sweetheart." I hung up the phone and turned back to Bella. She gazed up at me amazed.

"What is it, love?"

"Do you understand how incredible your family is?"

"I do, but…"

"But what?" She asked skeptically, wondering what in the world I could say to amend her very true statement.

"My family will be more incredible once you're apart of it." I kissed her gently on the forehead.

"I bet," she chuckled. "So _now_ what do you want to do?"

----

**So I'm thinking I can force 2 maybe 3 more chapters out of this. You can thank TWILIGHTLVER for that. She came up with a loop hole to extend their weekend. Sorry. I am so glad so many of you like. I'll be busy with Emmett and his ski trip for a little while, so if you need a fix read my other story SO OBVIOUS.**

**Thanks for all the awesome emails. Keep 'em coming. I don't bite.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Stephenie owns the characters, I own the smut.**_

_**---**_

**This chapter is for Tiggrmommi, because I love her.**_**  
**_

**I was 8 ways of wrapped up in my other story NEVER KNEW. I kept thinking about losing my virginity and getting into fist fights, so it was hard to get back the citrusy--romance of this story.**

**For some reason I had guilt issues when it came to this story, like I was doing something very bad to a very innocent young couple.**

**AND THEN I REMEMBERED … about half why through Twilight Bella asks Edward if and when they'll be able to have sex. And now I don't feel so bad. Bella wants to bone him throughout all four books and spends a great deal of time in her "happy place" _thinking_ about having sex with Edward. So now I don't feel bad at all. ENJOY!**

**---**

**Bella's POV  
**

This had been, hands down the most amazing weekend of my life. I had gone into it frustrated, but happy. Happy that I was going to spend some much needed alone time with Edward. Even if that alone time would be spent fully clothed in front of the television.

But one bath, three solo and one combined shower, one ice cream sundae and one very romantic fireside chat later, I felt like a different person. Not that it wasn't without its hiccups, but Edward and I were able to explore each others bodies. He was perfect, excellent at everything he did, every way he kissed me and every way he touched me.

And too, I couldn't believe it. Edward had actually let me go down on him. Well most shockingly he'd let me see him naked, but he'd let me pleasure him and of course he tasted amazing.

I would have to kiss Alice, when she got back, for whatever excuse she had come up with to give Edward and I another night alone. But what would we do now? Had he reached he limits of what he felt he could do? I trusted him and I knew he could control his strength. Not once while I was tasting him did I fear for my safety or fear that he would slip. But Edward, although newly liberated in all these magnificent ways, was still Edward. His fears had not completely disappeared and I think the both of us would only let things go so far.

We walked back into the living room and fell back onto the couch. Well he gracefully spread himself onto the cushions and my toe got caught on the leg and I fell on him. He caught me gently, steadying me in his arms.

"Shucks. I almost made it a whole 3 days," I smirked at him.

"Oh Bella, what will I do when your hand, eye, foot coordination is in perfect order?" His golden eyes sparkled at me as he pulled me closer to his chest. I closed my eyes, my lips ready and willing and then my cell phone rang.

I pulled it out of my bag. I was not at all surprised when Charlie called back not even ten minutes later. He sounded strange when we spoke before, not so much distracted, but almost a little concerned. I didn't want to ask him about it because I didn't want to drag our conversation out. The less time I spent lying to him on the phone, the less likely I was to slip up and rat myself out.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey Bells. I have some bad news," Charlie said. There was a moment when terror truly struck. Something had happened to Jacob. Something horrible. I held back the tremors of fear, until I got the confirmation.

"What is it Dad?" I choked. I couldn't look at Edward. I knew the look on my face would terrify him and I was trying so hard to stick to my self-made promise, that Jacob would never affect my relationship with Edward ever again.

"It's your truck," Charlie's voice was full of remorse. "I tried to move her into the driveway, Bells and she wont start. I took a look and the engine is just fried."

"Oh." My tone was mixed with shock and relief and confusion. At least Jacob was okay, sort of. But my truck. She was such a trooper. How could she crap out on me now?

I looked up at Edward. His face was blank, expressionless as he continued to listen.

"I'm sorry honey. Maybe tomorrow we can go down to Port Angeles and see if we can find you a replacement." I thought about it for a moment. That would be okay. I would miss my truck. It was a part of who I was, part of my new life, but I did need to get around. Maybe I could find a used Jetta or maybe another beat up truck or something hideous with wood paneling.

"Yeah, Dad. That would be fine." I agreed.

"I'll start looking in the paper and see if I can find anything. You and Alice have fun."

"We will Dad, Thank you. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Honey."

I hung up and leaned back into Edward's marble embrace.

"Are you okay?" he asked sincerely.

"Yeah," I pouted. "I love that truck."

"I know sweetheart. Well what would you say if I told you that a trip to Port Angeles wasn't necessary?"

I love Edward, I really do, but sometimes…

"What did you do?" I accused.

"Me?" He laughed, guilty as hell. "I didn't do anything."

"Okay. Well, what did Rosalie do? Did you have her sneak over to my house and remove some screws from my transmission?"

"No. Why would I do that?" His eyes were wide with faux shock.

"Cause you have your _gift giving_ face on and you know how I feel about that face," I said.

"Bella, I can assure you I have no idea what you are talking about. I already told you. We are engaged. What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. And something can't technically be a gift if it's a necessity." He rattled off nearly the same speech he had given me when he gave me my cell phone and the credit card I never used.

"There's no way out of this, is there? You bought me some million dollar luxury sedan and you're gonna make me drive it," I whined.

"Not exactly. But I do have an – item that was purchased for you to use. And Bella, you know I would never_ make_ you_ do_ anything." he said carefully, avoiding any word that suggested what it truly was, a gift. And he was right. He would never _make_ me do anything. He could just smile or kiss me and then I'd end up with a 5 karat diamond hanging from my wrist or ENGAGED! He was such a cheater.

"Fine," I huffed. Edward stood and held out his hand.

"Please, madam. Follow me." Again with that crooked grin, his golden eyes taunting me.

He led me into the garage and turned on all the lights. We walked to the far corner, beyond the Jeep and the Volvo, the Porche, past the Aston Martin and the Ducati he'd handed over to Jasper.

There in the far depths was a large mass draped in a white curtain.

"Would you like to do the honors?" He asked gently, his velvet voice melting my insides, but not enough for me not to find the whole situation mildly annoying. I'd go to Emmett. He'd tell me who killed my truck. He wasn't afraid of Edward.

"Sure," I huffed rolling my eyes. I grabbed the corner closest to me and pulled.

There sat a shiny, black, four door Mercedes. I don't know anything about cars, but something about this car was different. I had seen BWMs like Rosalie's in Phoenix and I'd seen cars like Carlisle's AMG on television and one time when I was with Charlie in California. But I had never seen anything like this.

It was almost too sleek. Too chiseled, like it should belong to a dignitary or someone involved in a lot of illegal activities. Every window was tinted even the front windshield which I'm pretty sure isn't legal. Charlie would have something to say about that.

The shiny black exterior mocked me. This was not a car designed for Bella Swan. But of course Edward thought it was made_ just_ for Bella Cullen.

"Alice will be mad I didn't wait for her to show you, but its okay. You can drive it home tomorrow," he beamed.

I snorted.

"I'm not driving that." It slipped out. I closed my eyes, waiting for the hurt on his face to subside. God, I was so insensitive. Taking a deep breath, I turned and looked up at him. His face was clear, but the hurt still lingered in his topaz eyes. _Way to go, Bella_. "Edward it's just so obvious. I mean, there is no way to be casual in this car. It's beautiful---"

"And so are you. I just wanted you to have it," he said softly.

With that I hung my head, holding out my hand. I could just hear him smiling as he fished the key out of his pocket. I wondered how long he had been walking around with it, just waiting for the right moment. I imagined his pockets literally bottomless. I silently prayed he wouldn't pull out the gate key to a castle in France.

"Want to take her for a spin?" he asked.

"Sure," I caved. "But you have to back it out." I could just see myself taking out the motorcycle and the Porche.

He opened the garage door and I walked out into the driveway and waited for him to pull the car out.

I could see the word GUARDIAN sealed on the back in plated silver. Cute Edward. Really Cute.

He stopped next to me and got out.

"Your chariot," he smiled at me.

"Yeah, yeah." I slid past him and climbed into the car. It then occurred to me that I had never actually experienced new car smell. All of the Cullen cars were laced with their delicious scent, honey and sunshine and I'm not sure Charlie or Renee new the meaning of the word new. In this car I could smell the newness of the leather, the subtle hints of the newly molded plastic. It was nice.

Edward was in the passenger seat before I even closed my door. He pressed one of the seven thousand buttons on the dash and a display screen lit up.

"Here you can customize the car to each individual driver. So say if you want to let Charlie race her down to the station ---" he stopped when he got a glimpse at the look on my face. "What's wrong?"

"Charlie."

"What about him?"

"How am I supposed to explain this to him?"

"I'll just tell him it was an early wedding present. Bella he didn't say anything about the Aston Martin."

"Yeah I guess." Charlie was not opposed to fine German engineering, but I didn't want him to feel like the Cullen's wealth was being thrust upon _him_ just because Edward and I were getting married.

"You want me to get him one too?" Edward asked.

"NO!"

He laughed. "Bella, don't worry. I'll smooth it over with him. Now this button right here," he leaned over me, his cool breath caressing my face. I could taste it on my tongue and it was making my mouth water. He turned his head slightly glancing up at me. His spoke slower then, his voice dripping like thick molasses. "this will automatically adjust your seat every time."

"Okay," I breathed. I completely forgot about the car. His pulled his hand back from the far side of the seat, dragging his fingertips across my stomach.

"Where would you like to go?" he purred. I blinked looking at his lips. Go … we were going somewhere?

"I don't care," I almost whispered. Why did he have to do that to me, touch me and look at me that way. I'd drive us off a cliff if he kept it up. He tilted his head up a little more and softly pressed his lips to mine. This kiss reminded me of our old kisses, soft and restrictive. I could almost count the seconds, because like clockwork, he pulled away. He'd reached his limit.

He settled back into his seat and turned his attention back to the center console. I forced myself to pay attention, a little heartbroken that he was pulling away, retreating again to his safe distance. Would we ever get it right and keep it that way?

"So remember this car is much more sensitive then the truck, so just a little pressure on the gas and little pressure on the break. It'll respond to your body's instructions." I stared at him for a minute. He wasn't looking at the car anymore, he was looking at me, more specifically, his eyes were on my breasts.

He glanced up at me and then leaned forward once more, our lips meeting softly. His cool fingers curved around the back of my neck. I held almost perfectly still. What was going on with him? His lips gently caressed mine, his tongue gently teasing me. My head was swimming, tasting him in my mouth. My body was responding to him differently now. My panties were instantly wet. I couldn't help thinking of the things he had done to me in the past two days, the amazing things he had done to my body. My mind, now had the fodder, my body now had expectations. I knew _now_ the different things kisses like this could lead to.

He quickly pulled away with a groan, dropping his head.

"I'm sorry Bella," he sighed in frustration.

"Why?" I asked. He didn't do anything wrong.

"I just—I don't trust myself. I don't trust my control," he said.

"What? Why? We were just kissing." I pleaded.

"I know, but I can feel it on your skin and I can hear your heart and I can smell – you don't want me to stop. And I –" I couldn't take it. His expression was so pained. This was ridiculous. Suddenly I found myself regretting the whole weekend. I should have never pushed him like this. A few orgasms were not worth seeing him like this way. But, no I had to be selfish and now he was torturing himself all over again.

"What Edward? You what?" I grabbed his face in my hands, searching his eyes smoldering eyes desperately for answers.

"_I_ don't want to," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"You don't want to what? Edward, please tell me," I begged. I would never push him again.

"I don't want to stop."

The words just hung there in the air.

It was almost perfectly silent. All I could hear was my heartbeat, our breath and the purr of the engine.

I slowly took my hands away from his face as I looked down at all the controls and the dials between us. This was going to be a difficult few weeks. It was one thing when I was fighting against Edward. It was different when I knew in the back of my head that he would never do more than kiss me, no matter how much I begged and pleaded or rubbed up against him. But now, there was one thing were we _both_ trying to preserve. I _did_ want us to wait until our wedding night to make love and of course Edward did too. But now, with our guards down, with Edward's realization that we could touch each other intimately and_ safely_, which one of us would be the one, which one of would have the presence of mind to know _when_ to stop.

It would have to be me.

I slid the car into to drive and slowly eased down on the gas, it shot forward down the drive, but after a few seconds I got my bearings and smoothly guided us onto the main road. I didn't have any specific destination. I just thought it was safe to head away from Forks. No one could see inside the car, but I was still afraid of running into Charlie or someone who might mention they'd seen Edward and I together.

Edward rested his head back against the seat, his eyes closed. He let out one frustrated sigh, but as the minutes passed he began to breathe rhythmically. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was sleeping.

I drove south for an hour or so, getting a feel for the car. It was an extremely smooth ride, still not suited for me, but pleasant.

When we neared the limits of Port Angeles he finally spoke. "Would you like to go to a restaurant?"

"No," I replied softly. I remembered the one and only time we'd dined out. Something about the way he had to decline food in public made me uncomfortable. I pulled the car into a parking lot of a CVS, one of the few chain stores the small city had to offer. "Are you feeling better now?" I asked. I wanted to touch his hand or something, but I was afraid to.

He breathed deep again and turned to look at me. "Bella. I don't know what to do---"

"Before you say anything else. You need to know that I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me exactly what's on your mind. Tell how you really feel about all of this so we can handle it together," I insisted. He gazed at me for a moment.

"I am – afraid. I want you so bad and I feel awful every time I stop in the middle of things. I hate making you feel rejected," apparently I hadn't concealed that very well. "I hate that there's even the possibility that I might hurt you, that I might lose control. Isabella, you have no idea how badly I want to make love to you." My core twitched.

"Edward, I know," I practically whispered.

"You are about to be my wife and I can't even touch you the way I want to. I wanted to keep pleasuring you, but I don't – I don't know if I can. I don't --"

"Edward let me ask you something," I had to talk him off the edge. This was unnecessary. "What was your goal for this weekend?"

"To make you feel good physically and for the both of us to be more comfortable with each other, in that way."

"Well part one was _definitely_ taken care of and I've never been more comfortable with you than I am right now. Are you uncomfortable with me touching you, being close to you?" I could be setting myself up, but I had to know.

He paused for a moment, which wasn't a good sign. Vampires don't _need a moment_, typically. I wanted to look away, but I didn't want him to think his silence or his hesitation was hurting me. Edward and I were about to spend an eternity together and I had to get used to the idea that at some point in, oh I don't know, thousands and thousands of years, he might have to tell me something I don't like, something that might actually hurt my feelings. I was a big girl and I could handle that and know that if the next words out of his mouth _did _hurt, they didn't mean that he didn't love me.

"Before, when I didn't know what is was like to be with you this way, when I didn't know how much joy it would bring me seeing your body react in certain ways, it was easy for me to refrain. It was easy for me to stop whatever you thought was going to happen in its tracks, but now I'm finding that I want more. And I don't like the way that makes me feel. It's not that I'm not in control of my strength, Bella. I'm not in control of my desires." He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I mean there are things I want to do with you, to you…" he struggled to say the words, his brow contorting with painful effort.

I knew then exactly what the problem was. Edward was having desires, fantasies, that he didn't think were _proper,_ for lack of a better word. He was such a practiced gentleman, almost priding himself in not viewing intimate relationship the way, say, Emmett did. He was looking at me in away that went beyond love, a way that focused on my physical being and that made him uncomfortable. Edward felt like he was objectifying me.

I placed my hand on his cheek and Edward gently placed his hand over mine, holding it there. Slowly he traced the curve at the base of my hand and long the lines of my wrist with his nose.

I thought for a moment. I was between a rock and a very hard place.

"Were you planning on executing another part of your plan? I mean before we left the house, did you have some of the 'plan -o- pleasure' in place for me tonight?" I asked with a smirk. FINALLY his golden eyes turned back to calm liquid pools and a small smile spread across his lips.

"Yes, love. I had hoped to—"

"Okay, that's all you had to say," I said, putting the car into reverse.

"Bella, what do you—"

"Edward, don't worry. Just relax. Actually," I put the car in park, sticking a few feet out of the space. Good thing this particular CVS wasn't crowded on a Sunday night. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but can you drive? We'll get home faster."

"Sure," he smiled. It was the first time I_ told_ him to take my life into his hands.

Edward got out of the car and instead of zipping around to my side, he walked nearly at human speed to the front of the car. I got out and walked up to him.

His arms wrapped around me and he gently rubbed the small of my back. I looked up at him, letting his delicious breath fan across my face.

"Do you understand how much I love you? Do you have any idea?" I asked.

"I think I just might," he purred, bending down to press his wintry lips to mine.

"I do like the car, by the way," I admitted. Even though I knew I'd look ridiculous in it, it was still a nice car and I might as well let him know. It wasn't like he would take it back.

"I thought you might," he grinned smugly.

Edward bombed out of the lot and immediately I closed my eyes. I knew he would go way over the speed limit and it would hurt my eyes to watch the headlights speed down the wooded road. But a few moments later Edward told me to open my eyes. When I did, everything was completely black. He didn't need the headlights to see the road in front of him.

The car was so smooth on the road it didn't even feel like we were moving. I didn't dare look at the speedometer, but I did catch a glimpse of the GSP tracking on the dashboard monitor. The progress we were making was ridiculous.

In less than 20 minutes, we were back, pulling into the garage. We walked back inside hand in and hand.

"Are you hungry, love?" he asked sweetly.

"No, but I do need your help with something."

"Okay," he said, his tone riddled with confusion.

"First, where do you keep the extra blankets?"

"Closet next to Esme and Carlisle's room."

"Okay. Do me a favor. Go into the living room and get a fire going. Please."

"Are you going to tell me what you're up to?" he asked probably wishing he could read my mind now more than ever.

"Nope. Here. Follow me." I took Edward by the hand and pulled him into the living room. "Stay." I put my hands on his shoulders, stopping him by the door. Edward froze and I ran upstairs towards the linen closet. I pulled open the doors and searched for something I could lay on, naked. The Cullens had so many white linens. Having no skin flakes must be nice. I finally I unearthed a dark green sheet and a black plush blanket.

I skipped back down the stairs. A huge fire was going in the fireplace, but Edward was standing exactly where I told him to stay.

I threw the blankets down on the couch and then I grabbed the large arm chair from the corner. It was pretty heavy, but I managed.

"Would you like some help?" Edward asked eying me like I was crazy.

"No," I grunted. "I got it." I'd make him put it back. I almost tore something carrying it.

When the chair was in place, I grabbed the blanket and spread it over the white carpet in front of the fireplace, as safe distance from the flames. I draped the green sheet over the blanket.

"Okay, come here." I beckoned Edward towards me.

He slowly walked over to where I was standing in front of the chair. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my system. From this point on, there would be no need for me to rush.

"I'm intrigued. I must say, Bella. You are going to some lengths right now."

"Yes, moving a chair and putting some linens on the floor is really something," I smirked at him. "Why don't you have a seat." Edward complied, sinking into the arm chair, eying me curiously. I walked over to the other side of the room and kicked off my shoes and took off my fleece and my socks.

My system was overloaded for sure. I never really thought I would find myself in this situation, but I wanted to do something for him, anything for him that let him know the things he was thinking and the feelings he was feeling were okay. They were more than okay, they were only natural.

"So I was wondering…" I started walking back towards the blankets slowly, standing in front of Edward, just out of his reach. Not that it actually meant anything, but I could at least I was in somewhat control of the situation. "If I asked you to tell me something, something _explicit_ or maybe something embarrassing, would you really tell me the truth?"

"Of course I would, love," he said with a smile. He answered too fast, the little liar.

"I see." I looked down at my hands, now drifting to the top button of my shirt. One thing that _had_ definitely changed was the way I felt about myself. I could see myself now as a sexual creature. I took my time very, very slowly unbuttoning the first button and then the next.

"So if I asked you," and the next button "how often you fantasized about me," and the next, "would you answer me, honestly?" I glanced up at Edward. He was leaning to one side, his arm up on the rest, his hand cradling his forehead, watching me carefully. His eyes were stunning, the golden flecks dancing in the firelight. But I couldn't let him distract me.

My shirt was all the way unbuttoned now, but I left it draped over my shoulders.

"Hmmm?" I encouraged.

"I would say I think about you fairly often." Such an Edward answer.

"I know you think about me, but how often do you _fantasize_ about me Edward? Sexually." The button on my jeans was now undone and I had pulled down the zipper. Edward switched his posture to the other side, resting his fingers of his right hand against his temple. I pulled my jeans off, slowly, stepping out of them. I grabbed them and tossed them in the corner.

"I fantasize about you a great deal," his voice was low and husky, dripping with lust.

I pulled my shirt off and threw it on top of my jeans.

"Edward, do you feel bad when you fantasize about me?" I would use my body to coax the truth out of him. I knew I wasn't fighting fair, but whatever. He has the mouthwatering breath and the glowing eyes and the super human strength and the stunning good looks. I had a really neat key chain that Renee had given me and a decent collection of books.

"I wouldn't say I feel bad. I just feel there is more to you than your physical appeal," he said slowly. The velvety layers of his voice were making my insides aching and throb.

"That is true," I agree casually.

I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra and shrugged out of it. It landed with the rest of my clothes. I left my panties on, another white cotton pair from what was starting to feel like an endless supply. They weren't as good as the black lace ones, but they'd have to do.

I brought my hands up to my breasts and started massaging them both slowly. I was mildly aware of how good it felt, but I was more focused on Edward. I knew this look on his face, this glint in his eye. My hunter was back.

I tilted my head back and swept my head over my shoulder. My hand quickly returned to my nipple. I knew I wasn't going to get him to talk, but maybe if I led by example, he would follow.

"Would you believe that I fantasize about you _a lot_?" I breathed. It was incredibly wet between my legs now. I kept my eyes down then, focusing on my body, only occasionally glancing up at Edward. His tawny gaze was becoming a distraction.

"Is that so?" he growled.

I stuck my finger in mouth, licking the tip. Then I brought it back down to my nipple, spreading the moisture around. I watched my nipple react, becoming more and more erect. "Yep." My right hand drifted down my body, caressing the skin between my breasts, moving down to the curves of my stomach.

"Would you like to know what I think about?" I asked. My hand was working its way into my panties. I knew how to touch myself now, well sort of. I knew how to touch my clit, the way I liked it. I knew what felt nice. Hopefully if I worked at it enough I could make myself come, for Edward.

"Yes, Bella." Edward leaned back in the chair, his hands carefully tented in front of his face. "I would."

I sighed a bit as my finger grazed my clit, once. Electricity shot through my body. I pulled hand out of my panties and slid them off. I bunched them in my hand and took a few steps closer to Edward. I knew my scent drove him crazy and my panties were dripping with it, literally.

"Would you like to keep these?" I asked holding the small piece of fabric out for him. He looked up at me through his black eyelashes. My shadow spread across his face, but I could still see his eyes, glowing. He swallowed slightly then held out his hand. I placed my panties in his hand.

"Thank you," he nearly whispered. I backed up slowly, but the whole time I watched him. The hand with the panties dropped, resting back on the arm of the chair and his other hand went back up to his temple. With a subtle movement, her rotated my panties between his fingers, bringing the wet center of the fabric between his thumb and his forefinger. He rubbed it while he watched me.

I slowly sunk to the floor in front of him, again just out of reach. I leaned back, slightly, supporting my weight with my left arm. I spread my legs, bending them at the knee. I knew the light from the fire was casting me in a deep shadow, but that didn't matter. Edward didn't need any light to see.

My right hand went back to my mouth. I licked my fingertips and ran them across my nipple. It felt so good. I rubbed my nipple over and over, pinching and pulling on the swollen peak. With every touch, my pussy got wetter and wetter.

"Well," I breathed. "Before this weekend, I used to think about you touching me like this." I tugged on my nipple again, hard and Edward took in a quick, hard breath.

My hand traveled to my pussy, again. Edward leaned forward, taking my panties in both hands, still slowly rubbing them between his fingers.

"Do you like it when I touch you like that?" FINALLY. He was playing along.

"Yes, sweetie. I do," I moaned. My fingers grazed over my clit again and again slowly and every time I felt a jolt of pleasure. I had to pace myself. My body was telling me what it wanted and I knew what I had to do was very simple, but I didn't want to rush it.

I cupped my whole hand around my pussy and started massaging. That was a bad idea. That felt even better then my middle finger on my swollen nub.

"What else to you think about, angel?" he purred. This was my chance, the opening I had been looking for. Edward's problem wasn't my body and my pleasure. It was _his own_ body and _his own_ pleasure. He was terrified to truly enjoy himself, to really let himself feel good and not feel bad about it. He'd been controlling himself for so long in so many different ways. I had to try to get him let go of some of that self imposed restraint, even if only a little.

"Well, Edward sometimes I think about _you_ touching yourself," I breathed. His nostrils flared as his eyes wandered over my body.

My head fell back and I moaned deeply as I dipped my middle finger inside myself. Then I stooped low, real low. I went right for the dirty talk.

"It would be _so sexy_ to see you touch yourself." My voice hitched on the last part as I found my g-spot. "It would just make my _pussy_ throb, just watching you stroke your dick." I actually sounded pretty convincing, like I had some experience with all this.

I giggled internally. That was so gross. Emmett would be proud.

Edward appeared to be frozen. He was watching me intently, still grasping my panties. He blinked.

"Will you do that for me Edward?" I pulled my finger out and brought it up to my mouth, licking my wetness off. I brought it back down to my wet lips and slipped it back inside. My breath came deep and heavy. "Will you stroke your cock for me?"

My eyeslids pried themselves open when I heard the sound of my panties rip.

**---  
**

**Hope you liked it… I honestly think if you could see inside Bella's head she would not at all be above any bit of this. That is one horny girl.**

**Come to the forum. We'll discuss.**

**Edward's up next. Who is else would it be?!?!**


	9. Jan3 Author's Note

**January 3rd A/N:**

I'll get the explanation out first…

I know a lot of you have been asking about this story. I HAVE NOT DROPPED IT.

Edward is extremely hard to write when I am trying to keep him as "true" to canon as possible. With my other stories, I can do 9 things while I am writing (I typically watch movies of surf the web while I'm writing Lost Then Found.), but with this story I basically need complete silence to channel Edward. Also this story is based on a ton of previously established details from the series and previous chapters, so I have to be very careful when it comes to falling plot holes and such…

In addition when I move on to a new chapter it has to written side by side with the previous chapter. I also refer back to the first of 12 chapters of Midnight Sun to help me along. Due to the crappy nature of dial up and being stuck at with family with no WIFI, I was unable to do my usual "side by side" method on my laptop. Also the fact that Edward doesn't sleep and leaves a lot of things unsaid makes his chapters longer with much more internal dialog. I NOW have such a great appreciation for Meyer's attempt at Midnight Sun. The overlapping with Edward is really hard.

In the upcoming chapter I have to rationalize Edward not only fantasizing about Bella in a highly sexual nature, but I have to convince him to masturbate in front of her. I have the chapter outlined, its just all of the musings in between all of the rubbing that's going to take some time.

For all of you freaks out there… He will do it.

Long story made even longer, I have not abandoned this story. Its is mapped to completion (2 epilogue chapter that include both POVs of their wedding night) and I will finish it. Just let me get some wifi and some quiet time and it will happen.

Thank you all so much for showing this story so much love.

xoxo Smacked

Ps... if you need a Edward/Bella fix, off the top of my head I can recommend the following:

**Private Tutor by _4thluvofmary_**

**The Bella Swan Diaries by _ninapolitan_**

**The Highway Man by _Acireamos and Anuddaone_**

**The Arrangement by _Manyafandom_ ... jasper's all up in it too, but its really freakin hot.**

**Love Among the Stacks by _Acireamos_**

**Consecuencias by _Gustariana_**

**One Night by _RMCC_**

_Silence by __jcara_

_Wicked Game by __Emerald_Rosalie, HisCrookedHeartGoldenSmile and Me_

**AND.....**

**Never Knew by ME**


	10. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie, you deserve all that money. Her characters. My wonderful ideas of 2nd and 3rd base.**_

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**Okay. Okay. Okay. I know it took me 2 and 1/2 months to finish this chapter. It just wasn't coming out. There are several factors to blame for its delay. But I do thank you all for being patient and encouraging me to keep going. **

**I credit Anne Rice and J.R. Ward for giving me my Edward mojo back. Their tales of the erotic helped me focus the true nature of Edward's frustration in the right direction.**

**This chapter is for _4theluvofmary_, my angelface. Girl, you just plain rock. I'm glad you begged for this chapter pretty much everyday. I dont know what else to say. Em, The Future Mrs. Marc Cuban, Rosana, Tigg, PB, Yos, Nina... thank you. **

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**EDWARD  
**

There was something terribly wrong. I wanted to do things with Bella, _to_ Bella, sexual things, normal things considering what she was to me, considering she was soon to be my wife. I had followed logic and reason, I had followed Emmett's advice. However the problem I faced now was one of a different kind. I no longer wanted to take precautions. I cared nothing for logic and reason.

The voice in the back of my head no longer sounded like Emmett. It was me. Worse yet, it was the loathsome part of me, the monster, the hunter. He was speaking to me, _yelling _at me. He had cravings, some of them familiar, but too many of them new and dangerous. He had desires and he was using all his brute strength to push my logic and reason aside to make room in my mind for the awful things he wanted to do.

I knew better, after what had happened this afternoon and this morning and last night. I knew I had reached my limit. Bella and I had made a lot of progress. I was proud of her and myself. But the hunter now was working on its own accord. He set our sights on something we both wanted. Something we both needed. Something dangerous.

As my lips brushed against hers, images of Bella's beautiful naked body flashed before my eyes. The smell of her, the smell of her sweet arousal, the scent of the fresh leather made the pictures in my mind all that more complete.

I knew Bella would accept the car. Even if she hated it, the truck would never run again. I also knew that she would accept this. I knew she would agree to me taking her right here and right now. She would let me rip her jeans from her body, while I reclined the seat. She would climb into my lap and let me thrust myself deep inside her. She would rock her hips against my eager pelvis. And she would want me to, beg me to come inside her.

But that was when I would lose my control. Slipping --- no crumbling in my fingers.

For some reason though, my control was only part of the problem now. The hunter, he didn't care what Bella wanted. He couldn't be bothered with her pleasure. He had needs, desires. Selfish and deadly.

_Take her_, the hunter growled.

My tongue swept across her lips, the hunters doing, and her soft moan reverberated in my ears. My hands would act next. I could feel them aching to move around her body. I had to stop myself now. I had to stop the hunter before it was too late, before I hurt us both.

I pulled back, with a frustrated, selfish groan, my head hanging between my shoulders. "I'm sorry Bella."

I could see the pain written on her face when I pulled away, but I had to. The hunter was so close to the surface. His intentions were clouding my thoughts and blocking my rational judgment. Leaning over Bella like that, caressing her arm, her stomach, kissing her sweet lips only added fuel to the enormous fire the menacing side of me was building in the pit of my frozen loins.

"Why?" Bella begged. Tears of dejection shimmered in her gorgeous, brown eyes.

I scrambled to explain, but the words weren't coming out right. I was afraid to give a full confession. I was terrified for her to see what I had truly become, someone who she could no longer fully trust.

But finally I was able to make things clear. I said the words so she would understand. I was putting all of our plans for our wedding night, my plans for her life and safety in jeopardy.

"I don't want to stop." The words tumbled from my lips and in that moment she understood.

I should have been grateful for her clear thinking and level head. I didn't often give Bella enough credit. She had saved my life on more than one occasion. She was smart and swift and resourceful. Her raging hormones aside, at the precise moment she already knew exactly what to do. But that fact just made me loathe myself all the more. I did not deserve her and now I wondered if I would be able to trust myself with her physically ever again.

We drove for an hour in silence. Her hands stayed on the wheel and mine, I struggled to keep myself. Although the ride was long and quiet there was nothing peaceful about it. I was afraid to look at Bella because she would see the terror in my eyes, but keeping to myself wasn't any better, for me at least.

The hunter was playing tricks on me, painting wonderfully horrible pictures in my head. My body struggled along with my mind. I begged to keep my erections at bay.

It didn't work.

The thoughts were just too strong and too much of me wanted her in those ways, so badly.

I wanted her perfect, pink nipples between my teeth, her wetness gliding swiftly back and forth over my erection.

I wanted her head, buried in my lap. Her lips wrapped me, sucking to the speed of _my_ direction.

I wanted Bella bent and panting over the edge of my bed as I thrust into her over and over again.

I wanted my hand fisted painful into her hair. I wanted to hear her beg for more.

I wanted to take her now and I didn't want to stop until I was finished. Til my body was spent.

My stomach lurched. My erection instantly disappeared. _I was repulsive._

After rejecting a trip to a nearby restaurant, Bella pulled in the parking lot of the local CVS. We sat in silence, but just for a moment.

"Bella. I don't know what to do---"

"Before you say anything else. You need to know that I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me exactly what's on your mind. Tell me how you really feel about all of this so we can handle it together," she said. I flinched hearing the sincerity in her words. I was still, after all this time, having trouble comprehending this level of patience she had with me. I looked at her for a moment just trying to understand before I spoke again.

I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I also didn't want her to think I was babying her or keeping these important things from her to spare her feelings. It was my own crude thoughts I was ashamed of.

"I am – afraid. I want you so bad and I feel awful every time I stop in the middle of things. I hate making you feel rejected. I hate that there's even the possibility that I might hurt you, that I might lose control. Isabella, you have no idea how badly I want to make love to you," I confessed.

"Edward, I know," she said quietly. I took another deep breath. I had to work through this. I needed her in my life. There had to be some way.

"You are about to be my wife and I can't even touch you the way I want to. I wanted to keep pleasuring you, but I don't – I don't know if I can. I don't --" I didn't know whether or not the hunter would let me keep her safe.

I struggled again. My confidence faltering, _again_. How could I bring myself to say the words – tell her the whole truth? I loved her more than I have ever loved anything or anyone in my entire life, more than I ever would. How could I look Bella in the face and I tell her these awful things I was thinking?

How could I tell her the way I wanted to hold her, the way I want to feel her body against mine, which in her fragile human form, all these things I wanted would surely kill her. Would tear her limb from limb, leaving my bride-to-be lifeless in my arms. I was a despicable, a wretched, deplorable monster. Nothing, but a shell of a man. I could never, would never touch her like that.

Her eyes searched mine, trying to understand. The words were about to bubble over, but she didn't let me finish. "Edward let me ask you something. What was your goal for this weekend?"

"To make you feel good physically and for the both of us to be more comfortable with each other, in that way," I answered honestly.

"Well part one was definitely taken care of and I've never been more comfortable with you than I am right now. Are you uncomfortable with me touching you, being close to you?"

I paused for a moment, maybe not the best idea. Bella's heart took off. I needed to be completely sure of the next words I said.

"Before, when I didn't know what it was like to be with you this way, when I didn't know how much joy it would bring me seeing your body react in certain ways, it was easy for me to refrain. It was easy for me to stop whatever you thought was going to happen in its tracks, but now I'm finding that I want more. And I don't like the way that makes me feel. It's not that I'm not in control of my strength, Bella. I'm not in control of my desires."

I paused again, breathing deep. The focus, the careful concentration was making my head hurt. My senses pulsed in my brain. "I mean there are things I want to do with you, _to you_…"

Bella touched my cheek. My skin warmed, glowed under her fingertips. I loved her, so much.

"Were you planning on executing another part of your plan? I mean before we left the house, did you have some of the 'plan -o- pleasure' in place for me tonight?" An adorably cute smirk spread across her lips. My body reacted, my smile mirroring hers. The hunter cowered in the corner. He was no match for her perfection. She had the control now. She owned me. Her beauty, her giving spirit would help me stay in control. I would do it – for her.

"Yes, love. I had hoped to—". She didn't let me finish, instead shifting the car into reverse. We only got a few feet before she stopped, put it in PARK and turned to me again.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but can you drive? We'll get home faster." I agreed, glad again that Bella still trusted me, with her heart and her life. She was mine to love and protect. I would not let her down.

I got out of the car slowly and walked to meet Bella half way. My arms automatically went around her soft frame, pulling her gently to my chest. My hands roamed across the small of her back. Her scent enveloped me. The thoughts running through my head shifted again. I saw Bella, my bride-to-be, dressed all in white, walking down the aisle to me to meet and stay with me forever.

"Do you understand how much I love you? Do you have any idea?" she asked.

"I think I just might," I replied as I brought my lips in contact with the graceful warmth of hers.

"I do like the car, by the way," she admitted, albeit against her will. I was glad for it though. It wasn't as if I would take the car back.

"I thought you might," I said, winking at her. It may have been a stressful evening and a lot of things had changed in the last several hours, but the way I loved to tease her had not. I loved her cute little, defiant smiled. I loved her.

I slid behind the wheel and we were back at home, pulling into the driveway in a fraction of the time it took as to reach the Port Angeles city limits. When we got inside she declined dinner again, instead asking me for directions to our blankets on reserve. She politely asked me to light a fire before disappearing up the stairs.

I shook my head at her, my silly girl. I ran to the garage and grabbed several pieces wood from the pile out back. I had the fire lit and was back by the doorway before Bella came ambling down the stairs, her arms filled with blanket and sheets. She tossed them on the couch and continued with her little project.

I watched her curiously as she carried one of the larger armchairs to the center of the room. She was going to hurt her back, but she refused my help. I'd move it back for her after she fell asleep.

When the chair was in place some eight feet back from the fire, she spread the blankets and sheets out on the floor.

"Okay, come here," she said, her hand stretched out. I came forward, standing between Bella and the chair. She was a little out of breath and her heart was racing. I couldn't wait to see what adorable things she was up to.

"I'm intrigued. I must say, Bella. You are going to some lengths right now," I poked fun at her gently.

"Yes, moving a chair and putting some linens on the floor is really something. Why don't you have a seat," she snickered in reply. I did as she asked, sliding down into the chair. All the while I watched as she walked into the corner and toed off her shoes and socks. Truly I did not know what to expect.

She took a few deep breaths, but it did nothing to slow her racing heartbeat and although it would have escaped human eyes, I could see her face flushing a slight pink in the firelight.

"So I was wondering if I asked you to tell me something, something explicit or maybe something embarrassing, would you really tell me the truth?" she asked, walking back in front of me. The fire cast her skin in this soft orange and pink glow. She was a vision.

"Of course I would, love," I replied with a small smirk. Lying my ass off.

"I see," she replied. Suddenly Bella's hand went up the buttons on her shirt. She released the first two.

_What the hell is she doing?_ I thought to myself.

_Giving us exactly what we want, _the hunter replied. I gulped lightly, forcing the monster back down. My throat moved too subtly for Bella's eyes to see.

"So if I asked you how often you fantasized about me would you answer me, honestly?" As she said the words, she undid the rest of the buttons on her shirt slowly.

Bella was insane, flirting with disaster, throwing caution and possibly her virginity to the wind. I could see it then, though, her true intention. I knew what she's planned to do as she slowly undressed herself. She wouldn't touch me. She would keep her distance pleasure herself --- for me.

"Hmmm?" she prodded.

"I would say I think about you fairly often," I admitted, in a way. But it wasn't enough. Of course.

"I know you think about me, but how often do you fantasize about me Edward? Sexually."

I turned the question over in my mind. Would I answer? Truthfully?

Bella kept her shirt on, but open, her breasts and her bare stomach exposed. Her hands gracefully released her body from her jeans, sliding them down her legs and off, over her adorable little feet. They flew into the corner, joining her shoes and socks. Her white, cotton panties shown in the fire light, tempting me, goading me on, begging to be touched.

_With your teeth. Rip them off with your teeth,_ the hunter growled. I took a deep breath, holding myself steady in the chair. He would not take over. I _would_ control myself.

"I fantasize about you a great deal," she said slowly. I wasn't sure I believed her. But did it matter what I believed as I watched her slide her shirt off her arms and throw it atop her growing pile of clothes?

"Edward, do you feel bad when you fantasize about me?" She gazed at me. I had to answer. It would only get worse if I didn't.

"I wouldn't say I feel bad. I just feel there is more to you than your physical appeal," I tried to answer as honestly as possible. She had to know that my lust for her hadn't taken over. I still loved my Bella, wholly and completely.

"That is true," she agreed, calmly. I questioned how this was all so easy for her. Bella had no reservation, no fear. Maybe still, a little insane.

I continued to debate her sanity, while I watched her fingers ghost over her soft skin, around to her back.

To the clasp of her bra.

I could her the quiet release of the metal, _1… 2 … 3_, just before she shrugged her shoulders forward, freeing her perfect breasts from the fabric.

It was added to the pile.

Then --- Bella's hands began to massage her breasts. I was in hell. My own personal hell.

"Would you believe that I fantasize about you a lot?" A slight shift in her weight, from one foot to the other, sent the breath of her arousal in my direction. Bella was wet, growing more so by the moment. My mouth began to water. I wanted to touch her, to taster her. I wanted to be inside her. I remembered, then that she had just said something. "Is that so?" I replied.

Bella, again tested me. Her fingers tips traveled to the lips where she licked them and brought them back down to her nipple. She teased her the pink bud, bringing it to life.

"Yep. Would you like to know what I think about?" she breathed.

"Yes, Bella, I would." My hands came up in front of my face, where I could keep my eye on them. I would need them to focus on in my periphery.

And then...

I watched as Bella's fingers slid into her panties.

I watched as her finger grazed her clit.

I listened to her breath as she shivered.

I watched the goosebumbs spread.

My mouth continued to water, the venom running down the back of my throat.

Bella slid her panties off and walked toward me, the wet undergarment balled in her hand.

"Would you like to keep these?" she whispered. My hand responded, turning palm up, opening. She handed them to me, knowing all too well that I would want to keep them.

"Thank you," I said quietly. I rubbed the fabric around, spreading her warm wetness on my fingertips, soaking up the smell of her.

Bella sunk back to the floor and continued with her line of questioning. She touched her body, her nipples, her stomach, her soaking wet divide, trying to get me to react. Her chest rose and fell. Her lips moistened as her tongue swept over the surface. I fought with all my might, struggling against my desire to join her on the floor, to bury myself between her legs.

Finally as if she could sense I was at the edge, she pushed me, my senses. I knew better than to answer her questions. I knew MUCH better than to play along with this part of the game. Bella had learned how to use me, to use my desire against me.

"What else to you think about, angel?" I asked, foolishly backing myself further into this corner.

"Well, Edward sometimes I think about you touching yourself," she said, tilting her head back against her shoulder. Her fingers probing wet her insides.

"It would be so sexy to see you touch yourself. It would just make my pussy _throb_, just watching you stroke your dick." I felt my face contort at the admission. Surely she was joking. She had to be. I knew what she was capable of. I knew what she had wanted me to do to her, but I could not for one moment imagine that she truly found the idea of _my _hand on my own body arousing.

She teased me mercilessly, licking her coated fingers then sliding them back in to her pussy. "Will you do that for me Edward? Will you stroke your cock for me?" her breathy tone shattered my control. I channeled my strength to my fingertips, shredding the wet, white cotton. If it had to the power to, my heart would have beat out of my chest.

I took deep breaths through my nose, my teeth clenched. She watched me carefully as she shifted to her knees, like she was afraid to make any sudden moves.

With the gracefulness of a jungle cat, Bella approached me on all fours. My eyes shifted from her nipples to her lips to her eyes, repeating the cycle four times before she reached me. She brought herself back up to her knees and slowly reached for her panties.

"Give them to me," she whispered softly. Again she knew exactly what to do. She knew exactly how to approach me, how to speak to me. The ringmaster to my lion in its cage. My eyes held hers as I followed the gentle command, dropping the panties to her open palm.

"You can have these back after class," she smirked, dropping them on the floor. She was amazing.

Her hands came up to my knees and I let her gently part my legs. With two more slow movements, she walked to herself into my lap, her breasts level with my throbbing erection. I wanted to move her back, but every move she had made in the last few hours had been very precise and calculated. I trusted her.

Bella slid her hands, slowly, up and down my thighs as she spoke. The heat from her body poured through the fabric of my pants, making my whole body tingle.

"Don't you want to please me, Edward?" she pouted. _So low_. "You can do anything. Can't you just do this _one_ thing for me?"

"Bella, I –" I choked on the words. My voice was not my own. The husky tone of the hunter was aching to finish that sentence. Instead I reached for her fingers, the ones that had just been inside of her. She watched me as I brought them up to my mouth and licked them clean. The sweet taste lingered on my tongue. Her heart stuttered, stopped, then picked up again. She struggled for a moment, but regained her composure. She had plans for me.

"Let me help you, then," she purred, pressing her body closer still. I could have stopped her, but I didn't. I wanted her hands on my body. I wanted her to _help _me. I saw where her hands were headed and my body sunk down further in the chair, making things a little easier for her. Her hands found my top button, then my zipper. I lifted my hips as she pulled my pants down just enough to expose the slit in my boxers. My erection was straining against the fabric.

I could see it in her eyes then. She was losing focus. She wanted to taste me. I willed myself to stay still. My body was telling me to thrust my hips forwards, offer myself up to her perfect lips, her sinful tongue, but I kept myself in place, letting Bella go through with her plan.

She swallowed her desire and let her hands moved toward the two small buttons, separating her from the most desperate part of me. She released my length, but instead of kissing it, licking it or even stroking it, she stood and walked behind my chair. My eyes closed and I shuddered as I felt Bella's nipples graze my shoulders. Her hands slowly ran down my arms. With her left hand, she slowly drew soothing circles across my knuckles then back down to my wrist. But the mastery of it all was what she did with her right hand.

She wove her fingers through mine, gently. At the same time she brought her lips to my ear. Her tongue slid across the curves of my skin before she spoke. "Just let me help you," she whispered. I didn't even think to respond. I felt our hands move. I didn't need to open my eyes. Our fingers, laced together, wrapped around my shaft. I let Bella guide us for a few long strokes. She knew exactly what I wanted, exactly how to make me feel good.

"Show me," she breathe, starting to loosen her grip a little. I swallowed, my nostrils flaring. I kept my eyes closed, basking in the sensation of her lips gliding up and down the edge of my jaw, using my own tricks against me. I couldn't stop myself. My hand took over, gripping her fingers a little tighter.

Her breathing grew deeper as my strokes intensified. My eyes flickered open and I turned my head slightly until my eyes met hers. She was panting, mouth closed as my fingers kept up the pace.

"Let me, go," she purred. "I want a better view. I want to touch myself." My hand released slightly, but then tightened around her fingers and my length again. I twisted my head further as my left arm shot up, behind my head. My fingers tangled in her hair and pressed her lips to mine. A forceful moan met my deep growl as her lips molded to my will. I liked this kind of control. I liked hearing her whimper under my grasp. My erection throbbed in my hand.

After a few moments, I let her go, her hair, her lips then her hand. She broke away, blinking, lost in a lust filled haze. She stumbled once, but then peered at me as she walked slowly back to her position in front of the fire. My eyes gazed over the curve of her breast, her perfect bottom. I wanted her. I wanted her so bad.

And I wanted to come.

She lay back down for brief moment, but then jumped up and grabbed a large cushion from the couch. She brought it back to the floor and slid it up under the sheet. It worked as the perfect backrest, giving her the perfect amount support while she watched me, watching her. I kept up my stroking pace, all the while, watching every single movement of her perfect muscles under her silky skin.

Once she was seated again, Bella wasted no time spreading her legs for me. Her fingers slid back over her folds, coating themselves again in all her sweetness. I would have to lick her fingers again when it was all over.

Or maybe I would just have to taste her again, first hand.

I looked at her beautiful eyes, the orange and yellow from the fire making the brown flecks sparkle and move. A peculiar smile touched her pinks lips.

"Race ya," she giggled. I chuckled darkly back in response. Only Bella could keep a moment like this light, even of only for a moment. She knew I couldn't resist a challenge.

Just as Bella's fingers dipped back into her dripping center, I gripped myself harder. An eerie calm took over me in that second. The fantasies, the cravings, _the hunter_, all gone. There was no trace of anything evil or shameful. I didn't need to dig for forbidden pleasures, nor did I have to beat them back because an ultimate fantasy was unfolding right before my eyes. Bella touching herself was the most wonderful, most satisfying thing I had ever seen.

I watched the love of my existence, her head roll to her shoulders, her eyes fighting to stay open as she focused on my hand on my erection. I felt my hips shift forward slightly, showing their desire for her. I stroked myself, hard.

Bella's moans and pants came harder and faster. Soon she withdrew her fingers all together and pressed her cupped fingers over her clit. She rubbed herself vigorously. Her nipples twitched of their own accord as her breast bounced to the rhythm of the motion of her hand. The muscles of her legs and her backside worked to bring her body in perfect contact with her hand. Her tongue and her teeth attacked her bottom lip. The fierce beating of her heart thumped in my ears.

Bella was getting off – by watching me.

"Edward," she screamed. My body tensed as my name came from her lips over and over again, her sweet nectar seeping between her fingers. I couldn't focus my eyes any longer. My head fell back, my eyelids slamming shut, images of Bella's body burned into them. The fingers of my free hand gripped the arm of the chair as my seed spilled forward over the back of my hand.

Her name tore from my throat, a declaration of my love, a sincere thank you for all she was willing to give of herself.

--

**I know there's a typo or two in there. Sorry.**

**This chapter was a little shorter than the other ones, but I think it ended at just the right stop. Bella's next chapter will capture more of what Edward touching himself really looks like and of course what he does when he's finished. Theres a picture of what I think Bella and Edward's time in the tub looked like on page 5 of the forum. The link to the forum thread is on my FF profile. PM me if you cant find it.  
**

**I really hope you all enjoyed it.  
**

** I vowed I would not add a single chapter to another story until this one was updated. I will probably do a sweep now and update all of my stories. **

**Bella's up next, of course.  
**


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Smeyer's Characters...**

**So I figure at this rate this story will be done in 2011.**

**I got a comment about the "race ya" remark Bella made in the last chapter. the reviewer felt it was out of character. pick up eclipse and have a look at the chapters "temper" and "compromise" then pick up breaking dawn and have a look-see at the chapter "long night" or what have you before the wedding. bella is cracking comments like that over the place. let me know if you need page numbers.**

**this chapter is for steph and bba. i love you two.  
**

**blame erica if you see any typos. she refused to beta cause she had "homework" but then continued to chat with me at length about the future of Qhuinn and Blay's relationship. tisk tisk, erica. tisk tisk.**

**--**

**BELLA**

I couldn't peel my fingers away. I was nearly spent, but my body was still enjoying the feeling of my hand between my legs. Tiny aftershocks ripped through me and I couldn't move. I watched Edward as a lingering growl vibrated from his chest. His hand and his lap were cover in the delicious silvery cream. I stayed put, but there was still a small voice in the back of my head that told me to go to him. I wanted to clean him with my tongue, lap up every single drop. But I couldn't.

Suddenly Edward jumped up and sped from the room. I wasn't surprised. He couldn't risk me coming towards him like I had before.  
I looked down at my naked body, breathing hard, pretty shocked about what I had just done, even more shocked by what Edward had done. He didn't give me much time to think though. He was back seconds later with a towel wrapped around his waist. I looked up at him, his eyes glowing in the firelight.

"I have to touch you," he purred, staring back down at me. I could see the love and the lust simmering in his gaze. His voice was deep and rough. I knew what he meant. Edward didn't want to hug me or cradle me to his chest. He wanted to kiss me, touch my pussy again, lick me even. He was hungry.

"Then touch me," I replied, tilting my lower half towards him. He dropped to his knees between my legs and grabbed my hips like he'd done before. I watched his face carefully and saw the focus in his eyes. Just as his cool breath blew across my wet lips, making me shudder, he peered back up at me.

"Thank you," he whispered. Before I could respond his lips were on me, sucking and massaging my already tender slit. He didn't even bother with his fingers. He only used his mouth. The cool feel of the smooth marble surface combined with his immense, immovable strength was more than enough to push me over the edge.

My eyes slammed shut and all I could see was Edward's hand, wrapped around his perfect erection. All I could hear was the feral growl of his release. Every image in my mind was of his fingers gripping and stroking his erection over and over again, the muscles of his forearm clenching under his smooth skin. The force behind his thrust was exactly what made me come. While I watched him, listening to him pant and growl, all I could think of was how amazing it would be to finally have him inside me. I knew when were finally able to make love, it would be beyond erotic, nothing but perfect. Edward knew exactly how to use my body and he was quickly mastering his own. With that and the immense love we felt for each I knew that once we were finally together I would experience ecstasy beyond anything we had experienced this weekend.

Edward's lips continued to press into me until I couldn't take anymore. My back arched, forcing his face harder against my hips.  
As I rode out this massive orgasm I knew it had to be the last one, for the two of us at least, for now. Sure I would tend to myself over the next few weeks, using memories of this weekend, but I knew Edward and I couldn't go any further.

He didn't wipe his mouth as he rose to his knees and fell on top of me, bracing his arms on either side of my body. I could taste myself on his lips and his perfect tongue as his slid it into my mouth, kissing me desperately.

I wanted him so bad -- it hurt. I wanted him to touch me like this all the time. I wanted these types of intense kisses. I wanted to feel his cold, hard skin against every inch of mine. I wanted him inside me, every inch of him. The same feeling washed over me, the same feeling I'd felt when we'd kissed in the car earlier this afternoon. I didn't want him to stop. I wanted him to take me. Right here, right now, on the floor. I wanted Edward to fuck me so bad.

So I placed my hands on his chest and I pushed. Edward stopped immediately, his jaw tensing as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Who would have thought you'd be the one to stop us?" he whispered again. His velvet tones instantly made me regret the decision.

"I know. Twice."

Edward rolled to the side and pulled me with him. I shivered a little, but I didn't want to put any layer of fabric between us. Not yet.

"Are you cold, love?" he asked sweetly.

"No. I'm fine for now." I could feel him nod a bit as he pulled me closer. "Do you still feel bad, you know, for wanting me?"

"No, love. I do not," he chuckled. "I think seeing just what you're capable of put some of my darker fantasies to shame."

"Good." I looked up so I could see his face better. "I want you, in all those ways. We're going to be together forever and I don't want you to think for one second that you should keep your desires from me." I giggled then, before stating the obvious. "I know I won't keep mine fore you."

His smile was warm and full of patience as he kissed me gently on the forehead. "It's going to be harder for me to resist you now."

"Why?" I had an idea, but I wanted to hear it from him.

"Many reasons. I've tasted something better than your blood," he teased. "And I know how wonderful it makes me feel when you come. It's going to be hard to resist-- making you come again."

"But you will- resist that is." I kept my tone even. I didn't want to show any disappointment because he was right where I needed him to be. I wanted to make to our honeymoon and I would need his help.

"Yes I will," he asserted. I sighed and tucked my head back under his chin while he gently smoothed my hair down my back.

"As long as you know that the things you want aren't wrong. Because they aren't."

"I know, love. I know."

I was so glad my plan hadn't back fired. And I was so happy that Edward had listened to me, that he'd was truly open to my fantasies and my suggestions.

We laid for a while, not saying anything. I listened to Edward's steady breathing as I'm sure he was listening to the beating of my heart.

Soon I did start to get cold and then of course my stupid stomach growled. Edward helped me up and I gathered my clothes and went to wash up. He offered to take care of the living room while I changed.

"Actually, can I have my dinner in front of the fire?" I asked before I hit the stairs.

"Of course you can. Take your time." He smiled at me warmly.

I walked up to Alice's room and got in her shower. I wanted to get back to Edward, but part of me wanted to pace myself with my shower, take my sweet time with my hair. Which I did. I wasn't ready for the weekend to be over. I knew at some point late tonight or in the morning the rest of the family would be back. I would be happy to see them. Not so happy to see whatever Alice had bought me, but it would make the end to this perfect time with Edward official. It would mean that Edward and I really had to wait three more weeks to be alone again, for more than a few hours anyway.

"Three more weeks," I mumbled to myself before turning on Alice's hair dryer. Three more weeks of fittings and planning and ugh, shopping. All the stuff we had supposedly been taking care of this weekend. We had to get back to all the not so fun parts of Edward and I getting married.

I slowly walked back to Edward's room to grab my pajamas. I stopped short when I reached his couch. While I was in the shower he'd laid out some fresh pjs for me. A clean, thin royal blue sweater, a pair of my white cotton panties and of course, some knee high white socks with three classic stripes at the tops. They matched the royal blue of the sweater. My cellphone was on top the sweater and the display was blinking. There was a text message from Edward.  
_  
For old times' sake..._

I slipped the soft, thin fabric over my head and pulled on my panties. My nipples hardened just thinking of how Edward came to love seeing me in his sweaters. I shifted my thighs as I sat on the couch to pull the socks on. I was wet still from our encounter downstairs.

While I sat I thought more about forever with him.  
_  
Forever. _Not years or weeks or months, but eternity.

Alice and Jasper were so connected. Their powers aside, they knew each other inside and out. Even Emmett and Rosalie had this amazing bond that no one in the family fully understood. I loved Edward more than I ever thought possible, but I wondered what it would be like for us ten years from now, fifty years from now, forever teenagers. Sure he couldn't read my mind, but I was convinced that after time we would exist on a level like that. One day there would be no need for words. It was just take a look or a touch. I hoped.

I was anxious for that day, but I was also looking forward to working up to it. I was anxious for the days, weeks and months we would spend together like we had this weekend, opening up to each other physically and emotionally. I couldn't wait to know Edward as well or maybe even better than I knew myself.

I also wondered what he would teach me, what other skills I would become proficient at. Would the repetition of years drive me to find cars interesting like Rose. Would our lifestyle force me to view fashion the same way Alice did? I hoped not.

_I'd certainly have plenty of time to read. _I thought, smiling to myself.

And then out of nowhere I thought about Jacob.

_Jacob..._

I knew things would be different for him now, especially if he stayed in wolf form. Jacob may be looking at eternity as well. Would he ever forgive me? If we only had one lifetime, maybe not, but we had many. Sure that would be time for me to get over him and maybe even forget about him completely, but something in the back of my mind and on the edge of my heart told me that forever, even with Edward wouldn't make me _forget_ about Jake. I loved him. He was a part of my family.

I looked down at the sock dangling from my hand. I couldn't hold back the sigh that slipped out. I missed Jake. I wanted him back home, safe and happy. But considering what I had done to him, considering the person I couldn't be for him, I doubted that _happy_ couldn't be in the equation.

Another sigh of frustration.

Why did I have to mean so much to him? Why did he have to love me that way..

My cell phone beeping on the couch brought me out of my thoughts. It was Alice.

"Hey," I said after I flipped it open.

"Hey yourself. How are things going with my darling brother?" she giggled.

"Shut up, Alice," I laughed. "You know exactly how things are."

"That is true. I got you some stuff on Rodeo. Their the right size so you wont have to try anything on. I promise." Alice knew just what to say and do. She knew just where the edge of my sanity was and she knew exactly the right time to butter me up.

"Thanks Alice. So what's up?"

"Nothing much. We'll be back later tonight and then you can head home in the morning."

"You wont be dropping me off will you?" I accused knowing full well that she knew about the car.

"Well I think Edward should go with you, maybe explain about the car a little."

"Yeah. I guess that's a good idea," I agreed.

"Do you like it?" she asked shyly.

"It's a little much, but yes Alice I do like it. Thank you."

"Oh good. Trust me. He was going to get you something way more extravagant. Esme and I convinced him that getting you a Hummer was probably one of the faster ways to get you to call off the wedding."

I burst out laughing. "Good Call. You've saved our nuptials yet again."

"Just doing my job," she giggled. "Sooooo you and Edward have a few more hours to -- you know, before we get back."

"Why don't you just tell me if we _ya know_, that way I can be dressed when you all get back."

"Well that depends."

"On what?"

"You'll see. Enjoy your dinner." I could hear her and Rose giggling as she hung up the phone.

I shook my head, smiling as I stood up. An eternity with Edward meant at least a part of that eternity with Alice. Good thing I loved her so much, or I'd find a way to kill her.

I double checked my phone. It had taken me a good forty-five minutes to get showered and changed. By the time I opened the door to Edward's bedroom, the smell of garlic and oregano was wafting up the stairs.

When I got to the first floor I stuck my head back into the living room. Edward had put the chair back in the right place and he has swapped the linens I'd used for a black and white checkered blanket. It reminded me of a giant chess board. He also placed a few pillows around for us to lounge on I guessed.

_These Cullen, Always thinking._

I wrapped my hands in the long sleeves of the sweater, balling the fabric up between my fingers as I walked into the kitchen. Edward had some soft classical music playing quietly through the speakers over the the microwave. I admired him for a moment from the doorway while he gave the sauce one more stir and turned to the sink to drain the pasta. He'd changed into a white undershirt that showed off his chiseled pecs and he had on different pair of plaid pajama pants. I looked down at my little outfit one more time and smiled.

"Thank you for the sleepwear. I should snoop through Alice's closet more often." He glanced up at me flashing my favorite smirk.

"The socks are Rose's actually. Don't worry. I'll replace them. She won't even know." He chuckled as my eyes bulged out of my head. Things were better with Rose, but they weren't great. They definitely weren't friendly-sisterinlaw-let-me-borrow-your-clothes great by a long shot.

"Are you sure?" I swallowed, ready to pull them off.

"Yes love. I am sure. I might just ask Alice to pick up a few more of those sweaters -- and some more of those socks."

"Is this going to be an every night thing?" I asked tugging at the bottom of the sweater.

"Well once I've - _had you_," he teased seductively. "I don't think clothing will be all together necessary." My face had to be bright red I could feel myself blushing all the way down to my borrowed socks.

"Uh--Okay. Do you need any help?" I asked fruitlessly. Of course he didn't, but I felt weird not being in charge in the kitchen.

"No, but thank you for offering," he said with a wink. He quickly shut everything down and walked over to me carrying my dinner on a silver tray. "After you my dear."

He followed behind as we walked slowly into the living room. We sunk to the floor and Edward laid down next to me while I slowly ate the delicious spaghetti he'd made. Sure it wasn't fancy, but it was so good. We talked more about the wedding and showing the car to Charlie. He'd spoken to Alice while I was in the shower. We were all in agreement. Although Charlie loved Alice, the car was gift from Edward and he should be the one to smooth things over with my Dad.

The whole time I ate I couldn't help but smile. The past few days had been amazing, but this part of it, being alone with Edward was what I had really been craving all along.

"Miss Swan, you have this little smile on your face that won't seem to go away. Do you mind telling me what that smile is about?"

"You," I said casually.

"Me? And what is it about me?"

"Well I'm smiling more about all of this. This kind of time we get to spend together. In three weeks, we'll never have to spend any time apart again."

He sat up a bit and kissed me softly on my nose. "One of the perks of being married, yes."

"I could get used to this. Actually I know I'll be giving up the whole you cooking dinner for me thing sooner than later, but spending time with you, quiet uninterrupted time, I could certainly get used to this."

He moved a little closer, his sweet breath fanning across my face, making me forget everything about my surrounds, but him.

"I knew you'd see it my way," he purred softly. Our lips met slowly as Edward's cool fingers explored my neck and collar bone. This kiss was light and gentle, but also amazingly seductive. I could feel myself opening up to Edward again. The urgency of the afternoon was gone. And yes, I had decided that our session of self pleasure would be our last encounter before the wedding, but I wanted him to touch me again. I wanted to feel his fingers inside me -- moving slowly.

Almost on cue, Edward pulled away. I knew he could smell my arousal and my hips were gently shifting towards his other hand.

His eyes opened carefully and he slowly drew his tongue across his bottom lip. I could barely breathe, my standard reaction to his expert kissing. I looked back at him eager to hear what he was about to say.

"I know my family will be home soon, but I have to have you one more time, love. I need to see you come. One more time."

I nodded slowly. I wasn't about to argue with him.

"Are you finished?" he asked softly. I nodded biting my lip. "Why don't you go wait for me on the bed?" his voice was deeper now. He was focused. I nodded again, standing up carefully. I didn't exactly trust me legs or my feet after that kiss.

I knew Edward could have the kitchen cleaned and the fire out before I even reached the top floor, but apparently he took his time. I'd been sitting in the center of the comforter for a good two minutes before he opened his bedroom door. He had another towel in his hand. I watched him as he draped it over the foot of the bed.

"Just a slight precaution," he said softly. I remained silent as he slid on the bed next to me. The mattress shifted under his weight and I leaned into his side once he was settled. I pulled me knees up to my chest, looking at my toes in the pristine white socks and waited for his last stage of the plan.

"I wanted to say thank you -- for this weekend."

I kept my eyes down, feeling slightly nervous for some reason. "You don't have to thank me Ed--"

"Please, let me finish. I know you've agreed to be my wife, but what you've done for me these past few days," he paused and gently placed his finger under my chin, coaxing me to look up at him. Our eyes met and all at once I was completely overcome with emotion. I couldn't believe the amount of love in his gaze. His topaz eyes were deep liquid pools desperate for _me_. How could I have been so lucky.

"Bella, you've given my your body, your love and your trust. None of which I deserve. You've been patient with me and you've been so kind. You've helped me see that all of my decisions, all of the pain I have seen was worth it because it led me to my perfect angel. I _am_ in love with _you_ and I cannot wait for the day when I am your husband. So I _must_ thank you for coming into my life. I must thank you for loving me."

There was nothing I could say. For all the books I'd read one would think I had some amazing, eloquent response. Nope. But my hand did reach out to the cool skin of his gorgeous face. My fingers lingered on his cheek then moved slowly down across his perfect lips, smooth and hard.

His hand followed my lead and he moved his finger from my chin and brought it across my jawline and down my throat. I shuddered slightly at the touch.

"I love you," I whispered.

"And I, you." he whispered back. Then it was time, so to speak for our last hooray. I had a feeling he would make it good one.

He slowly rose to his knees and urged me onto my back. He followed, crawling up my body. When we were face to face he let his eyes lazily explore my features. Briefly I considered how glad I was that no other girl had experienced even the slightest bit of physical affection from Edward. The legends of his expertise would have spread far and wide among vampires and humans alike and I don't know if I would have had the patience to wait in that line. A line that would surely be miles and miles long. I got to be his first, his only.

My eyes widened a bit, my body gushing as the most alluring smile spread across his lips.

"What?" I asked.

He chuckled once and then again as I gasped beneath him. His fingers began teasing my nipple through the sweater.

"I'm so glad I didn't kill you."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." I sneered at him. "Now kiss me."

His laughter this time was muffled my our lips pressing together. He was cool, but I grew warm all over.

This time I let Edward lead. Everything felt so effortless after our quick study of each other's bodies. Edward kept his lips on mine, breaking only to _lick_ me while he let me breathe. He didn't need to look where his hands were going and I neither did I while we worked together to get my panties off. They landed with a soft thud on the floor.

We continued to kiss as his hand went up under the fabric of the sweater, exploring my swollen nipples. I whimpered when he pinched the right one gently.

That line would have stretched for _miles_.

I don't know whether it was me or him who grew impatient, but in the next second Edward's fingers were at my clit massaging gently. Another whimper slipped out when his fingers went a little lower. I was so slick and open for him. He shuddered a bit when his two fingers slid inside me. My hips lifted all on their own, wanting him deeper.

Our lips still connected, Edward worked me slowly just the way I had wanted him to, his fingers sliding in and out. His hand rotating, his thumb finding the perfect spot.

My chest was heaving and I had to break from his lips. My head dug into the pillow, my hips lifting even higher.

When I looked down I could only see the top of his head. He was clearly watching my body react to him.

It took forever, but not nearly long enough. My release was coming for me. I felt myself breaking apart, my orgasm taking over. My eyes slid back into darkness. I grabbed onto his shoulder, gripping for dear life. And then I felt like I had to pee again.

"Don't fight it, love. Please." His words came out as lustful growl and I lost control. It was the sexiest thing I had ever heard. I felt my body spasming, pushing hard against the strength of his hand. It was a useless effort. He repeated the same motions from yesterday, pumping inside me before releasing his hand. I felt the gushing between my legs, all on the insides of my thighs. I was squirting again and it seemed like I couldn't stop.

Another reason to be thankful the Cullen's didn't have neighbors, I screamed his name, not moaned but screamed his name mixed in with a whole slue of four letter words. And then I blacked out.

I came to a few moments later, shocked into awareness by a soft chill brushing on my thigh. I blinked several times trying to refocus my blurred vision. Edward was between my legs, licking them clean. He was holding the hand he had just used on me off to the side. I could see that his fingers were still covered in my juices. Maybe he was saving those for last.

When my panting calmed a bit, he looked up at me, his eyes focused in that intensely lustful way. In one swift motion, he pulled himself up my body and brought his coated fingers to my lips. At the same time he slid his leg between mine. Just as I took his fingers into my mouth, he gently leaned his knee against my clit. My eyes slid closed and I moaned with my mouth full, letting the sensation of _any_ part of him in my mouth and his body pressed against me take over. A tiny orgasm shot through me, making me quiver one last time.

My eyes stayed closed when Edward pulled his fingers from my lips, then I sighed as he kissed me softly. He lifted my body and moved me to the other side of the bed then stretched out where I had been laying.

"Do you want change the sheets? I'm sorry."

"No," he said casually wrapping his arms around me after he cocooned me in the blanket. He softly began humming my lullaby and I snuggled closer to him, rubbing my face against his stone chest.

"Do me one favor?" I said quietly.

"Anything love?"

"Let me reimburse Esme for all the laundry detergent."

The last thing I heard was Edward's gentle laughter as I drifted off to sleep.

**--**

**I hope you enjoyed it. let's see how many months it takes me to post the next chapter.**


	12. May22 Author's Note

I hate when people do this, but it's the best thing for me. I have to put all of my stories on hold to handle with my real life. I don't know if **_or_** when I will pick up any of these stories, but I do appreciate all of the love and support I have received from all of you.

xoxo Smacked.


	13. An Extra Step

_**Disclaimer: Smeyer's Characters**_

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**A/N : this is my submission for NINAPOLITIAN'S Friday Free For All on Twilighted.**

**It takes place after Edward's phone call to Emmett and Jasper. Hope you like it.**

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**A/N 2: I've given up the fic writing, but I wanna have hot, hot sex with Nina so I couldn't back out of this Friday Freak Fest. Plus I'll take any excuse to get Alice naked with another girl.**

This is an outtake I wrote for Baby Steps last summer. I was going to post it when Baby Steps was finished, but that's not happening sooooooo.

Big ups to Krissf, who encouraged me to write this.

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**July 2006**

**Jasper's POV**

**--**

There's a few things you need to get straight before you I tell you this part of the story. I love Edward. He truly is a brother to me, but sometimes it's clear, especially going by the things he tells Bella, that he has no idea what the fuck he's talking about.

Reading minds doesn't necessarily lead to superior intelligence and denying yourself certain life experiences and refusing to enter certain people's minds can definitely put you are a disadvantage.

Some things that he and Bella have gone on about are true, the things about us and the way we love. For vampires, our physical connection is something entirely different than it is for humans. We rarely fall in love and when we do it tends to be permanent and something permanent is hard to fathom if you are a mortal. Permanence in love is sixty years if you're lucky. For us, it's forever. Alice and I are just shy of our sixtieth year of forever. I'm not a member of AARP and she is not spending time with her Bridge Club. We are still very young in many ways and definitely very virile. Emmett and Rosalie to have been together for seventy-one years. Now over that length of time things happen, thing that you didn't necessary think would happen.

I would say Alice and I are pretty sexually adventurous even for vampires. We've played our fair share of kinky games, had sex in our fair share of interesting and public places. Emmett and Rose do out shine us in the creativity, but I have from time to time listened to Emmett is his incessant bragging and some of things he's mentioned I've tried with Alice and really enjoyed. And don't be fooled, Edward has intentionally listened to and mentally cataloged many a detail from these bragging sessions. He just won't admit it.

As it turns out, for all the differences in our personalities and our overall attitude towards life, Emmett and I have very similar tastes, especially when it comes to one particular thing.

Several years ago Em and I took the girls swimming at a pond near our family's home in Denali. By pond I mean a large hole in the ice filled with arctic water.

Edward was always the odd man out and although we tried our hardest to include him, he didn't always want to come. On this particular day he decide to stay home with Esme and Carlisle. It was occasion we were all grateful for his sulky behavior.

In interest of keeping Bella's curiosity in check there was one more thing Edward didn't clearly explain. I can alter emotions, but I can sense them too and when I sense them its as if I am feeling them myself. Often times the initial assessment of an emotional climate can be very annoying. Someone else's feelings can totally fuck up a good day. If Alice is upset, I'm upset, unless I will the feelings away. If Rose is angry, I'm angry, until I force joy upon her. When Esme is giddy, I feel like skipping around like a schoolgirl until I can mellow her out.

There is also a - dangerous element to my power. I can project emotions unintentionally. Edward never mentioned that either. I can usually reel it in and correct the mood relatively fast, but sometimes bad things happen. And other times, times like that particular trip to the pond, what Alice is feeling or Rose or even Emmett for that matter is safe enough or even enjoyable enough for me to just roll with it.

Emmett and I sat lounging on some rocks near the water's edge. The girls were a few feet away from us undressing down to their bikinis. Emmett is typically feeling one of four emotions: horny, pissed, happy or whatever. I say whatever, because that's the best way to describe it. It's not that he doesn't care at a particular time, he's just goes with whatever is going on around him. It's never much beyond that. He's not complex guy.

That day -- surprise, surprise, Emmett was horny as hell. I glanced at him as Rosalie peeled of her shirt. He literally licked his lips, gazing at her. I could feel the lust rolling off of him, it was more powerful that usual. I was grateful Edward wasn't with us. I was willing to bet that his virginal mind would not have been able to handle whatever images went hand in hand with what Emmett was feeling.

This was one of those times where my projection got the best of me. I wondered briefly if he'd had enough sex the night before, his craving was so intense.

Then Rose did something so minor, but at least for him, something so sexy that it sent his imagination and the lust that went along with it, racing.

Rosalie pulled down her pink sweats and the tie on her bathing suit came undone. It was no big deal, a quick fix, but clearly Emmett wanted thing off all together. Rosalie didn't notice the way her suit was slipping from her hips as she slowly pulled her hair up into a ponytail, but Alice did.

"Oh, Rose. You're suit's untied," Alice said sweetly. She was so adorable as she leaned over and gracefully fixed the loose tie on Rosalie's hip. I stared at Alice for a brief moment, thinking about taking her into my arms again that night and making love to her, or fucking her brains out, which ever she preferred. My love for her made it so --

It hit me like a wrecking ball. I don't know what the hell Emmett was thinking about, but I hadn't been that aroused in years. I swear I should have been sweating. My fingers dug into the rock beneath us and before I could control it, before I could get Alice safely back in my arms, where I could as least channel some of that lust in the right direction, I was projecting.

I projected what felt like years and years of pent up sexual tension right at Rosalie and Alice. I swear to God I didn't mean to do it, but Emmett's dumb ass was just so turned on, the current of his lust so quick and so forceful I couldn't focus enough to turn them around. His need was so great I literally could not keep it to myself. I wasn't purposefully trying to displace this emotion onto the girls. Anyone in a ten miles radius would have felt it.

I shook my head desperately trying to realign my feelings and then Emmett grabbed my arm.

"Wait dude," he whispered. More desire flowed off of him.

"What?!" I said looking him confused.

"Look," he told me. I followed his gaze to Rose and Alice. They were -- staring at each other in a peculiar way. My confusion was quelled again as Emmett bombarded me with another wave of unbridled passion. I projected it out again, it was too much to handle.

Rosalie slowly lifted her hand and stroked Alice's cheek. Alice gazed up at her, her eyes filled with raw desire. Alice's hand was still on Rose's hip trailing just below the edge of her bikini bottom. She reached up with her other and touched Rosalie's hair.

_Oh fuck, What the hell did I just do?_ I thought to myself just BAM -- another horny arrow went right through me to the girls. I glared at Emmett. He stared at the girls, nearly drooling

Rosalie bit her lip tentatively and nodded a little to Alice, some unspoken connection. Alice tilted her head up and they started kissing. Emmett was so turned on, there was no way I could stop them. I couldn't feel anything else.

Despite how turned on I was that kiss, the whole situation could be bad, very, very bad. Not that I'm ever opposed to a little girl on girl action, but afterwards Alice would be embarrassed and Rosalie would be furious. Not that it mattered in the long run, but she'd be a huge bitch for a least a week and none of us needed that.

The girls went on kissing and touching each other bodies, exploring each other's hips and breasts until Emmett couldn't stand it anymore. He was hard and damn near stroking himself through his shorts. My erection was in full combat mode as well, but my feelings for Alice and her emotional well-being were enough for me to at least keep my shorts on.

"Rose, get over here," Emmett demanded. The sound of his voice and the constant wanton desire she had for him was the only thing that could have pulled her away from Alice in that moment. Their lips parted and Alice took a hesitant step back. Rosalie cleared the pond in one leap and was straddling Emmett in the next.

I went to Alice and taking her hand, led deeper her into the woods. After we fucked ourselves silly and the emotions rolling off Emmett had calmed, I risked asking for her assessment.

"I knew it was you," she said looking down. I helped her put her bikini back on as she spoke.

"Darlin', I'm really sorry. Fucking Emmett, he was just so hot for Rose and he wouldn't let up." God, I felt like such a dick. How could I force that on my wife, even if it was pretty hot to watch.

"Well that's not it. I didn't really --- want to stop." Alice bit her lip and buried her face in my chest. "It's not that I like Rose like that or even really at all half the time, it was just-her body. I liked touching it." She whispered the last part.

Now here's another thing I have to explain and I'll blame Carlisle for this because in this department he really has no idea what the fuck he's talking about. Yes us vampires usually mate for life, that is a given, but there are the exceptions. One, there aren't that many of us in relation to the population of the earth. Two, some of us are gay/lesbians, so there aren't that many hetero-vampire couples walking around holding hands. And three, if we aren't in a committed relationship, we are nothing short of whores. Edward and Carlisle are the exception to the rule because they never had sex in their human life. Plus Edward has this whole complex where he thinks women's thoughts about him are a turn off. In my early days I would have used that to my advantage, but whatever.

I met Alice and I fell in love with her and I would never leave her and never do anything to hurt her. However I have slept with a large number of women before we met, a few of them vampires. When we are aroused there's little that can stop us. When Alice enjoyed kissing Rosalie it had nothing to do with Rosalie, it had everything to do with satisfying the desire to be touched. Rosalie felt the same thing. And the fact that Emmett and I were fanning the flames of the sexual climate made the acceptance of what was happening so much easier. But I digress...

"So you're not angry at me?" I asked stroking her hair.

"Of course not, Jazz. If anything I should be mad at Emmett. Asshole. He knows how we can make you feel," she nuzzled closer to me and started stroking my dick again. I was already hard.

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least my baby wasn't pissed. If Rose was mad then that was Emmett's problem. I could easily avoid her for a day or two.

When we got back to the house Emmett was waiting on the porch.

"Hey Alice, can I talk to Jazz for a moment?" he asked.

"Of course. You guys need to have this conversation," she said. I leaned over so she could kiss me on the cheek and she darted inside. _Damn it._ She'd had a vision about this and I didn't catch it.

Emmett and I took off from the house so the others couldn't hear our conversation. When we were a safe distance he started talking.

"Rose isn't mad," He blurted.

"She's not?!" That would have surprised anyone.

"Nope. She liked it."

"Hmm. So did Alice," I told him.

"I'm not into your woman, but I didn't hate it either," he confessed.

Knowing that Alice wasn't upset _did_ paint the situation in a new light for me. "Yeah. I know what you mean. Now what?"

Emmett and I talked for a while and we came to the conclusion that we should ask the girls how interested they were in trying it again. Rosalie was stubborn as hell and even if she was elated that I had just opened another kinky avenue for her, she was never the type to show any gratitude.

Later we sat them down they both shyly admitted to each other how they had been into the kiss and wouldn't be opposed to taking things further. We started slowly at first. Every once in a while when it was just the four of us I would project an unusually large amount of lustful feelings at the girls.

Emmett and I agreed that we didn't want them to feel like we just wanted them to put a show for us at our whim, so I was sure to spread these instances out over long periods of time. We also knew that Edward would randomly pick up on our thoughts. I had no desire for him to think that we were constantly having foursomes. He already felt alienated enough.

In the meantime Alice and Rosalie slowly progressed from kissing, to taking each other's clothes off to eventually having full on sex in front of us. Most of the time it only got as far as Emmett and I would let it go. I am not a big fan of jacking off when my wife is four feet in front of me. Neither is Emmett. We'd let them play for a while, but inevitably Em or I would break them apart so we could have our way with our ladies. We'd all seen each other naked a handful of times so I didn't really care if him and Rose fucked around us.

By the time Bella came into our lives, Alice and Rosalie were comfortable enough to start things without my assistance even though they still asked for it. It had been a while since anything had happened between them, but now that Bella was around so much and since she was so turned on every time she was around Edward, we all put in extra efforts to keep our hormones in check when we were all together. I had complete faith that Edward could make love to her problem free, but Bella wouldn't stand a chance in a vampire orgy.

As a test Alice asked the three of us to decide to include Edward and Bella in our play time together, just to see if it would spark a vision. She wouldn't give me all the details, but it included a fist fight between Edward and Emmett and Alice accidentally changing Bella in the throes of passion. It just added to the list of reasons why I kept my distance from Bella and her scent.

All of this brings me this weekend, the first weekend Edward and Bella had spent alone since our last encounter with the Volturi.

I stood at the top of the hill looking towards Griffith Park while Emmett talked to Edward on the phone. The weekend was going well for all us. Edward was finally giving Bella a little of what she wanted in the bedroom and when the girls weren't shopping Emmett, Carlisle and I were busy romancing them off their feet. We were pleasantly rewarded with lots of sex and some head in the hotel's hot tub.

"Nice, man. You made her come?" Emmett asked Edward.

_"Yes, but that's not why I'm calling."_ I could hear Edward pause a moment and take a deep, unnecessary, over dramatic breath. _"It was been brought to my intention that she would like to return the favor -- orally-"_

"Shit dude, that's awesome. Jazz, you hear that? Bella wants to go down on him." Emmett laughed, punching my arm.

"It's about time," I said. I understood Edward's struggle. I really did. I would never want to hurt Alice, but when the other party is more than willing...

"So what's the issue?" Emmett asked.

_"I am still a little concerned about my control. I know it's a little different than actual sex, but what do I do when I'm--. What I mean to ask is, where do I channel all that strength when--"_

"Oh you don't want accidentally rip her head off while you're nutting." I laughed quietly. Emmett was such an asshole. "That's easy, dude. Just grab onto something else, the bed frame or something. You can buy a new bed, you can't buy a new Bella."

I'd heard enough. Edward was working himself into a frenzy and I was in the mood to get back to Alice. I held my hand out for the phone.

"Here wait. Jazz, wants to talk to you," Emmett told him.

He handed me the phone and I explained him how to concentrate and focus his strength elsewhere.

"Just focus on being gentle and you'll be fine. And Emmett's right. If you feel your strength getting out of control just grab on to something else, anything that's not her. I've slept with plenty of humans before and I did more damage to their property than I did to them. It's easy. Trust me." He seemed okay, so I handed the phone back to Emmett. They prattled on for a few more moments about Edward getting naked in front of her and some other middle school bullshit before I felt the arousal rolling off Em. We were both ready to get back to the girls.

Just as Edward said, _"No that's it. Tell Jazz I said bye,"_ my cell phone rang. It was Alice.

I flipped open my phone and nodded toward Emmett. "Hello my darlin'," I crooned. We started sprinting back into the city.

"Hi. Where are you?" I could tell from the sound of her voice she was ready for me.

"We're heading back to the hotel. Where are you?" I teased.

"Well -- Carlisle and Esme went to the opera. Rose and I sitting at the hotel all alone." Emmett started running faster.

"We'll be there in a few seconds," I said. Emmett and I sprinted back to the hotel. Instead of risking the lives of the people in the lobby, we scaled the exterior wall to my and Alice's room.

"Ha. Smart girl," Emmett laughed as he started climbing. The window was already open. He quickly launched himself through and I was right behind him. There, sitting daintily on the bed, were Alice and Rose, both wearing some extremely see through lingerie.

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**Alice's POV**

I was so happy for Edward and Bella. Bella, in particular. She was so hard up. I was strongly considering sitting Edward down and telling him just how insane it was that him and Bella had been together for over a year, were about to get married and he had yet to make her come. Luckily Emmett beat me to it. Now that Bella was finally getting some and I knew she was safe, I was ready to really enjoy our weekend away.

Rose and I hadn't exactly planned it, but we knew it was bound to happen and this weekend seemed as good a time as any. We were away from Edward and Bella and Carlisle and Esme were busy enjoying some much deserved alone time.

It had been months since the four of us had been alone like this. Rose and I both were in the mood to give our boys a little treat, with Jasper's help of course.

We considered the skimpy school girl uniforms we'd packed, but while we were out shopping we found a few items that we knew would work a little bit better. We dressed in no time and it only took a few minutes for the boys to get back to us.

Emmett had a problem with ripping the things Rosalie bought so we skipped some of the more expensive pieces we saw on Rodeo and headed over to Fredrick's.

We picked out matching lace baby doll sets that left very little to the imagination. We had a little game in mind for the boys. My baby doll was red, a color I didn't actually like that much. It was Emmett's favorite. And Rosalie wore black, a color Jasper loved on me. I was hoping the two of them weren't so hard that they would catch on.

Rose and I sat there on the bed, grinning at the boys.

"How was the sign?" I asked Emmett. It was his idea to run up there. My eyes flashed to Jazz while Emmett answered.

"Big," Emmett said. Rose muttered something, but I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy staring at the erection stretching the seam of Jasper's jeans.

"You have fun, baby?" I asked him.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, giving me that Texas boy smile that made me want to ravage him. It was time to get on with it.

"Well you boys can go back out if you want, but Rose and I wanted you two to helps us settle a little bet," I said.

"A bet?" Emmett said. He was getting a little impatient, but that was Rose's problem to deal with.

"We were wondering. Does this look better in red?" Rose said.

"Or black?" I added.

"Red!"

"Black!"

Emmett and Jasper blurted at the same time. Rose and I both laughed. It was so hard not to love our silly boys. So horny, so eager.

"See, Rose. I told you we should switch." I stood up and took Rosalie's hand, pulling her up with me.

"You're right. We should switch now shouldn't we?" she said.

"Yeah we should switch." I turned to face Rose. Just as I brought my hand up to the small bow between Rose's breast I felt the first blow of concentrated desire. I was already a little wet from seeing Jasper crawling through that window. He always had that affect on me, but now the combination of his lust for me and whatever was going on in Emmett's pants, had me soaking through the thin fabric of my thong.

I knew that Jasper was doing this for all four us, for his buddy, but the way he was making me feel -- sometimes I felt like he was using his powers just for me. Jasper loved me more that Carlisle and Emmett loved their wives. I don't mean that to sound smug. I knew it to be true. Jasper had spent years taking in and analyzing the current of all of our emotions. Carlisle loved Esme with all his heart, but that love was not strong enough to override his strict code of ethics. Luckily it had never been an issue for them.

Emmett loved Rosalie, but mostly he loved fucking her. We all knew that she loved Emmett very much, but she was never resigned to their life together. Emmett knew that and it had an affect on him, even though he didn't show it often. He loved Rose and he sworn his life to her, but I think if Rose decided to leave him, he'd actually bounce back pretty quickly.

Jasper told me Edward's love for Bella was the only he'd seen to rival his love for me. I believed him. Jasper and Edward were the same. They would kill for Bella and I. Didn't matter the target. Their worlds would crumble without us. In no uncertain terms Jasper had told me that I was the only thing in the universe that mattered to him.

He took on this life for me. He'd turned on all his base instincts, for me. He lived for my happiness, breathed for my pleasure. When the four of us were together like this, I could see it in his eyes, Jasper lived for the moments where he could bask in the heights of my ecstasy. He could care less how much Emmett and Rosalie were enjoying themselves. I just knew he used his powers for us, for me.

The thin string came loose and I saw Jasper shift behind Rosalie. We always started off this way. I could feel Emmett move behind me. The boys slid into position so Jasper could watch me and Emmett could watch Rosalie. I had no reason to feel uncomfortable with Emmett. He touched me sometimes, but never inappropriately, well for us. A hand on my hip or on the underside of my breast while he watched Rosalie lick my nipples. He avoiding all the sensitive bits, my pussy and nipples and Jasper showed Rosalie the same respect.

For the moment the boys kept their hands to themselves.

I slid my fingers up Rosalie's shoulder and pulled the straps down. The sheer fabric hit the floor and Jasper bent quickly beside Rose to sweep it out of the way.

"You have such pretty nipples," I said to Rose, staring at the perfect light brown. Slowly I cupped her breasts, arching my thumbs over the swollen peaks.

"I know," she smirked.

"Such a brat." I giggled as I leaned forward and began licking the right one. We continued like this for several moments. Rose got me out of my baby doll and my thong and she was finally freed of hers. When we were both naked Rosalie sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me down to straddle her lap.

Then came my favorite part, the kissing.

I loved everything about being with Jasper. He made me feel like a woman. Being in his strong arms, his huge frame towering over me. I loved the way he could consume me and make me feel completely safe all at the same time. But still, I really enjoyed fooling around with Rose.

With her things were different. I loved searching the curves of her smooth skin. Of course our strength was matched, but her feminine energy turned me on in such a different way.

Her mouth was soft against mine. Jazz's lips were just as smooth, but women just kiss each other in different ways. Men use it as a means to get inside of you. Women seem to enjoy the act of kissing all on its own.

Rose and I slowly let our lips brush together, slide over one another. Her hands caressed the small of my back while my fingers wrapped around the back of her neck. We both moaned and whimpered and sighed, letting our tongues out to play.

I didn't bother to remain still. My body was dying for friction and I found it along firm lines of her stomach. I could feel the mood in the room surge and retreat as the minutes passed. With each little sound we made or the relocation of lips and hands, Emmett and Jasper didn't hesitate let us know how they felt about the scene in front of them.

Some time had passed when Rosalie finally broke her lips from mine. Her head tilted down a bit and I sat up a little more, bringing my nipple into her mouth. I shuddered, my clit straining in its hood.

"What do you want to do to me?" I asked her. As she replied, she teased my nipple lightly with her fingertips, before giving it a firm pinch.

"I want to go down on you."

The movement I made was faster than human eyes could have detected. I was on my back and just as quickly Rose's head was between my legs. She wasted no time going to work with her soft lips and her strong fingers. And I wasted no time gently gripping the back of her head. She caught on quickly, going at my wet pussy, harder and deeper.

Jasper made his way over and stood in the corner opposite me, leaning against the wall. Emmett sat on the bed next to Rose, he was close, but still he kept his hands to himself. I think him and Jazz had a silent agreement that if one of them were to join in it was a cue for the other to get involved as well. They were in the mood to prolong the show.

Rose licked me and fingered me for a long time. Tiny orgasms rippled through my body, tiny bundles of fireworks tripping off all over my skin and between my legs.

After a while I looked at Jasper, taking pity on him. I knew seeing Rose and I like this was a turn on, but there is a point where it becomes torture. I touched Rosalie gently on the shoulder, getting her attention. She stopped just long enough to scoot us to the side of the bed where I could hang my head off the edge.

"Come here, baby." I crooked my finger at Jasper, beckoning him towards me. He peeled his clothes off as he went, knowing how I wanted him.

He stood me before me, perfectly nude, while Rose continues lapping at my wetness with her tongue. I trailed the tip of my finger over the V of his hip, shadowed by an array of scars. He gently swept my bangs a little to the side, softly caressing my forehead. I could feel the love flowing off him

"Fuck my mouth," I whispered.

Suddenly Emmett burst out laughing. I looked up to see him with his shirt off, in the middle of pulling off his shoes.

"What?" I asked, scowling at him.

"I bet that's what Bella is saying to our boy right now." We all laughed at that.

Moments later I was laying back, running my tongue over the head of Jasper's dick. I loved the taste of him. I reached up and gripped him from behind. He kept his balance as I helped him shove his dick into my mouth. I wanted to make him come. I think Emmett felt he was entitled the same reward.

At this point I couldn't see, but I felt Emmett's weight shift on the bed. He was going to fuck Rosalie now. He could wait any more.

"No," she growled against my thigh, then went back to licking at my pussy. She was clearly talking to him.

He stopped his motions. "What babe?" Jasper stopped moving as well, momentarily interested in the conversation. I kept at my part, swirling my tongue along the side of his perfect shaft. Jazz groaned a bit and continued moving in my mouth.

"In my ass," she growled, giving her final instruction. Jasper, Emmett and I chuckled. Well I did as much as I could in my position and then Rosalie moaned loudly, letting me know that Emmett hadn't wasted anytime following instructions.

I felt this perfect kind of pressure from both directions. Jasper pumping into my eager mouth, Emmett forcing Rosalie's face harder against my pussy. I felt the pleasure burst through me, blinding me behind my eyelids.

Jasper's hand fell to my breast and gently, he massaged me. His fingers calmed and excited me all at once. The tender feeling of him touching my skin and the excitement tingled the tips of my sensitive nipples. The combination of it all made me come again.

"Mmmm." Jasper's purrs were just above a whisper. "Does that feel good, darlin'?" I nodded slightly, swallowing around his dick. "Fuuck," he growled again, thrusting deeper.

Rose held me down so she could continue to pleasure me. I was more than happy to let her continue. For a little while anyway.

The vision came to me quickly. Rose was making me feel so good, but I wanted my husband in the same way he wanted me. His decision was made and there was no way I was turning him down.

"Rose, stop," I purred. She sat up in an instant and just as fast Emmett had her flipped over and was pulling her legs up over his shoulders.

I flipped over on all fours and looked up at Jazz. "Do not punch the wall. You'll go right through it."

A low growl of understanding rolled out of his throat and he took a small step back. I watched him for a moment as he panted, feeling the waves of lust roll off him. No matter what had already taken place, Jasper's concentrated emotions still had the power to make me drip and come just off their intensity.

I savored the moment, gazing into his focused eyes. He watched me in kind, stroking himself, not even bothering to calm his breathing. A piece of his light hair fell into his golden his eyes and the tip of his tongue grazed his bottom lip. His scars rippled across his perfect shoulders and sides. His was so beautiful and he was all mine.

Not exactly heading my own advice, I pounced on him. We smashed into the wall, our bodies leaving a small crack.

"Oops," I giggled into his mouth. He smiled as he lifted me up a little bit higher and impaled me with perfect cock, the only bit of his body not scarred by war. He turned us then, pressing my back against the floral wallpaper and braced himself with his left hand next to my head.

There was no way to control the sounds that were coming out of me. I'd been waiting for him all day, wanting every inch of him inside me, filling me, pounding me, making me his over and over.

I could hear Rosalie's cries and Emmett's grunts of effort somewhere in the distance. All I could feel was Jasper.

"I love you..." he stuttered against my cheek. I gripped his back, willing him closer. He dug into me slower, deeper.

I'd had the visions. I knew everything would be all right at home, but this moment made the weekend complete. Edward and Bella would be fine and soon she would be a part of our family forever. But in the long run that didn't really matter.

I held on to my husband, aching for his release, basking in mine again and again. I knew as I always had -- what really mattered to _me_ was the man between my legs and all the ways he could make me feel.

--

**a final bit of baby steps. hope you liked it.**


	14. Aug 4 Author's Note

**August 4, 2009 Author's Note:**

Just a little announcement. I am done writing for fic for sure, but I will be doing one last little bit.

Partially inspired by JR Ward and **_OcherEyes21_**'s question about Leah and her moaning and with a blessing from HunterHunting, when im done posting my story _St. Andrews Place_ I will answer ALL questions you ladies (and three boys) have about any and all of my stories, plots, characters whatever. I've been asked questions about my characters from SO before but never answered them in a public forum.

**I will also do character interviews with ****Jake and Nessie from _So Obvious_ and Leah and Bella from _St. Andrews Place_. You can ask them anything. and I mean anything. As X-rated or sickly sweet as you want to get. I am well in touch with these characters and I know they would love to chat with you ladies.**

So if there's anything you want to know -- ANYTHING, pm me or post the questions on my forum threads or in a review and I will answer all the questions in a final enormous A/N after I post the final chapter of St. As.

xoxo– **_Lipsmacked_**.


	15. NOTE FOR NEW SCHOOL

_**Sorry for the tease I updated my story New School and for some reason the alert never went out so im just letting people know this way. The chapter is #20 and its called OVERHEARD. its in Nahuels POV. sorry for the mix up.  
**_

_**xoxo Gossip Girl ... I mean Lipsmacked.**_


	16. Final AN

_**Okay kids -- Sad to say, but I am officially pulling out to go back to writing professionally -- full time. My profile on Twilighted has already been removed and some time in the next week this profile including all of my stories will be pulled down. I am working on a few projects, one of them being a three part adventure/romance series that will be much like my stories you have read on here and yes I have someone to proofread them. I have saved the names of everyone who has favorited me and my stories and will happily alert you when my original fiction is out. Thank you all so much for your kind and at times hilarious, comments, reviews and pms. You have no idea how much they've meant to me.  
**_

_**xoxo - Lipsmacked**_


	17. Okay The Real Final AN

_**i'm starting to sound like a complete fraud. Apparently the nice folks here at FF dot net are telling me its my responsibility to pull my stories and close my profile. i'm pretty much in the zone with my other writing now and no longer feel im in danger of falling back into the Jake/Nessie, Alice/Bella, Edward/Bella trap so i'm going to leave these up for a while because about 200 people asked me to. they will come down eventually i just don't know when. Enjoy!  
**_

_**xoxo - Lipsmacked**_

_**ps i swear this is the last A/N.  
**_


	18. Just A Heads Up

Just a heads up...

On January 1, 2011 I will be pulling all of my stories and closing this account soon after. Thank you so much to all of you who have given my stories a chance. I'm shocked that I still get favorite alerts and reviews on stuff I haven't updated in over a year. I have some fun stuff coming up and I'm excited to share all of it with you who actually care. Those of you who could give less of a shit, please do ignore this.

If you have any questions or want to yell at me for more for not finishing Baby Steps, New School or Never Knew you can hit me up on my twitter or at rebekahwsm (at) gmail dot com. I'll be posting one more note between now and the 1st, but just know these stories will all be removed. NONE OF THEM WILL BE PUBLISHED!

xoxo - Beks aka Lipsmacked


	19. Signing Off

**FINAL – I SWEAR TO GOD – FINAL Fanfiction AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Okay... I have been holding this in for WEEKS as is the nature of the business. My first book, _Better Off Red _has been picked up by Bold Strokes Books and that is why I'm dropping all of these stories. I understand that a lot of you enjoy reading them, but I simply need to move on, which has been the plan for a long time now.

In my profile you will find the link to my Bold Strokes author page and a link to my facebook author page where I will be updating from now on. Also you can follow me on twitter.

These stories will come down on January 1, 2011, but my book will be out in 2011 too so HOOORAY.

_Better Off Red_ is a lesbian paranormal romance and I really do think those of you how have enjoyed my femslash stories will enjoy it.

Thank you guys so much for your support and kind words about my stories. Please don't hesitate to drop me an email or a tweet. I seriously have no life, besides this whole writing thing...

**xoxo – Lipsmacked aka Beks**


	20. Book News!

Hey guys! I just wanted to say thank you so much for the continued support and interest in my stories. Everyday someone favorites Baby Steps or sends me a note about St Andrews Place and I'm just floored.

Now the fun announcement. 2 Weeks! before It's scheduled release, the e-verison of _Better Off Red_ is available over at Bold Strokes Books .com. I've posted the link in my profile since ff . Net wont let you post links in files.

Again, thank you guys so much! I'm going to try and repost St Andrews Place sometime between now and December. It's a HUGE file that needs reformatting and I have another book to edit!

xoxo Rebekah


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